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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513049">The Wasteland</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceInFlannel/pseuds/AliceInFlannel'>AliceInFlannel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Add tags as I go, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Fallout (Video Games) Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fallout Video Game References, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Dean Winchester, M/M, Mysterious Castiel (Supernatural), Naive Dean Winchester, Older Castiel (Supernatural), Post-Apocalypse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teen Dean Winchester, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Virgin Dean Winchester, Young Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:28:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>57,323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceInFlannel/pseuds/AliceInFlannel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a Supernatural/Fallout IV crossover, but you do not need to know anything about Fallout IV to enjoy this fic. Everything pertaining to the game will be explained in the fic.</p><p>Dean spent the first eighteen years of his life living on the Winchester farm and trying his best to survive the harsh conditions of The Wasteland. His mother was killed by raiders when he was young, and his father was swept up in his grief and quest for revenge. So why is it that when he comes face to face with a raider, his focus is on a pair of bright blue eyes and not on grabbing his gun?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Past Castiel/Amelia Novak - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first attempt at fanfiction so any comments or constructive criticism is welcome!<br/>I have the first few chapters finished and a general idea of where I want the story to go, but I'm also letting the characters take me where they want.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean silently creeps down the abandoned alleyway towards the back entrance of the old hospital. He usually tries his best to stay out of Lexington because the old cities are often overrun with ghouls, raiders, or even worse, super mutants, but John needed him to make a supply run for some medications. The Winchester farm is about a five mile jog outside of Lexington. Far enough away to keep them safe from the hazards of the city, but close enough to where they can still scavenge for supplies.</p><p> </p><p>When Dean gets to the door he drops down into a crouch and places his ear against it to listen for any movement inside. If he hears anything, he’ll have to book it as fast as possible in the opposite direction. He’s out here alone, and while he has his shotgun and pistol, it would be insane to try and shoot his way out of that kind of situation. His legs start to cramp while he stays completely still and listens, but he repeats all of his dad’s instructions over and over in his head to center himself.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The Wasteland is dangerous, son. The moment you get cocky or complacent is the moment you leave yourself open for attack. Never let your focus waver. Never let anyone or anything get the drop on you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>This isn’t Dean’s first excursion into the city. He just turned eighteen yesterday, but his dad has had him going on runs since he was fifteen. First, he went out as part of a group, but once he had proven how stealthy he could be and had shown his knack for finding valuable supplies, John started letting him go off on solo runs.</p><p> </p><p>Now that he’s been crouched here for a few minutes and hasn't heard any noise from inside the hospital, he figures it must be clear. He’s still going to be on the lookout for anything that might be out of place. Sometimes even if raiders aren’t camping out at a location they’ll still booby trap it to try and keep people out. Dean twists the doorknob and is surprised to find it unlocked. He opens the door slowly and peeks inside. Nothing sends off warning flags, so he steps inside what used to be the back entrance to the Lexington Emergency Room. The place has been completely ransacked, of course, as has every other building in the city. Hell, same as the entire Wasteland!</p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t know exactly what happened all those years ago during the Great War. His parents only told him that the atomic bombs were dropped and those people lucky enough to make it into the vaults were able to survive while virtually everyone else was killed, either in the initial blast or slowly due to the subsequent radiation. His mom told him that there used to be seven billion people on the planet. Dean doesn't believe that, but she swore it was the truth. Now there’s no way of knowing exactly how many people are left, but it’s a small fraction of what there used to be.</p><p> </p><p>It was a couple hundred years before their ancestors who had escaped into the vaults were able to come back to the surface. By that point the radiation levels had lowered enough that the land was somewhat inhabitable again. They still have to be cautious though. They can't drink or swim in the water without getting radiation poisoning. All of the remaining plant and animal life on earth has mutated and become deformed because of radiation. All of the food in the Wasteland will infect them with rads unless it's cooked first. And then there are the ghouls: those unfortunate people who were caught outside when the bombs were dropped but weren’t killed instantly in the blast. After a certain amount of time they’d morphed into these less than human things. They roam around what’s left of the cities in packs, and they’re best to avoid whenever possible. Super mutants are best to avoid as well. Those are mutated humans that are much larger and stronger than regular humans, the result of an old military experiment gone wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Of course to Dean, this is his reality. He was born in 2281 which was almost exactly two hundred years after the bombs fell. He’s heard stories of what life was like before, but they seem like fictions. They’re so far away from what life is like now, it’s hard to believe them. His mom used to say it’s important to keep passing down these stories from generation to generation so that nobody will forget how things were before, but Dean doesn’t want to think about how things were before. His only interest is in surviving now.</p><p> </p><p>He takes a deep breath and tries to focus. He’s here looking for any types of medications he can find because they’re running low. They could always trade a passing caravan for what they need, but that can get expensive. It’s easier to try and scavenge supplies themselves, but after two hundred years most buildings have been pretty thoroughly picked clean. That’s why Dean is the one who goes on these runs. He’s the best at finding valuables among the rubble. He starts to methodically make his way through the enormous hospital. He has his pistol out just in case but he doesn’t think he’ll need it today. The hospital seems to be completely empty. He’s made his way through most of the first floor when he hears footsteps outside. He immediately drops into a crouch and listens. He can make out at least five different footfalls, and they’re too light to be super mutants. There’s no grunting or groaning, so it can’t be ghouls. That means it must be raiders.</p><p> </p><p>Raiders are humans who live by an “us vs them” mentality. They gang up into little groups and will fight basically anyone else that’s not one of them. They even go after settlers on farms like his family’s and steal crops or valuable possessions. They’re the scum of the Wasteland. Dean just hopes they’re only passing by on the road outside and won’t actually come inside the hospital. There are plenty of nooks and crannies he could hide in but he’d rather not have to risk it.</p><p> </p><p>Dean holds his breath, and he can barely hear the sound of their boots over the hammering of his heart in his chest. He can handle himself with his gun, but trying to attack five raiders by himself would be insane. He has to hope they won’t notice him. He hears them pause outside of the front door to the hospital. Dean slowly inches his way towards a supply closet. He knows from previous runs that this door has a lock on it because he had to pick it last time he was here. He manages to slip inside and lock it right as he hears one of them say, “Do we have to check in there? I swear we were here last week.” It’s a woman’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Boss left me in charge, and I say we’re going building by building.” This voice is gravely and much deeper than the first. Definitely a man. The woman sighs dramatically. “Well, Meg, if we’d checked the buildings methodically the first time we wouldn’t have to check them again, would we?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you always have to be so reasonable, Blue?” The first voice, Meg, responds.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s why I’m in charge,” Blue chuckles. “Alright everyone, we’re checking the hospital. I’ll take the first floor. Meg, you take the second. Ruby, you check the basement, and Gordon and Zach you guys keep a look out. Let’s try to get this done before sundown.” The other raiders grunt in agreement and enter the hospital to start looking for whatever they’re looking for. Dean realizes that he’s probably going to be crouched in this tiny closet for a long time because it had taken him a few hours to search the first floor. His already aching legs scream in protest, but he grits his teeth and tries to stay as still as possible.</p><p> </p><p>He can hear the two women head off to their respective floors, and he listens for the man they called Blue who said he’d be searching the first floor. He hears movement, but it’s at the other end of the floor. For now he’s safe, but there’s no way for Dean to sneak out of here with the other two raiders standing guard outside. This is why raiders travel in packs and why Dean probably shouldn’t have come out here alone. He won’t go down without a fight, but the chances of him making it out of here in one piece are pretty slim at this point. He thinks about Sammy and his dad coming out here tomorrow to look for him and finding his body, and he feels tears begin to prick up behind his eyes. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. He can’t cry now.</p><p> </p><p>Dean hears the man’s footsteps approaching the door and knows he’s completely fucked. The door is locked, but he was able to pick it easily himself, and he’s sure the raider will be able to pick it as well. He hears the doorknob twist and then the sound of the lock being picked. He’s not sure it would be possible for his heart to beat any faster than it is right now. The door opens, and he stares into the brightest blue eyes he’s ever seen. Well, that explains his name at least. The man seems totally surprised to see a person hiding in the closet, and Dean is too petrified to even try raising his gun to defend himself. He closes his eyes and prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that his death will be painless.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to hurt you,” the man whispers, and Dean opens his eyes in surprise. The man looks around as if he’s making sure nobody can hear him. “You been in here the whole time?” Dean nods. “Damn, you’re sneaky,” the man chuckles and reaches out his hand as if to help him up. Dean ignores the gesture. He slowly stands up on his own, and the man lets his hand drop. “Did you find anything good in here?” He looks down at the bag Dean is clutching in his other hand, and Dean shakes his head. “You’re a quiet one, huh?” Dean’s actually far from quiet, but he’s so scared he’s about to shit himself and doesn’t think he’d be able to say anything without his fear showing through.</p><p> </p><p>The man stares at him with an indecipherable look on his face, and Dean can’t look away even though he wants to. All he sees is blue.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, there’s a window on the south side of the first floor that’s broken. You’re small enough that you should be able to squeeze through. The guys won’t see you if you exit that way.” Dean is dumbfounded. Raiders never let people go and definitely not without taking all of their valuables first. The man tilts his head in confusion probably wondering why he isn’t running.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Dean says softly, and the man gives a hint of a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t kill kids, but don’t think for a second that makes me soft,” he laughs. “Go on, get out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t have to be told twice! He runs as quietly as possible to the south side of the first floor and immediately spots the broken window. He throws his bag through the opening and then carefully climbs through. As he’s lowering himself down, he dares to look back inside and can see that the man is still staring at him. He feels goosebumps on his arms, and he can’t tell if they’re prompted by being stared at or his body realizing how narrowly he’d just escaped death.</p><p> </p><p>When his feet hit the grass below, he grabs his bag and sprints as fast as he can in the direction of his family’s farm. He doesn’t stop even when his sides begin to ache and his breathing grows ragged. He keeps all of his focus on the feeling of his feet pounding on the earth as the sun begins to set behind him and the miles pass by. He feels like he’s about to pass out by the time he gets back to the farm. Sammy must’ve been on lookout because Dean can hear him shouting for his dad and Bobby to come outside. He feels grass tickling his cheek and realizes he must’ve fallen down. He lets himself slip off into unconsciousness now that he knows he’s safe, and the last thing he’s aware of is the sound of his dad shouting his name.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first thing he notices when he regains consciousness is that he’s lying on his mattress, and there’s a blanket on him. It’s dark out except for a lit candle in the corner of the room so he must’ve been unconscious for a few hours at least. </p><p> </p><p>“Figured it was best to let you sleep a bit once we knew you were okay.” That’s his dad’s voice. Dean tries to move to figure out where the voice is coming from but stops when his head throbs in pain. “You might have a small concussion. You hit your head pretty hard when you passed out.” John moves closer to the side of the mattress so Dean can see him. “You wanna tell me what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean clears his throat a couple times. He tries to speak, but his mouth is too dry. John helps him take a sip of water, and then he starts filling him in on what happened. “I was at the hospital in Lexington. I’d already scoped the place out and had almost finished searching the entire first floor when I heard a group of raiders outside.” Dean can see John’s expression switch from impassive to concerned. “It was too late for me to get out of there so I tried hiding in a closet. A raider found me, but then he let me go.” Now John looks absolutely shocked. “He said something about not killing kids. Anyways, I ran before he could change his mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you get a good look at this group of raiders? Did you hear them say anything about a man named Alistair?” Alistair was the leader of the raiding group that had attacked them fourteen years ago and taken Dean’s mother. John has been trying to hunt him down to get revenge, but Dean doesn’t see the point in that. Mary is gone, and trying to attack a group of raiders with only himself, Dean, and Bobby is a stupid plan. Bobby agrees. He listens to John whenever he goes on rants about the raiders, but he has no intention of trying to go after them. Plus, they have Sammy to worry about. The kid is only fourteen and definitely not old enough to take on a group of raiders with them.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Dean responds, “No mention of Alistair or anything like that.” He can see the way John’s face falls, but in a way Dean is relieved. He’s tired of his dad leaving them to go hunting for revenge. They have lives here and people to protect.</p><p> </p><p>After another moment of silence, John gets up and leaves without saying another word. Dean can’t help but feel like he’s disappointed in him, but he doesn’t know why. Sure, he was only able to bring back a few supplies, but he’d also narrowly escaped being killed. It seems like John only cares about what information he could give him and not his son’s safety. Dean tries his best to fall back asleep, but it takes him forever because he can’t stop thinking about how many times he’s failed his father. Before he slips into unconsciousness he vows to do whatever it takes to not disappoint him again.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean spends the next couple days recovering and tending to the crops with Sam. John has run off again to wherever he goes when he’s hunting down the raiders. He left in the middle of the night after he talked to Dean and didn’t even tell Bobby where he was going. Bobby and Sam are both angry at John for taking off like that, but Dean's just upset. He can't help but feel like this is all his fault somehow.</p><p> </p><p>The days pass by in a monotonous blur. Wake up, cook breakfast, tend the crops with Bobby while Sam is lookout, eat lunch, keep lookout while Sammy tends to the crops, dinner, and then sleep. Some nights he keeps watch to let Bobby get some decent sleep. With John gone again, he and Bobby have to pick up the slack. Even though they’ve got a fence and guard posts surrounding the farm, it’s necessary to keep someone on guard duty at all times. It’s too dangerous out here to get complacent for even a moment.</p><p> </p><p>Dean wakes up the next morning after not nearly enough sleep. He tried to keep watch for the entire night to let Bobby get a full night’s sleep, but he ended up having to wake Bobby up when he began to nod off. He only got a meager three or so hours of sleep himself, but he couldn’t allow himself to sleep in. He has work to do. Since his last trip had been interrupted by the raiders, Dean decides it’s time to take another trip out to the city. When he confronts Bobby about it, the older man is not pleased. He doesn’t want Dean going out to the city alone again after what happened last time, but there’s really no other option at this point. They need supplies, and with John gone, they can’t risk all leaving the farm to go on a run together. Dean has to go by himself.</p><p> </p><p>“I can handle this, Bobby,” he says while packing up the gear he’ll need for the trip. “The chances of running into raiders two trips in a row is pretty small don’t you think?” Bobby rolls his eyes at him. “It’s not like I really have a choice here. Dad’s gone, and we need these supplies.” Bobby harrumphs in annoyance but doesn’t argue because he knows Dean’s right.</p><p> </p><p>Dean ruffles Sam’s hair while he straps on his empty backpack. Hopefully it’ll be full of as many supplies as he can carry on his return trip. He can tell that Sam is unhappy about him leaving again so soon after what happened last time, but like Bobby, he’s unable to give a convincing reason for Dean to stay. They need these supplies, and he’ll be damned if he comes back empty handed again.</p><p> </p><p>He heads off on the five mile walk back to the city and starts humming tunelessly to himself to pass the time. It’s about a mile before he reaches the street. It’s surprising how many relics from before the war still survive. The street is beat up and broken, like everything else around here, with grass and weeds coming up through the cracks and potholes filled up with dirty rainwater. It’s still better following the road than trying to take an over-land route. There are fewer wild animals roaming around the closer he is to any sort of civilization.</p><p> </p><p>There are electrical poles spaced evenly alongside the road, their wires tangled and hanging down uselessly. Power hasn’t run through these lines in centuries. Some areas in the Wasteland have electricity but only through the use of generators. His dad said that these old power-lines used to deliver electricity to the entire country. The world used to be so bright at night that it could be seen from outer space. Dean’s not sure if he believes that, but regardless, the world hasn’t shined that brightly in the past two hundred years. Lights at night are a luxury, and more than that, they’re a risk. Usually people only use lights at night if they have enough members of their settlement to defend themselves, otherwise they’re just opening an invitation for passing raiders. Lights at night are like a sign saying “We’re over here! Come attack us!” At the Winchester farm, they don’t have a generator, so they make do with using candles in the evening. For the most part though, they schedule their days around the sun’s natural cycle—going to sleep once it gets too dark to see and waking up when the sun rises.</p><p> </p><p>Dean can see the city of Lexington off in the distance. This is when he needs to start being careful. The advantage of getting closer to the city is there are many buildings and alleyways he can duck into in case he needs to hide. The disadvantage is of course that there could be feral ghouls or raiders wandering around. He pulls his 10mm out just in case he needs it and picks up his pace to a light jog. He’s in good enough shape to where he can jog at this pace for a few miles without even breaking a sweat. John made sure that both of his boys would be fit and able to defend themselves. After losing Mary, he realized that they couldn’t just exist as farmers, they’d have to do what they could to prepare themselves for being attacked either by hostile wildlife or hostile people.</p><p> </p><p>Dean makes it back to the hospital in almost no time and stops outside to breathe a sigh of relief that he hadn’t encountered any ferals along the way. They’re fast, but he’d be able to outrun them if he had to. Though, he definitely wouldn’t want to tangle with them because all it takes is one bite from a feral to turn you into one yourself.</p><p> </p><p>He feels a wave of déjà vu when he sees the broken window he escaped out of last time he was here. He looks around to see if there’s anything he can place underneath the window to help him reach it. He could go around the building to the front and use that door, but he doesn’t want to press his luck. This side of the building is clear of threats, but the other sides might not be. He finds an empty wooden crate a few feet away that he pushes underneath the open window. He’s able to reach is when he stands on top of that. He pulls off his leather jacket and places it over the broken glass so he won’t cut himself when he hauls himself up. After he’s through, he puts the jacket back on and starts over on his search for materials, picking up where he left off last time before the raiders had interrupted him.</p><p> </p><p>He’s looking for any kinds of medications he can get his hands on but especially medications for radiation poisoning. It’s easy to pick up rads from doing just about anything out here, so they always like to keep a supply of at least a few medications. They’re currently running pretty low which is why Dean is back out here again so soon after last time.</p><p> </p><p>He heads up to the second floor since he searched the first floor the last time he was here. He finds a few packs of cigarettes which he can sell the next time a caravan passes through, but so far he hasn’t seen any medications. The place looks pretty picked clean. He’s been there for about an hour without any noises whatsoever, so he starts letting his guard down. That’s a big mistake because just then a voice comes from behind him and causes him to jump about two feet into the air.</p><p> </p><p>“Fancy seeing you here again.” Dean turns and aims his gun in a fraction of a second. “Don’t shoot, it’s just me!” The man slowly walks forward into the light of the window, and Dean can see it’s that guy Blue from last time he was here. He doesn’t lower his weapon, but he takes his finger off of the trigger. “I’m alone, and I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“You scared the SHIT out of me!” Dean puts the safety back on and lowers his gun. “Don’t sneak up on people like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I like the element of surprise.” His eyes twinkle, and Dean had forgotten how insanely blue they are.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing here?” Dean tries to cover the fear in his voice, but his adrenaline is still pumping.</p><p> </p><p>“Following you, of course. I saw you go through the window.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean sighs and starts to hand over his bag. He hadn’t found much, but it’s something at least. Blue tilts his head in confusion. “Why are you giving me your bag?”</p><p> </p><p>“Isn’t that why you’re here? To steal what I’ve found?”</p><p> </p><p>That makes Blue chuckle. “I doubt you’ve found much. I made sure we tore this place apart last time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well then why are you here?” Dean’s starting to get frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re much more talkative than last time.” The man walks closer, and Dean does his best not to cower backwards.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I’m just getting used to feeling like I might die at any moment,” he responds sourly.</p><p> </p><p>Blue laughs again. “Sassy too. I like that.” He stares at Dean for a prolonged moment, and Dean can’t find it in himself to look away. Something about the man’s eyes is mesmerizing. “I followed you in here because I’m honestly kind of surprised to see you out here alone again considering what happened last time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Desperate times.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you looking for?”</p><p> </p><p>“Rad-Away,” Dean replies. He’s about to tell the man that he needs it for his family, but he quickly remembers that he shouldn’t tell him any more than is necessary. Regardless of how friendly he’s acted so far, he’s still a raider, and Dean needs to be careful. The man pauses for a moment and then reaches into his bag. He rummages for a bit before pulling out a bottle of pills. He tosses the bottle to Dean who catches it on instinct. It’s almost completely full! There are enough pills in here to last his family a few months at least! What the hell? “I can’t afford this.” Dean reaches out to hand the bottle back to the man, but he just shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about it. I have plenty.”</p><p> </p><p>“Umm…” Dean’s not really sure what to say. “Thanks?”</p><p> </p><p>The man smiles. “You’re welcome.” Dean puts the bottle in his bag and looks up to see that he is still staring at him. “By the way, my group is camped out at the Corvega Assembly Plant, and we plan on staying there for a while. You should probably find another place to scavenge for supplies. The rest of them aren’t as friendly as I am.” Dean nods in understanding, and with a final small smile, Blue leaves just as quietly as he arrived.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it's probably a bit weird seeing Castiel referred to as Blue, because it also feels weird writing it like that. There's a reason for that nickname and also a reason for why he doesn't tell Dean what his real name is yet</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few weeks pass by in much the same way as before. John is still off searching for his revenge, or he could be dead at this point. There’s really no way for any of them to know. Their crops are hanging on by a thread after a few bad acidic rainstorms, but the weather has been improving since then. Dean hasn’t been out on any more scouting missions since the last one. Now that they have a full bottle of Rad-Away pills, there’s no real need to go on any runs. They’ll wait for John to stumble back home before they try going out again.</p><p> </p><p>To say that Bobby had been skeptical when Dean returned with a full bottle of medication would be putting it mildly. Dean explained it away as dumb luck, saying that whoever was in the hospital last must’ve accidentally dropped their stash, but Bobby has a nose like a bloodhound when it comes to sniffing out lies. He could tell Dean wasn’t telling the whole truth, but he didn’t press him on it. After all, what does it matter where the pills came from? All that matters is they don’t have to worry about running out any time soon.</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s not sure why he didn’t tell Bobby or Sam about Blue. There was some part of his brain telling him to keep him a secret. <em>To keep him safe</em>. And that’s hilarious! The thought of Dean keeping a raider safe.</p><p> </p><p>That night he lays down on his flimsy mattress and tries to get some much needed sleep. Bobby is teaching Sam how to keep a night watch tonight. Now that the kid is fourteen, he’s been begging Bobby to let him help with the “grown-up” jobs. Pretty soon he’s going to be asking to go on solo-runs. The thought of Sammy alone in the city, running into a pack of ghouls or raiders makes Dean shiver. He forcibly removes himself from that scary train of thought. Instead his mind focuses on a pair of stunning blue eyes, and he’s startled for a second before letting himself relax. Staring into those eyes makes him feel safe, and if he drifts off to a restful sleep with Blue on his mind, that’s his business.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dean wakes abruptly to the sound of gunshots. He bolts up in bed, trying to get his bearings. It’s dark out, so it’s probably some time after midnight. He can hear lots of voices shouting outside, and he scrambles to grab his guns.</p><p> </p><p>“Drop your gun now or I’ll kill him!” an unknown voice shouts. Dean’s heart is beating so fast, he can hear it in his ears. He peeks around the door so he can see what’s happening outside. There’s a group of at least five people with torches standing on their land. There appear to be more figures standing further back, but they’re hard to make out in the darkness. His stomach drops when he sees a man holding a knife to Sammy’s throat. Bobby has his gun raised to the man, but he’s way outmatched. Dean doesn’t know what to do. There’s no way he’d be able to take out enough of them quickly enough to turn the tide in their favor. He can’t accurately shoot the man holding Sam, and if he shoots any of the other men, Sam dies, Bobby dies, and then he dies.</p><p> </p><p>“This is your last warning,” the man holding Sam shouts. “Drop your gun, and we’ll leave you unharmed. Don’t, and we’ll shoot you. Either way, the boy’s coming with us.”</p><p> </p><p>“NO!!!” A scream tears out of Dean’s throat, and he’s charging out the door without even stopping to think. They can’t take Sammy!</p><p> </p><p>“What’s this?” The man chuckles darkly.</p><p> </p><p>Dean drops his guns. “Take me instead!” He’s close enough to hear Sam crying, and he turns to see Bobby drop his own gun. He must’ve finally realized there’s no chance of fighting their way out of this one. Dean raises his hands in surrender and slowly walks forward into the light of the torches.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm,” the man sneers, “that’s an interesting proposition.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait.” Another man yells from the darkness. “I’m claiming this one, Boss.” Dean knows that gravely voice. It’s Blue. Sure enough, the man steps forward into the light, and Dean can see it’s definitely him.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that so?” The man holding Sam turns to look in Blue’s direction. “What makes you say that?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s pretty. I want him, and you owe me one for saving your ass in the Boston commons.” His eyes aren’t the same as they were the other two times Dean’s seen him. There’s no trace of warmth or friendliness. His face is hard, and his eyes glint in the light of the torches.</p><p> </p><p><em>Boss </em>throws Sam to the ground and curses. Sam starts crawling backwards towards the farmhouse, and Dean looks back at Bobby and can see unshed tears in his eyes. “Take care of him,” Dean says quietly enough to where the other men won’t hear, but he knows Bobby will. “And tell Dad I’m sorry.” Bobby nods solemnly.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright Captain, he’s all yours,” the man hisses at Blue and sends one last glare towards Dean before turning around to face the rest of the men. “Everybody clear out!” The men put out their torches and start heading back towards the road. Dean sends one last look back towards Bobby who is now holding a sobbing Sam close to his chest. His eyes fill up with tears, but he won’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He swallows past the lump in his throat and turns to follow the other men.</p><p> </p><p>Blue is standing still waiting for him with an indecipherable expression on his face. Dean can see that the leader of the group is watching them. When Dean gets within a few feet of Blue, the man grabs his wrist and yanks him forward towards him. He leans down to Dean’s ear and whispers, “I just saved yours and your brother’s lives. Don’t fight and don’t run.” Then he shoves Dean hard so he falls down. He doesn’t have time to react before the man kicks him in the ribs. Dean grabs his side and groans. “Get up, bitch. I don’t have all night.” Dean looks up at the leader and sees him smile and turn away to follow the rest of the group. He slowly gets to his feet and looks up at his captor with hurt on his face. Blue turns and starts walking, expecting Dean to follow. He has no idea what’s happening, but he knows for right now he needs to behave and do what he’s told. He can’t risk them coming back to hurt Sammy.</p><p> </p><p>They walk in silence for a while about a hundred paces behind the rest of the group. Once they’ve made it to the road, the light of the moon is enough to see that there are around ten to fifteen people here. This is probably the group of raiders Blue said he was a part of. That means they’re most likely heading back to the Corvega Assembly Plant. Dean has never been to the plant, but he’s seen its hulking frame off in the distance when he would go on runs to Lexington. The place is huge! That means these people must only be a fraction of their full group. It fully sinks in that there’s no way he’s going to be able to escape.</p><p> </p><p>“You need to stay by my side at all times, do you understand?” Blue’s voice breaks Dean out of his thoughts. Even though the man speaks softly, he still jumps. They’ve been walking in silence for so long, he wasn’t expecting him to say anything. Dean doesn’t respond, he just keeps walking. He can feel the man’s eyes on his face. “I’m serious. We’re in danger.”</p><p> </p><p>“We?” Dean scoffs. “You seem to be pretty in control at the moment, <em>Captain</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Control is an illusion.” Dean turns to look at him, but he’s facing forward again. He can see Lexington off in the distance, and he can just make out the looming towers of the factory through the fog. It’s still at least a thirty minute walk at this pace. Dean waits for him to say something else, but he doesn’t until a few minutes later. “I really am sorry about this. I had no idea this was your farm.” Dean grits his teeth but stays silent. “I am going to do whatever I can to make this as easy as possible for you given the circumstances, but you must understand that I have to keep up appearances. I’m only <em>Captain</em> as long as I act as one.”</p><p> </p><p>After a few more minutes of silence, Dean builds up the courage to ask the question that’s been pressing on his mind since this all started. “Why take me?”</p><p> </p><p>Blue purses his lips like he’s trying to decide whether or not to answer him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m trying to trust you, but you have to give me something,” Dean pleads softly. He knows he shouldn’t trust the man who kidnapped him, regardless of the fact that he generously gave him a bottle of medication or the fact that his smile causes his stomach to do flips. He’s the enemy. He’s not a friend.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to various farms and settlements, trying to build up our ranks,” he answers quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“But why? If you’re camped at Corvega my guess is you already have a big group.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue pauses for another moment, and Dean turns to look at him. “I’m sorry, I’m really not supposed to be telling you about any of this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then tell me this, and I’ll drop it.” Dean looks at the ground to avoid a massive puddle in the middle of the road. “Are you on the level?”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean all this ‘I’m your friend, trust me’ crap," Dean answers angrily. "Because from where I’m standing, you’re my captor, not my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t I be both?” the man gives him a tired smile. “I’ll just say that there’s more at play here than I can really explain at the moment. I’ve done bad things, but I’m not a bad guy.” </p><p> </p><p>They’re on the outskirts of the city now. It’s weird traveling through here in a big group. Dean is used to being stealthy and on high alert when he comes to the city, but the guys at the front of the group are joking around and laughing loudly. One of them must make a particularly funny joke because the men around him howl with laughter. Dean looks over at his companion and sees the man roll his eyes in annoyance. He’s so confused. Everything about Blue is at odds with everything Dean knows about raiders, and yet he’s not only one of them, he’s one of their leaders. Maybe there really is ‘more at play here’. Dean's not planning on letting his guard down, but something in his gut tells him he can trust the man.</p><p> </p><p>They are deep into the city now, and the crumbling buildings standing tall on either side of the street make Dean feel claustrophobic. He knows these structures have been standing for two centuries, but there’s evidence of where they’ve been eroded or otherwise disrupted. Every time Dean is here he worries about them suddenly collapsing all around him. He shudders, and Blue notices but doesn’t say anything. They’re close enough now that Dean can see the hulking shape of the factory taking up most of the sky. The place has to be one of the tallest buildings around, if not the tallest. He tilts his head back to look up, but he can’t see the top of the building through the thick fog.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you ever been this close to it before?” Blue asks.</p><p> </p><p>Dean laughs, but it’s more like a loud exhale than a full laugh. “I’m not dumb. This place is always crawling with raiders. I’ve never been this close.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue chuckles at that. “This place gives me the creeps.” Dean is surprised to hear him say that. After all, he is living in it. “It’s almost all made of metal so it’s constantly creaking, and even though it’s huge, it almost feels claustrophobic inside. I wouldn’t be surprised if the place is haunted. It’s a relic from an older age. Feels wrong to be tramping around in it.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what feels wrong about this?”</p><p> </p><p>The older man chuckles again. “You have a point there. I just mean it’s weird to be in a place that has such an unknown history. There are even old skeletons in the basement. Fucking creepy, I’m telling you. I’ll be glad when we leave, though that won’t be for a while.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean has so many questions, but he’s not sure what he’s allowed to ask. “How long will we be staying here?”</p><p> </p><p>“To be determined. It is only temporary though. We aren’t all one big, happy family. There are a lot of different raider groups joined together at the moment. The alliance is tenuous to say the least,” he grimaces. “The Boss is the leader of the entire group as you’ve probably guessed. He’s the leader because he has the biggest garrison following him.” He turns to meet Dean’s eyes. “Stay away from him…” Dean shivers at the implied threat and looks forward to see if he can pick out the man from earlier out of the group of raiders. He can’t see him among the rest of the group. “I lead a decent sized garrison. Some members come and go, but I have my core group of people I can count on to not stab me in the back. There are five other garrisons as well, and the leaders of each meet with the Boss to make decisions.” He laughs again suddenly. “I shouldn’t be telling you any of this. There’s something about you, kid… has me breaking all of my rules.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not a kid,” Dean says bitterly. “I’m eighteen.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, a kid…” Blue smirks, and Dean rolls his eyes. “Alright, we’re here. Home crappy home.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean tries to control his breathing. He’s managed to hold off his panic this far; he’s not going to break now. They head up the ramp to the property, and Dean counts five guards outside and a turret gun. Turrets are basically high powered, automated machine guns. They have sensors equipped to tell the difference between those they’re built to defend and those perceived to be enemies.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Gordon,” one of the guards greets one of the men in their group. “Find anyone good.”</p><p> </p><p>“One pretty farm boy,” The man who must be Gordon replies. Dean stiffens. “Don’t get your hopes up though, the Captain’s already claimed him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ignore them,” Blue whispers. “Nobody would dare touch you while you’re with me.” That doesn’t make Dean feel any better.</p><p> </p><p>They walk through the double doors with the rest of the men. The inside is not what Dean was expecting it to be. There are old cars on display. He assumes this must’ve been an old car factory. He knows what cars are because their broken shells litter the old roads, but nobody drives them anymore. The only way to travel in the Wasteland is on foot.</p><p> </p><p>After passing through what must’ve been an old waiting room or lobby, they head into a narrow hallway. There’s water on the floor and wires hanging from the ceiling. Dean can tell why Blue considers this place creepy. He hopes wherever they’ll be staying is somewhat nicer than this. They head down a flight of stairs into an area that branches off in multiple directions. There’s an elevator with a blinking light, so it must still be functioning even after two hundred years. There are also some lights on around the place. It makes sense they’d have some sort of electricity in a building this huge. Some of the men head off towards another set of double doors while others head down another flight of stairs off to the right. Dean waits for Blue to lead the way. He follows him in the third direction, up a flight of stairs. They walk down a short hallway and reach a door. Blue pulls out a key, unlocks it, and motions for Dean to go inside.</p><p> </p><p>He’s not sure what he was expecting, but this isn’t it. Inside the room is what appears to be a kitchen set up with old appliances and a real table and chairs. Dean turns around to take in the rest of the room. There’s a black box that he doesn’t know the purpose of and a cooking station in the center of the room, which means the old appliances probably don’t work. That makes sense. It’s one thing to be able to supply electricity to existing unbroken power lines, but to expect two hundred year old appliances to still be functional would be crazy. There’s also a door leading to another room. Dean walks over to it and looks inside to see a bathroom and then further along a small hallway is a bedroom. He stops when he notices there’s only one bed. Fuck.</p><p> </p><p>Blue speaks from right behind him, causing him to jump again. “There’s only the one bed, I’m sorry. I can ask around tomorrow to see if we have any extra mattresses, but I doubt it. We’re almost full to capacity here already, and I’m pretty sure a lot of the guys downstairs don’t even get beds.” Dean can feel himself tense. It’s one thing to be a prisoner in this place, but it hadn’t even crossed his mind that he might be used for sexual purposes. He steps further into the room and turns around to face the older man. “Kid, I promise I’m not going to get handsy with you. You’re safe here. I mean that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not a kid,” Dean says again, without much force this time.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you haven’t exactly given me a name to work with.”</p><p> </p><p>At this point Dean is exhausted, and all he wants to do is sleep. He takes off his leather jacket and his shoes and looks expectantly up at the other man. Blue drops the gun he’s holding and pulls out another one that was hidden in his clothes. He looks pointedly at Dean, “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid like shoot me in the middle of the night.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue nods and lays the guns on the table. He begins removing his various pieces of armor. Raider armor is designed to give a bit of protection while not being too bulky to prohibit movement. He then pulls off his own leather jacket and hangs it over the edge of one of the chairs. He holds Dean’s gaze while he pulls off his shirt. Dean tries not to stare, but he finds it impossible. The man is lean, but muscular at the same time. There’s a reserved sort of strength about him, and he wonders what it would feel like to be pinned down by those arms. <em>Woah, where did that come from?</em> He quickly looks away.</p><p> </p><p>“We have running water if you need to clean up or something,” Blue says hesitantly. Maybe he’s as uncomfortable about this arrangement as Dean is. That’s unlikely.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe later. I’m kinda tired.” Even though he’s exhausted he’s not sure he’ll be able to sleep. He’s never shared a bed with anyone but Sammy before. Even if he wasn’t scared shitless at the moment, he’d still feel weird sharing a bed with a stranger. Blue gets on the mattress and holds the blanket open in invitation. Dean can’t seem to make his feet move.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise I won’t bite.” Dean hesitantly gets under the blanket, and Blue turns off the light and faces away from him. Dean imitates him and stays completely motionless. He can tell they’re both still awake, but he doesn’t say anything. After what feels like an hour, he can hear Blue’s breathing even out, and he relaxes a bit. Now he finally has a moment to himself to start processing everything that just happened.</p><p> </p><p>He’s a prisoner. Granted, he’s a prisoner in a bed, in a room with working electricity and running water, with a captor who is trying to act like his new best friend, but he’s still a prisoner. The man next to him shifts a little in his sleep, and now their backs are pressed against each other. Dean stiffens at first, but then relaxes into the warmth. This building is almost entirely made of metal, and it is pretty cold in here even with the blanket. He’s not going to be picky about where he gets his warmth, that’s all it is. He closes his eyes and lets sleep take him. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean doesn’t have any idea how much time has passed when he wakes up since there are no windows in this room. He does notice that he’s alone. He stretches and gets up to turn on the light. That’s when he notices there’s a piece of paper left on the table next to a tray of food. He picks up the paper and struggles to read the note because it’s written in weird connected writing. After a moment of squinting at it, he finally makes out, “I had to step out for a bit. There’s food for you. Eat it. <span class="u">DO NOT</span> leave this room! Be back soon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bossy,” Dean mumbles. He won’t leave the room, even though he’s curious. He doesn’t want to run into any unfriendly raiders without Blue there. He also doesn’t want to do everything his captor says though. He doesn’t have much control in this situation, so he needs to keep what little bit he has. That means no food, despite how his stomach tries to protest.</p><p> </p><p>He does decide he wants to check out the bathroom situation. The Winchester farm obviously wasn’t big enough to have indoor plumbing. They used an outhouse as their bathroom and then either bathed in the river during the warmer months or had to heat up water to sponge bath in the colder months. He tries using the toilet first and is still surprised when it flushes even though Blue said they had working plumbing. After washing his hands in the sink, which also works, he goes to check out the bathtub. He turns the handle and is surprised when water comes out of a faucet higher up on the wall and not the one on the tub that he was expecting. He can’t figure out how to switch it, so he steps into the tub and under the spray. It’s not hot, but it’s warmer than he was expecting it to be. He realizes he hadn’t asked if he could use the soap, but he figures if there’d been a problem with that, Blue would’ve said something.</p><p> </p><p>After he dries off and gets dressed, he heads back out to the main room and sees Blue sitting on one of the chairs at the table. “Morning. I see you haven’t eaten.”</p><p> </p><p>“I did bathe though.” Dean slowly walks towards the table and sits at the other chair. “I couldn’t get it working right. It came out of the faucet on the wall instead of on the tub. It felt kind of nice though, like standing in the rain.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue tilts his head and squints at him. “You’ve never taken a shower?” Dean blushes. The way he phrased the question is like he thinks he’s stupid.</p><p> </p><p>“We didn’t have running water at the farm.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Blue pauses like it never occurred to him that Dean wouldn’t know about the wonders of indoor plumbing. “Well, that functions as both a shower and a bath depending on which handle you use to turn it on. I personally prefer showers myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Does this entire place have running water and electricity?”</p><p> </p><p>Blue shakes his head. “No, that’s one of the perks of being in charge.” For a moment there, Dean had forgotten he was sitting with the leader of an entire garrison of raiders. His guard immediately goes back up. He can’t let this guy work his way past his defenses just because he lets him share his soap and has nice eyes. “Did you not read my note?”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Nice one, Dean. He already thinks you’re an idiot for not knowing what a shower is.</p><p> </p><p>Blue points to the piece of paper and stares pointedly at him. “You didn’t eat.”</p><p> </p><p>“I did stay in the room though,” Dean smirks.</p><p> </p><p>The other man’s face goes hard like it was last night when he’d first claimed him in front of the others. “I noticed. Otherwise when I was walking back to the room I would’ve heard the other guys boasting about how many of them got to take a turn with you.” Dean shudders. “I’m serious. You are not to leave this room without me, do you understand?”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I got it!”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.” His face relaxes again. “Now eat.” Dean rolls his eyes, but he’s hungry enough not to care about the earlier reasoning for his hunger strike. Just as he’s about to take a bite, there’s a knock at the door. “Who is it?” Blue asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Meg.” Dean remembers hearing her voice from the first time he’d run into the raiders.</p><p> </p><p>“Come in.”</p><p> </p><p>The door opens to reveal a young woman with dark brown hair. Dean doesn’t know why it’s so surprising to him how normal some of these raiders look. After all, they’re just people. Though the stories John would tell him and Sam made them seem like monsters.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, Clarence, Gordon told me you picked up a stray, but I didn’t believe him.” Meg steps into the room and closes the door. Dean squints in confusion. Clarence? Maybe Blue is just a nickname. “Oh, he’s cute.” His squint turns into a glare.</p><p> </p><p>“Leave him alone,” the other man looks apologetically towards Dean. “I assume you’re here to do more than annoy us. What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you want me to? You know, with him here?” Meg looks towards Dean pointedly.</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s not mission-based then it’s fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Meg hesitates for a moment before saying, “Alright then. There was an incident in the basement dormitories. Apparently some of the recruits were fighting over food rations.” Dean tries to disguise his laugh as a cough, but he can see that even Meg had a hard time saying that with a straight face.</p><p> </p><p>“Fucking children.” Blue rolls his eyes. “Why is this an issue? Let them fight over it if they want to as long as they don’t kill each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was going to, but the problem is they aren’t both our guys. One of them is with Al, and he’s throwing a hissy fit as usual.” Blue groans. “He wants to hold a tribunal.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. A tribunal over who ate too much dessert?” Meg just shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>“I rushed to come tell you because he’s on his way here to confront you about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue looks a bit nervous at that and glances quickly over to Dean. “He’s not here to confront me about some recruits fighting over rations. He wants him.” Now it’s Dean’s turn to look scared. “I have to go before he gets here. Stay and watch him.” Meg nods. Blue quickly grabs his coat and pistol and runs out of the door, locking it behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Meg sits down on the now empty chair across from Dean and stares thoughtfully at him. He feels like a bug about to be stepped on with the way she’s looking at him. “What?” he finally says after he can’t take any more of the awkward silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, I’m just,” she sighs, “He’s never done this before so I’m trying to figure out why.”</p><p> </p><p>“Done what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Broken rank to claim responsibility for a new recruit. Or insisted that said recruit share his personal quarters instead of staying downstairs in the dormitories we specifically set aside for new recruits. It’s not like him.” Now Dean’s confused as well. Why would Blue go through so much effort for him? Especially since it looks like it’s gotten him in trouble with the Boss.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know him well?” Dean wonders if he can get Meg to reveal anything about his mysterious captor.</p><p> </p><p>“Me and Clarence? We go way back.” Meg studies him for a bit as if she’s trying to figure out how much to tell him. “I ran into him a few years ago. At the time I was… lost. Doing way too many chems, living day to day. I was out on my own and got jumped by a pack of ferals. I was so high I could barely move. I thought for sure I was a goner, and then he just came out of nowhere! Must’ve killed about ten of them all by himself.” Dean’s eyes go wide. “After that he helped me get clean, and the two of us started running together. Then the rest was history, as the saying goes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow.” He doesn’t really know what to say. “That’s intense.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s an intense guy,” Meg chuckles. “But I’m only telling you that cause it’s about me. I ain’t gonna spill any of his dirty secrets.” She looks pointedly at Dean, and he blushes at being caught. “I know you probably have a million questions for him, and to be honest he probably won’t answer any of them, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.”</p><p> </p><p>They sit in silence for a few moments while Dean eats. He’s not exactly sure what he’s eating, but he figures Blue wouldn’t go through the trouble of poisoning him when he could’ve easily killed him multiple times already. Meg never stops staring at him, and frankly, it’s getting uncomfortable. “What?” Dean hisses after looking up for the fifth time to see her still staring at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, sorry,” she scratches the back of her neck awkwardly. “I just feel weird about this whole situation.”</p><p> </p><p>“YOU feel weird?”</p><p> </p><p>Meg chuckles lightly. “Touché.”</p><p> </p><p>Before things have time to get awkward again, they can hear a key turning in the lock. Blue opens the door and steps inside looking furious.</p><p> </p><p>“That bad, huh?” Meg says as she gets up and offers him her seat.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this.” Blue sits down and puts his head in his hands. “I know he’s trying to rile me up and push me into breaking the alliance, but at this point I’m questioning why we’re even here in the first place.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know why,” Meg leans over the chair and gives him a hug. Dean feels like he’s intruding on a private moment between the two of them. He’d figured the they were close from how Meg talked about him, but seeing them together right now, it’s clear they’re more than friends. Dean’s not sure why that revelation stings a bit. It also confuses him though. If Blue is with Meg, why is he sharing his private quarters with Dean? <em>Oh God</em>, maybe that's why Meg wouldn't stop staring at him. “I know it’s hard," Meg continues, "but don’t let him get to you. We won’t have to be here for too much longer, and then we can leave.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue rubs his hand across his face and then sits up straight. He looks worn out but more focused than when he first entered the room. He squeezes Meg’s hand and says, “You’re right. I’m just tired of being in the same vicinity as that dick.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s only temporary,” Meg reminds him, and he nods. After a few moments of silence, she rubs her hands together and says she has to get back to work. Blue gives her a parting wave but doesn’t say anything. She gives Dean an indecipherable look before leaving and locking the door. </p><p> </p><p>Blue gets up to grab some food for himself out of the cabinet and then sits back down at the table. He looks directly at Dean for the first time since coming back into the room as if he’s just now remembering he’s there. “Sorry about all of that. That was probably confusing for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean scoffs. “Everything that’s happening right now is confusing.”</p><p> </p><p>The older man almost smiles at that. “I’m sorry for that too. I’m trying to get the situation under control, but things are a bit tense at the moment between me and the Boss. He’s used to getting whatever he wants so standing up to him yesterday was a risky move on my part even though I had leverage.” Dean thinks back to what Meg had said earlier about this being out of character for Blue, and he wonders why the man would bother taking a risk like that for him.</p><p> </p><p>“So why stand up against him in the first place?”</p><p> </p><p>Blue turns to glare at him, and it’s the same anger he saw in his eyes when he was initially being kidnapped. Dean shrinks back into the chair a bit. “Because I didn’t want to have to listen to him boast about torturing a kid every time I saw him.” Dean isn’t sure what emotions are showing on his face at the moment, but whatever Blue sees there causes him to crumple. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to scare you. I just have this fear that you’re going to go running off the first chance you get, and I want you to know that won’t end well.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean looks at the food in front of him before he takes another bite. He hopes the guilt doesn’t show on his face because that was his original plan. Now he’s not so sure. He hasn’t been let out of this room since he got here last night, and even though he’s incredibly stealthy, he doesn’t think it’d be possible for him to get out of the factory undetected.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to run.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not?” Blue’s tone shows he doesn’t believe him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious,” Dean looks straight at him to show he isn’t lying. “I’m not an idiot. I know there’s no way out of here for me, and even if I did miraculously make it out of here, you know where my farm is.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a good point.” Blue leans back in his chair. “It’s hard for me to trust you though because you always have that look on your face like you’re about to do something stupid.” Dean glares at him. “Yeah, that one.”</p><p> </p><p>This is ridiculous. Blue can’t trust <em>him</em>? That’s not how a hostage situation is supposed to work. If anything, he’s the one who should be having trust issues here. “Clarence…” he tests the name out, and the older man looks up at him. “I’m not going to do anything stupid, but I need you to do something for me. I’m trying to trust you a bit here, but I can’t until you promise me this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t say for sure I’ll be able to promise whatever it is, but you can ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can you promise me that you’ll keep them from going after my brother?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll try my best. Honestly, he’s too young for our purposes, so they’ll probably leave him alone anyways.” Dean looks down figuring that’s the best answer he can hope for, but the other man continues, “My name isn’t Clarence. That’s just something Meg calls me.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean looks up at him again. “Then what is your name?”</p><p> </p><p>The man stares at him for a moment, and Dean fights the urge to look away. His eyes are so intense when they’re staring right at him like that. “What’s yours?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean rolls his eyes. “I asked first.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue continues to study him for a moment and finally says, “You can call me Captain like the other recruits do.”</p><p> </p><p><em>So, this is the game they’re playing</em>. Dean remembers what Meg told him earlier. “If I’m just another recruit, why am I up here instead of in the basement dormitories?” He plasters a smug look on his face, but he hopes Blue can’t see through his bluff. He’s terrified of the possibility that he’ll be sent to stay with the other recruits, but he wants Blue to be forced to share why he’s breaking his usual rules for him.</p><p> </p><p>“If these living arrangements aren’t up to your standards, I can arrange to have you move down there, but I think you’ll find they are more hostile company than I am.” Blue raises his eyebrows in a challenge. Fuck, he can tell Dean is bluffing.</p><p> </p><p>Dean holds eye contact with him for a few dizzying seconds before he gives up. “No, it’s fine,” He says after breaking his eyes away, “I guess I’ll have to make do with you.” Blue has a smug look on his face, and Dean fights the urge to stick his tongue out at him.</p><p> </p><p>There’s another knock on the door, and Blue groans. "I swear, I can't get a second of peace around here," he mumbles quietly to himself and then raises his voice loudly enough to be heard through the door, “Who is it?” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s Ruby, Captain.” Blue gets up and walks over to the door. He opens it, and Dean sees another woman with dark hair like Meg, but Ruby looks to be a bit younger. He remembers hearing her name when he first encountered the raiders while hiding out in the hospital and wonders if that makes her one of the raiders closer to Blue.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?” Blue crosses his arms over his chest and makes no move to get out of the doorway to let Ruby in. Alright, maybe they aren’t close.</p><p> </p><p>“Boss is calling a meeting of all the Captains this evening at eight. There are also a few things I need your help with before then," she says quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be right out,” Blue sighs, and Ruby nods and closes the door. He turns around to face Dean. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. There are some books to read if you want and more food in the cabinets. I’ll likely not be back until late this evening.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean knows he shouldn’t complain, but he’s frustrated at being left in this windowless room for hours on end. Then again, at least he has a place where he doesn’t have to be constantly ogled, or worse, by other raiders. “I’ll stay in the room,” he mumbles, resigned.</p><p> </p><p>Blue looks at him for a moment longer, then simply says, “Good,” and leaves without looking back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this was a bit of a slow chapter. Next chapter will be in Castiel's POV so we can start seeing what he's thinking</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally we get to see a bit from Castiel's POV</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel heads downstairs with Ruby by his side. She’s a newer addition to the garrison, and he’s still not sure how much he can trust her. Meg seems to believe that Ruby is loyal to them, and she tends to be a good judge of character. It’s hard for Castiel to trust anyone though. Well, anyone apart from Meg. The only reason he’s survived this long is because he lives with the motto that he can’t trust anyone but himself. He’s been betrayed too many times in the past. It’s not worth it. Trust has to be earned, it can’t be freely given.</p><p> </p><p>Ruby seems trustworthy, but she’s only been running with them for about half a year. That’s not nearly enough time for Castiel to get an accurate read on her. Right now it’s even harder for him to trust people since they’re surrounded by so many different raider factions. There’s a lot of crossover between the different groups. Some members used to know each other from before, or they were members of one group before switching to another. Even though each garrison works independently and has its own rules, there still is a general sense of comradery between the different groups.</p><p> </p><p>The same can’t be said for Castiel’s garrison, since they function differently than most raiders. This leads the other groups to be more suspicious of him and, in turn, for him to be more suspicious of them. If Castiel had his way, he’d love to lock himself in his quarters and stay there until it was time for their mission. Unfortunately, there is a lot of business to take care of before then.</p><p> </p><p>Once they reach the main floor, Castiel asks, “So what did you need my help with?”</p><p> </p><p>Ruby hesitates. “Can we go somewhere more private?”</p><p> </p><p>That can’t be good. “Where would you suggest?”</p><p> </p><p>“My post where I’m assigned to keep guard is pretty secluded. It’s outside.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel motions for her to lead the way. They walk through the main area of the factory where people hundreds of years ago worked on manufacturing cars. There are staircases and walkways made of steel that lead to the room that they use for their command center. It has a good vantage point of the entire area as well as a few working computers that they use to control the turrets. There’s really no reason to have working turrets inside of the building, but raiders are a suspicious bunch. In the unlikely case of one of the garrisons trying to mount an attack on the rest of them, the command center would give the leaders a place to defend themselves. The command center is also where they hold all of their meetings and where Castiel will meet with the Boss and the other captains this evening. He hates these meetings, but it is better to be included and know what’s happening than to be left in the dark.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel follows Ruby towards the double doors that exit onto the roof of the main building. Outside, there’s a whole new level of protection. There are dozens of staircases that weave around a few of the taller factory towers like a spider web of metal. Castiel looks up to try and see where the staircases end, but he can’t make it out from this angle. The view from up there must be incredible! He vows to himself that he’ll find some time to sneak up there before they have to leave the factory.</p><p> </p><p>Ruby doesn’t walk towards the stairs, but she heads towards what looks like a shed on the roof. Castiel knows it’s actually a covered walkway that connects this side of the roof to the side across the street. They have it set up this way so they can post guards on both sides of the street as well as have some guards on the ground level and some up on the roof for maximum security. It’s not like they need this much security — nobody with half a brain would try and ambush them at Corvega — but this gives the recruits something to do while they wait.</p><p> </p><p>Ruby types in a code on the computer terminal, and the doors to the shed open. She holds the door for Castiel, and he lets it close behind him. There are a few other guards in here that glance up at them as they walk past, but nobody pays them too much attention. He recognizes a couple of them, but there are also faces he doesn’t recognize.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m stationed over here,” Ruby says and points to another computer terminal on a desk. The desk faces a window that overlooks the street. She sits down at the desk and motions for Castiel to sit in the other chair. Castiel turns to look back at the other men, but they’ve gone back to whatever they were doing before and aren’t paying them any attention.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you do here?” Castiel asks her quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“I mostly keep lookout, and I control the spotlights and turrets that aim down at the street. I also communicate with the people who control the ground level turrets. It’s not like we ever need to use them, but it’s something to do I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel waits a moment before asking, “What’s going on, Ruby?”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s been some talk, Captain,” she starts hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes, because he immediately knows what she means. He’s been worried about this happening. “Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“Gordon and Zachariah,” she says quietly, “I saw them talking to the Boss the other day. They didn’t see me, and I didn’t want to get caught. I heard them say something about being tired of following orders from you because you’re turning into a pussy.”</p><p> </p><p>“If we weren’t hurting for numbers, I’d drop them in a heartbeat. I’ve never trusted either of them—”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not all, Captain,” Ruby interrupts. “The Boss said that he’ll let them join his crew if they bring him that kid you took.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel pales. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s all I heard. I didn’t want to risk getting caught, but it sounds like the Boss wants him bad.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ruby, you’re telling the truth about all of this, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, sir.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks out across the street and tries to slow his brain down enough to think. He cannot stand by while two of the ranked members of his garrison plot to undermine him. This is why he can’t trust anyone out here. He normally wouldn’t trust Ruby, but he’s seen the way Gordon and Zach have looked at him recently. He could tell they were starting to resent being ordered around by him and knew it would only be a matter of time before they went their own ways. What he didn’t plan for was that Alistair would try and use them to do his own dirty work.</p><p> </p><p>There’s only one thing to do. He has to eliminate their threat, which means eliminating them. Castiel looks up at Ruby to see that she’s tensed up like she’s waiting for him to yell at her or something. He wonders what emotions are playing across his face right now. “Ruby, which of our recruits do you think we can trust?”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a guy named Benny who seems trustworthy. He joined up with us a few months ago, and from what I can tell, he’s mostly here because he needs the money for some reason not because he takes pleasure in cracking skulls.”</p><p> </p><p>“Benny,” Castiel says slowly. He vaguely recognizes the name, but he normally doesn’t take time to get to know the new recruits until they’ve been fully initiated. “Anyone else?”</p><p> </p><p>“Benny joined up with a guy named Garth. He’s built like a twig, but he’s actually really smart and capable.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright here’s what you’re going to do,” he drops his voice down into a whisper, and Ruby leans closer so she can hear him. “Go grab the two of them and meet me and Meg in my quarters. Move quickly, but don’t draw attention to yourself.” She nods and gets up to leave. Castiel takes one last look at the other raiders in the room with them and hopes they didn’t hear anything important from that exchange. He’s not even sure which garrison they belong to.</p><p> </p><p>He rushes back to the main building as quickly as he can. They need to take care of this situation right now. He’s unsure when Gordon and Zachariah are planning to carry out this mutiny, but it’ll probably be sooner rather than later. Castiel curses himself for not posting a guard outside of his door and hopes they haven’t already come for the kid. He’s only been gone for about an hour, but if they’d been watching him, they would’ve had enough time to take the kid to Alistair.</p><p> </p><p><em>No</em>. Castiel isn’t going to think about that. He’s not going to think about what would happen if Alistair got the kid alone.</p><p> </p><p>He almost runs headlong into Meg as he turns the corner to head up the stairs towards his quarters. “Woah, Clarence, where’s the fire?” She asks, startled.</p><p> </p><p>“Come with me, now,” Castiel says in a voice that leaves no room for discussion. Meg follows instantly. She knows him well enough to know that whatever is happening is serious. They get up to his door, and Castiel is relieved to find it’s still locked. He opens it and sees that his companion is sleeping on the couch. Well he <em>was</em> sleeping. When Castiel all but crashed through the door in his hurry to get inside, he’d startled the young man awake.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?” the kid asks groggily while he moves to sit up.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel closes the door and leans up against it. He ignores the kid and turns to Meg. “Gordon and Zach are working against us. Ruby just told me.”</p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t look surprised. “I figured it was only a matter of time.”</p><p> </p><p>“You trust Ruby?” he asks her.</p><p> </p><p>“With my life,” Meg replies, and Castiel nods. That’s good enough for him. He trusts her judgement.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Castiel calls out even though he’s pretty sure of the answer.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s me, Captain,” Ruby replies. He opens up the door and motions for her and the two men beside her to come in. One is a big, burly guy and the other is tall and thin. Based on how Ruby described them, he guesses the thin one is Garth and the more muscular one is Benny. Ruby introduces them, and it turns out Castiel was right in his assumption. He shakes both of their hands and then motions towards the various seats in the room. Everyone sits, but he and Meg remain standing.</p><p> </p><p>“Ruby brought to my attention that two of my higher-ups are plotting against us. That can’t be tolerated. Are you two ready to go on your first run?” Benny and Garth exchange a look and then both nod. “Good. After this mission, you can consider yourself promoted to take over Gordon’s and Zachariah’s positions.” The two of them raise their eyebrows at that. This isn’t how raiders normally give out promotions, but there’s nothing normal about the way Castiel runs his garrison. “Here’s how it’s going to work. Meg, Ruby, and I are going to take Gordon and Zach on a supply run. We’ve done this dozens of times, so I’m sure they won’t suspect anything. Once we get them away from the factory, I’ll confront them. When it’s confirmed that they were planning a mutiny, one of you is going to take them out.” He looks over at Garth and Benny. “Which one of you is a better sniper?”</p><p> </p><p>Garth raises his hand, “That’d be me, Captain.”</p><p> </p><p>Benny agrees, “He never misses a shot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect,” Castiel nods. “Alright I’m going to have you head out beforehand to take a place on the top floor of the apartment building close to the factory. You know the one, right?” Garth nods. “I’ll confront them in front of the Red Rocket gas station across the street from that apartment building. That should give you a clear angle on them. You really only need to take out one of them, and we can handle the other.” Castiel finally glances over at the kid, and he can see that his green eyes are wide in fear. “Benny, I’m going to have you stay in here to watch over him while we’re gone, just in case.” Benny looks confused, but he doesn’t question it. “The rest of you, go get Gordon and Zach and prepare for the run. We leave in an hour.”</p><p> </p><p>After all of the raiders except for Benny leave the room, Castiel closes the door behind them and locks it. He motions for the kid to follow him and walks into the bedroom. He sees Benny move one of the chairs next to the door and sit down. It looks like he’s going to take his guard duty seriously, which makes Castiel relax slightly. He wants to make sure the kid is safe while they go on their run.</p><p> </p><p>He closes the door to the bedroom once they’re both inside, and the young man looks up at him curiously. “What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“As I said to them, two of the higher ranked members of my garrison are working against us,” Castiel knows his face must betray his anger, because the kid takes a couple small steps away from him in fear. “Apparently they’ve grown tired with the way I choose to run my garrison, and Alistair offered them a place in his garrison if they brought you to him.”</p><p> </p><p>The young man goes pale. “Al-Alistair?” he asks shakily.</p><p> </p><p>“Alistair is the Boss. He seems to have taken quite an interest in you, and I apologize for that. I think when I claimed you, I must’ve put a target on your back. Alistair doesn’t like being told no, and I fear he wants you now simply for the fact that he cannot have you.” The kid goes even whiter, and Castiel wouldn’t have thought that possible. He was already as pale as a ghost.</p><p> </p><p>“Alistair is here?” he whispers, and his knees give out. Castiel is able to catch him before he falls, and he supports the young man under his arms as he moves him back gently to sit down on the bed. Castiel has never seen him this scared before, not even on the night they took him from his family and crying brother. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s not going to get to you, I promise.” The young man looks… broken is the only way Castiel would know how to describe it. This is a stronger reaction than the other times Castiel had hinted at Alistair’s threat. He realizes that the kid hadn’t reacted this way until he’d mentioned Alistair by name. He must know him somehow. “How do you know Alistair?” Castiel doesn’t know if he wants to know the answer to that question, but he <em>needs</em> to know. Every instinct he has is telling him to protect this kid, and if he’s going to even attempt to do that, he needs to know why he’s reacting this way.</p><p> </p><p>The other man stays silent, his eyes staring far away and not seeing anything. Without thinking, Castiel slowly reaches forward and cradles his face in his hands. That gets his attention, and their eyes meet. Castiel is once again taken aback by how green his eyes are.</p><p> </p><p>“Please talk to me,” Castiel pleads.</p><p> </p><p>“Alistair kidnapped my mother,” he whispers. “He took her and swore he’d come back for me and Sam one day. It was fourteen years ago. I was four, and Sammy was a baby.” Castiel sees tears brimming in the young man’s eyes, and he gently wipes them away when they fall. He knows he probably shouldn’t still be holding the kid’s face in between his hands, but he can’t let go for some reason.</p><p> </p><p><em>Wait a minute</em>. Castiel had initially joined Alistair’s raiding group around ten years ago and ran with him for a couple years before he left to start his own garrison. Back then Alistair shared his bed with a woman he referred to as his wife. He mostly kept her locked away in his room, but occasionally she would be let out with the rest of their group. Castiel knew he treated her awfully; he beat her, raped her, and kept her isolated without food if she did something to displease him. Castiel made an effort to talk to her, because the other raiders in the group ignored her for the most part. He’d sneak her food and water and helped take care of her wounds after Alistair beat her. Eventually they became pretty good friends. At that time, Castiel was basically a prisoner himself. He had nowhere else to go. At least with Alistair he was guaranteed food and a roof over his head. He and Mary bonded and grew to trust each other. She told him about how she’d been kidnapped and how Alistair threatened that he’d take her two boys if she ever tried to run away.</p><p> </p><p>One day Castiel woke up to find Mary hanging from the wall where Alistair would string up his enemies as a warning to passing groups. Apparently Mary couldn’t take the abuse anymore, and she’d tried to run. They caught her, and Alistair killed her. That same day, Castiel left Alistair’s garrison to take off on his own. The only reason Alistair didn’t send people after him is because he knew he’d never be able to beat Castiel in a fight.</p><p> </p><p>He stares into those beautiful green eyes that are full of unshed tears. Mary’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?” he gasps.</p><p> </p><p>The man across from him jumps. “H-how do you know my name?”</p><p> </p><p>“I knew your mother.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next chapter will also be in Castiel's POV. I also want to clarify that Castiel didn't have a romantic relationship with Mary, they were just friends.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter! I was moving out of my apartment, so things were a bit crazy for a while. I made this chapter a bit longer to make up for it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel watches as emotions play across Dean’s face in the seconds following his confession. Confusion, then grief, and finally settling on anger. Castiel lets go of Dean’s face and takes a couple steps back to give him room.</p><p> </p><p>“You knew my mother?” Dean asks quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Castiel starts, “We became friends after I joined up with Alistair’s group. I tried—"</p><p> </p><p>Dean throws up his hand, interrupting him. “Stop talking.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dean…”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you have a mission to get ready for?” Dean glares at him with barely contained fury. Castiel knows there’s no point in trying to explain his relationship with Mary right now, so he just nods and leaves the bedroom. Dean slams the door shut behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel puts on his armor and grabs the various weapons he’ll need for the run. When he moves to leave his quarters, Benny gives him a sympathetic look. He must’ve been able to hear Dean yelling at him. That's not surprising because he was yelling pretty loud. “Don’t let him leave,” he whispers, and Benny nods.</p><p> </p><p>He walks downstairs heading to the main floor. He never specified where they should meet up, but he figures he’ll be able to find the rest of his group on the main floor. He walks down a dark hallway before coming to the big kitchen that the rest of the raiders use. Only the Captains of each garrison have their own private quarters. Everyone else sleeps in the basement and has to use this communal kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>First he spots Meg sitting down at one of the tables, and when she stands up, the rest of the group follows. They’re all here except for Garth who is probably already making his way to the apartments to get set up. Castiel is happy to see that Gordon and Zach seem to have no clue what’s about to happen. They both look excited to go on a raid.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright are we ready to go kill some ferals?” Castiel raises his voice to hype up his group, and the rest of them whoop in excitement. “Let’s go!”</p><p> </p><p>They head for the main entrance to the Corvega Plant, and Castiel nods at the guards on duty. Nobody thinks anything of a group of five raiders heading out for a run, so they’re able to pass without having to answer any questions. When they get outside, Castiel is blinded by the brightness of the sun. It’s been a while since he’s been outside during the day. He’s spent the majority of the past couple weeks inside the factory where there are no windows, and they’d raided Dean’s farm during the night. It takes a few seconds for his eyes to adjust.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay guys,” Castiel starts, “We’re going to the Red Rocket truck stop today. I’m not sure if we’ll find anything, but we might as well check it out.” He can hear Zachariah snort behind him. “Unless you want to go back inside and be stuck on guard duty.”</p><p> </p><p>“No sir,” Zach replies hesitantly. Castiel can tell that he’s completely lost their respect, and he wonders how he didn’t notice it sooner. He had his usual suspicions that go hand in hand with his inability to trust anyone apart from Meg, but he’s still concerned that he hadn’t noticed their allegiance switching earlier. If it hadn’t been for Ruby, they probably would’ve been able to succeed in their plan to kidnap Dean and serve him up to Alistair. Castiel shudders at the thought. With the new revelation that his captive is none other than Dean Winchester, the son of Alistair’s first pet project, it’s no surprise why he’s become so obsessed with getting his hands on him. Even if they’re able to take out Gordon and Zachariah, Castiel is still going to have to keep a watchful eye on Dean. Alistair isn’t the kind of man to give up easily when he wants something.</p><p> </p><p>They walk about one hundred yards before they’re out from under the hulking frame of the factory. Castiel takes the lead with Meg and Ruby flanking him. Gordon and Zachariah follow closely behind. They’ve gone on dozens of raids like this, but obviously this time is different. They pass by the apartment building that he knows Garth is hiding in. He doesn’t look up at the empty windows because he doesn’t want to draw attention to him. Castiel just hopes that Garth is already in position.</p><p> </p><p>They get to the Red Rocket a few minutes later. These pre-war gas stations often still have salvageable materials scattered around if you know where to look. Of course they already scavenged everything valuable from this spot when they checked it out a couple weeks ago. Castiel nods at Meg to signal that it’s time, and she and Ruby go stand to block the alley so the other men can’t escape.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk.” Castiel turns around to face Zachariah and Gordon. They look at each other in confusion and then look back at him.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on here?” Zachariah asks.</p><p> </p><p>“I heard that you two idiots have been plotting to join Alistair’s garrison behind my back.” Castiel’s gaze is steely as he looks back and forth between the two men. They both look scared but not shocked or outraged at the accusation. That’s all the proof he needs to know that Ruby was telling the truth.</p><p> </p><p>“W-what are you talking about?” Gordon’s voice shakes, but Castiel can tell he’s trying to keep it steady.</p><p> </p><p>“A little trade.” Castiel steps slowly towards Gordon. “Alistair lets you join his crew if you bring him the recruit I claimed.” Gordon tries to look down at the ground to avoid his eye contact, but Castiel roughly grabs his chin and forces him to look at him. “I already know the truth, Gordon, I just want to hear you admit it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine!” Gordon slaps his hand away, “It’s true.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel nods. “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because we’re tired of taking orders from a pussy,” Zachariah speaks out from the other end of the room. “You walk around here like you own the place. I’ve been a raider longer than you’ve been alive. I deserve to be in command.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel laughs at that. “Now I know you haven’t been a raider <em>that</em> long, Zach.” They have no clue how old he actually is.</p><p> </p><p>“Who gave you the right?” Gordon interrupts. “You get the nicest digs, and then you claim that little bitch to warm your bed at night.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel moves faster than Gordon has a chance to respond and shoves him up against the wall. “Nobody gave me the right,” he moves his arm so it’s pressed against Gordon’s throat, cutting off his oxygen. “I took it.”</p><p> </p><p>Zachariah raises his gun to Castiel’s head. “Let him go.”</p><p> </p><p>Before Castiel has a chance to release Gordon, he hears a gunshot, and Zachariah drops. Garth’s timing is impeccable, and his aim is true. Gordon’s eyes widen, and Castiel uses that moment to bash his head against the wall. Gordon grunts in pain, but he doesn’t black out. He grabs Gordon by the straps of his armor and throws him onto the ground. Then he pulls out his pistol and points it at Gordon’s face. Meg runs over to Zachariah’s body to make sure he’s dead. She kicks his gun away and checks for a pulse. After a minute or so, she nods at Castiel. One down, one to go.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, Captain,” Gordon whimpers. “I’m sorry. Give me another chance.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were asking how I got to be in charge of this garrison.” Castiel cocks his gun and puts his finger on the trigger. “How I got the right to the ‘nicest digs’ and how I have the power to bark out orders and expect my recruits to obey.” He sees tears brimming in Gordon’s eyes, and they begin to spill over. He must know he’s about to die. “It’s because I never give anyone a second chance to cross me.” Before Gordon can reply, Castiel shoots him right in between the eyes, killing him instantly. Meg and Ruby turn away, but Castiel doesn’t. He feels like there’s ice flowing through his veins, just like every other time he’s had to kill someone. It’s like another part of him takes over, and he doesn’t feel any guilt and remorse. Compartmentalizing is the only way he’s been able to survive this long.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright,” he claps loudly to get the girls’ attentions. “Let’s clean this shit up before the smell attracts any ghouls.” It takes them most of the afternoon to clean up the bodies. They didn’t want to waste the time or energy it would take to bury the two of them, but they also couldn’t leave them lying around. Ghouls are dumb, but they have incredible senses of smell. It’s how they’re able to track down corpses to feed on them.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as he’d made the shot, Garth had come running to see if they needed any more backup. By the time he’d met back up with them, Gordon was already dead. The mission went about as smoothly as Castiel could’ve hoped for. He knew it would be alright since they had the numbers to overwhelm Zachariah and Gordon, but there were still things that could’ve gone wrong. All four of them were grateful nothing had.</p><p> </p><p>They end up stuffing the two bodies into the back closet of the gas station. There’s a lock on the door that Castiel has to pick in order to shove them in. It’s good they managed to find a place they could put the bodies behind a closed door because that would make it less likely for ferals to find them. By the time they make their way back to Corvega, Castiel can see the sun starting to set. He has to admit that the Wasteland is strangely beautiful whenever the sun goes down. The oranges and yellows stand out against the broken landscape, and it gives him hope that beauty can still be found even in these dangerous times.</p><p> </p><p>When they get back to the factory, the others head to the basement with instructions from Castiel to not talk about what happened to anyone. Castiel is going to talk to Alistair himself, but there’s no reason for any of the other raiders to know. It could cause in-fighting between the different groups. He knows Zach and Gordon were close with members from other garrisons, and while there are no rules prohibiting the leader of a garrison from dispensing justice as they see fit, if people found out they’d been killed it could be a problem.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel wants to return to his quarters to eat and wait for the captain meeting that’s scheduled for the evening, but when he’s halfway up the stairs he realizes that might not be a good idea. Dean had been furious when he left this morning, so it might be best to give the young man some time to cool off. For a moment he resigns himself to eating in the common area with the rest of the recruits. He even begins to walk over there, but then he hears some of the men break into raucous laughter and decides he’s not going to subject himself to that. Besides, they're <em>his</em> quarters. He’s not going to avoid them just because he happens to be sharing them with a kid who hates him.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel heads back up the stairs to his door, and his hands are shaking. Not from nervousness, but from anger. He hadn’t realized it, but he <em>is</em> angry. Dean has no right to hate him, at least not for anything involving Mary. He hadn’t even given him a chance to explain himself. Dean didn’t know that Castiel had risked his safety and position to protect her. He didn’t know that Castiel had just done the same thing again to protect him. He takes a deep, cleansing breath and then unlocks the door. He’s not surprised to see that Benny is still sitting in the same chair and the door to his bedroom is still closed. He rolls his eyes and moves over to the cabinet to pull out some of that nasty boxed InstaMash. He turns on the cooking stove and fills up the pot with water from the sink. Then he opens up the box, pours the powder into the pot, and sits to wait for it to boil. He looks up at Benny who he notices is staring at him. He raises his eyebrows in an invitation for the burly man to ask whatever is on his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“How’d it go?” Benny asks.</p><p> </p><p>“About as good as could be expected,” Castiel starts. He stirs the InstaMash as it warms and tries his best not to miss real food. “Garth has impeccable aim.”</p><p> </p><p>“So it’s done then?” Benny asks hesitantly. Before Castiel can answer, he hears quiet footsteps from the other side of the bedroom door. He tries to hide his smile from Benny. Obviously Dean is trying to be stealthy about eavesdropping, but with metal floors throughout the whole factory, it’s easy to hear everything.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes it’s done.” Castiel rubs the bridge of his nose as if he can physically push away the headache that’s been building ever since he killed Gordon. He doesn’t like having to kill people. It’s not something he takes joy from. He used to be that way; years ago when he was so angry and hurt that the only times he could get out of his head were those moments when he was pounding in skulls. Over the years he’s slowly been able to work through some of that hatred. It wasn’t really until he met Meg. She has helped him in more ways than he can say.</p><p> </p><p>That hatred and anger is still brewing in the background though, never out of sight but often out of reach. When he pulled the trigger on Gordon, when he felt the power and control that comes from taking another person’s life, he could feel how easy it would be for him to slip into his old patterns. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose harder. He doesn’t want to go back there.</p><p> </p><p>The pot in front of him starts to boil, but he waits a few more minutes for the mash to thicken a bit. He gets up to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet, and when he returns to the table, he motions for Benny to join him. Benny sits down, and Castiel scoops some of the mash into his bowl. He takes a bite of his own and barely stops himself from grimacing at the bland taste. What he wouldn’t give to have some real food again…</p><p> </p><p>“What happens now, boss?” Benny asks between mouthfuls.</p><p> </p><p>“I have to go to this meeting soon,” Castiel sighs. He’s purposefully leaving out how he’s going to have to confront Alistair at some point tonight. He’s sure that Al was planning for Gordon or Zachariah to kidnap Dean soon, which means he’s going to notice their absence. He needs to make it clear to Alistair that he will not hesitate to hurt him if he so much as thinks he’s forming another plan to get his hands on Dean.</p><p> </p><p>He’d already grown a bit attached to the boy after running into him those couple times in Lexington, and it was enough to put his reputation on the line to claim him and keep him out of Alistair’s sadistic clutches. But now that he knows he’s Mary’s son Dean, he has to protect him like he was unable to protect her. He has her eyes. Those same green eyes that have haunted him for the past six years.</p><p> </p><p>He looks up and notices that Benny is staring at him with an odd look on his face. He probably wants to say something, but luckily he seems to know his place as a new member of their garrison and keeps quiet. Castiel finishes his last bite of InstaMash with a grimace and gets up to wash his bowl out in the sink. Then he picks up his pistol and mentally prepares himself to go meet with the rest of the captains.</p><p> </p><p>“Make sure he eats some of that,” he whispers to Benny, and Benny nods.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel opens up the door and sees Meg standing there with her hand raised as if she's about to knock. “Perfect timing, Blue,” she says cheerily. It’s an act. He knows her better than he knows himself, and he can tell she’s nervous about this meeting tonight. She’s also probably concerned about how he’d acted when he killed Gordon this morning.</p><p> </p><p>He’d met Meg a few months after leaving Alistair’s group. When Alistair killed Mary, Castiel took off on his own, but it’s hard to survive out here alone. The landscape is unforgiving and so are the other people trying to survive. After years of fighting Castiel ended up turning into somewhat of a killing machine. That’s how he’d been able to single-handedly take on the hoard of ghouls who’d attacked Meg. She knows about the darkness inside of him, and she knows the reason for it. She was there for him when he started working on putting himself back together, just like he was there for her when she struggled to get clean.</p><p> </p><p>It's been a few years since Castiel has really shown that side of himself, and it probably scares her. It scares him too, but he doesn't have time to let that fear in at the moment. Especially when he might need to use that dark side of himself again in the near future to keep his group and Dean safe. A lot is going to depend on how this confrontation with Alistair goes tonight.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s get this over with,” he sighs. She gives his arm a comforting squeeze, and together they walk down the stairs and through the double doors to the main section of the factory. There are some raiders milling around in between shifts, and some are talking while others are laughing. Nobody pays them any attention as they walk up the ramp to the command center.</p><p> </p><p>When they reach the command center, Castiel can see that the other captains have already arrived. Each captain brings their second in command for the meeting, and there are five other garrisons besides his own. Abbadon is standing closest to the door with her second in command who Castiel has forgotten the name of. Her group was the last to join, and he hasn’t really spoken to her at all. Chuck heads up another garrison. Castiel gets along with him really well, but he doesn’t care much for his second in command, Becky. She seems to be harboring some sort of crush on him, and it makes him uncomfortable. Uriel is one of the other captains, and Lucifer leads another garrison with his brother Michael. The three of them creep him out so he tries his best to avoid them. The final garrison is led by a young woman named Lilith. Alistair has basically taken Lilith under his wing, and they’re extremely close. It’s safe to say the only people Castiel trusts in this room are Chuck and of course, Meg.</p><p> </p><p>He takes a seat next to Chuck, and Meg sits down on his other side. Alistair hasn’t taken his eyes off of him since he entered the room, and it’s clear that he’s already suspecting something happened to Gordon and Zach. It’s unlikely that Alistair would confront him before the meeting, but he prepares himself for a confrontation once the meeting ends.</p><p> </p><p>“Now that everyone is here,” Alistair glares pointedly at Castiel for being a couple minutes late. Castiel does his best not to roll his eyes. “It’s time to show those Gunners down south what we’re made of here in the north!” A chorus of “yeah!” and “let’s do this!” rings out from the rest of the people in the room. Castiel stays quiet. “It’s time to send some new recruits up to the Combat Zone. This is a good way to show them how strong we are, and it’s also a good way to earn some much needed money. The upstanding city folk of Diamond City may act like they’re more civilized than us, but they still show up in droves to watch us fight and bet money on who will win. That’s money we need, because we’re running out of supplies down here.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel hates the Combat Zone. The first few years he was with Alistair, he was forced to compete there. It’s the place to go for off the books gambling and a fun evening for the people who live in the city and enjoy watching people fight. Not every fight is to the death, but Castiel killed his fair share of people in that ring. It’s also where he honed his fighting skills. He was the undefeated champion for almost two years and brought in lots of money for Alistair’s garrison.</p><p> </p><p>In the past, raiders have held control of the Combat Zone, but a couple years ago the Gunners took it over. The Gunners are a mercenary group similar to raiders except they tend to be more organized and more skilled at fighting. They take no prisoners, and they’ll do anything to turn a profit. When the Gunners took over the Combat Zone, they’d offered Castiel a place in their organization because they saw how adept he was a fighting. Castiel turned the offer down because he knew that once you become a Gunner there’s no getting out. Even though he’s been running with raiders for the past ten years, he doesn’t plan on doing it forever. Some day he wants to get out and try to live a normal life. Raiders wouldn't be happy if he chose to leave, but it wouldn't be an automatic death sentence like it would be if he'd joined the Gunners. </p><p> </p><p>“Each captain will take one of their new recruits to the Combat Zone, and you are not allowed to return until you make at least five thousand caps. If your recruits die in the ring, you’ll take their place until the money is made.” The captains around him all groan. Castiel sees this as an opportunity though. If he’s able to take his entire crew with him, then maybe they can finally get out from under Alistair’s thumb. “We don’t want too many people on the road attracting attention so each of you will travel by yourselves with your recruit. We’ll also stagger when everyone leaves so we always keep people here to hold our position in the factory.” <em>Well there goes that plan</em>, Castiel thinks to himself. Alistair continues, “Since I don’t have any new recruits at the moment, I’ll take your new one, Blue.”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Castiel stands up quickly, and everyone looks at him in shock. “He’s my only new recruit so I’ll be taking him.”</p><p> </p><p>Alistair glares at him, but Castiel holds his ground. After a few seconds which feel like an eternity, Alistair rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll stay behind then, but you and your recruit are going to be the first to head out. You have a week to train him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Only a week? Normally we train new recruits for at least a month before taking them out to the Combat Zone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Either he trains with me for a month, and I take him, or you take him in a week. Your choice.” Alistair’s tone implies that there’s no more room for argument. Neither option is good. Even though Dean seems capable enough with a gun, Castiel isn’t sure how he would fare in hand to hand combat, but the thought of Alistair 'training' him makes him want to vomit.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, I’ll take him in a week,” Castiel sits back down, but he doesn’t break eye contact with Alistair. He can tell that Al is fuming, but he doesn’t say anything further.</p><p> </p><p>“Abbadon,” he says without turning his eyes away from Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll take your recruit out in two weeks.” She nods. “And Michael, you’ll take yours once Blue returns. We’ll keep it going like that, and hopefully by the time every group has returned with five thousand, we’ll have enough money to arm everyone up with higher quality weapons.” The rest of the group nods in compliance. “Okay,” Alistair claps, “End of meeting, you’re free to go. Except for you, Blue.” The rest of the raiders get up and leave. Meg looks back at him to make sure he’s okay. He gives her a smile to show that he is, and she leaves with the rest of the group.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you keeping me after class, Boss?” Castiel asks sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are your officers Zachariah and Gordon? I figured they’d be here at the meeting tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would I bring them? Meg is my second.”</p><p> </p><p>Alistair pauses. “Of course, but I haven’t seen them in the common area all day. That’s a bit odd don’t you think?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel gets up and moves so he’s up in Alistair’s space. “No, Alistair,” he lowers his voice to a growl, “What’s odd is how you thought you’d be able to get away with pulling one over on me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what you mean,” Alistair feigns innocence and takes a step to the side to try and get away from him.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel shoves him up into the wall. “You hired them to capture my recruit with the promise that they’d be able to join your garrison. Don’t even try to deny it. Gordon admitted it right before I killed him.” The first flicker of fear shows in Alistair’s eyes. “If I even have a feeling that you’re coming after him again, I’ll tear it all down! Our arrangement, everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you threatening me?!” Alistair shoves him backwards. “I made you into a new animal. There’s no going back! Don’t forget, I know who you really are, Castiel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Leave him alone, Alistair, or I swear I will come after you next.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to see you try, tough guy,” Alistair sneers. “Don’t think I don’t know who he is either. Those eyes give it away. I’m assuming that’s why you’re falling for him. You always wanted her, but she was mine.” Castiel pulls his arm back and punches the older man before he has a chance to think about it. Alistair’s nose starts bleeding instantly, but he doesn’t react at all to the punch. He spits blood out of his mouth. “He’ll be mine too. If it’s the last thing I do,” Alistair threatens.</p><p> </p><p>“It will be the last thing you do, if you try,” Castiel punches him again. “Don’t test me.” He lets go of Alistair and walks out of the room without looking back.</p><p> </p><p>If any of the other raiders around heard their argument, they don’t react. Nobody wants to get in the middle of two senior raiders fighting. Even though Castiel is viewed as being a bit odd or different from other raiders, everyone knows he’s the only other Captain who spent time in Alistair’s garrison before leaving to form his own. That makes him the unspoken number two of their entire collective, a fact that is annoying to the rest of the captains.         </p><p> </p><p>Castiel walks as fast as he can back to his quarters without drawing more attention to himself. He sees some people eyeing him in his peripheral vision, which isn’t surprising. He had been yelling pretty loudly. Thankfully raiders are known to take care of their own problems themselves, so people don’t seem to think much of it. Still he hates feeling eyes on him like this, so he sighs with relief when he finally makes it back to his quarters and locks the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Benny gives him a look but doesn’t say anything. Castiel is glad he brought Benny into his crew, because he does his job without bitching or asking too many questions. Two traits that most raiders don't possess. Castiel wipes his hand across his face and tells Benny that he can go get some sleep for the night and report back here in the morning. He waits for Benny to leave before looking towards the bedroom door which is still closed. He really doesn’t have the energy to deal with Dean at the moment, but he also doesn’t want to spend the night trying to sleep in a chair.</p><p> </p><p>He takes off his armor and walks over to the bedroom door. He quietly knocks and waits to see if Dean will open it. He doesn’t know what time it is, but it is late, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean is already asleep. He slowly opens the door and sees the lights are all off. It looks like Dean must be sleeping. He stands there awkwardly for a moment. He doesn’t want to just climb into bed with Dean since he’d been furious earlier, but he also doesn’t want to wake him up and fight with him now.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean, are you awake?” he whispers hesitantly. Dean doesn’t respond, but Castiel does see him shift slightly so he assumes that means he is awake. He's probably still angry though. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he starts slowly. “I know how it must look, and I know you don’t trust me, but I assure you I had nothing to do with your mother’s death.” He sees Dean move a little bit again. “For the record, I was quite fond of her. When I found out what Alistair had done, I left his group immediately.” He pauses for a moment to see if Dean will respond, and when he doesn’t, he continues, “I would like to talk about her with you sometime if you’d be okay with that.” Castiel waits again to see if Dean is going to say anything. He knows that he’s awake. Feeling very awkward, Castiel starts to pace back and forth slowly. “Do you want me to leave?” Still no response. Castiel sighs and resigns himself to a sleepless night on an uncomfortable chair.</p><p> </p><p>He’s just about to open the door when he hears Dean clear his throat. “You can stay.” The relief he feels is instantaneous. It only takes him a couple of steps to reach the bed, and once his head hits the pillow, he immediately falls asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In Fallout, the currency everyone uses is "caps" or bottlecaps. Don't ask me why, that's just the way it is. I didn't know how to casually bring that up in the story, so I'm just adding it as a note here.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You'll notice I've added a non-con tag. There are some non-con elements that occur in this chapter, but they're not between Dean and Cas. I tried not to make it too graphic.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean wakes the next morning to an empty bed and the smell of something cooking. After he finishes his morning routine in the bathroom, he yawns and heads out into the main room. He sees Blue kneeling over the cooking stove stirring something. It smells like more InstaMash, and Dean’s stomach growls. Processed foods were a luxury back on his parents’ farm. Most of what they ate either came from what they planted or from what animals they could hunt.</p><p> </p><p>“Good, you’re up,” Blue greets him. Dean rubs the sleep from his eyes. “Here’s something to eat. I’m sorry I don’t have something more appetizing to give you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I like InstaMash.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue looks at him like he has three heads. “You’d willingly eat this shit?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d probably get tired of it if I had it every day, but we didn’t have much processed food on the farm,” Dean explains.</p><p> </p><p>“Lucky,” Blue sighs, “I miss real food.” He takes a bite of his mash and makes a face. “Anyways, I need to fill you in on last night’s meeting.” Dean leans forward in anticipation. He tried his best to eavesdrop on Blue’s conversation with Benny yesterday, but he hadn’t been able to make out much of it. “Have you heard of the Combat Zone?”</p><p> </p><p>The Combat Zone is located in the Theatre District of Boston. It used to be a reputable theatre where people would put on plays, but it was taken over by raiders a while back. Dean’s heard horror stories of settlers being captured from farms and forced to fight to the death for raiders’ entertainment. At the time he’d thought they were just urban legends, but now he feels a pit forming in his stomach. This can’t be good.</p><p> </p><p>Blue must see the fear on his face, because he tries to calm him down by saying, “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you, but Alistair is insisting each Captain take a recruit to the Combat Zone to make some money. He’s giving me a week to train you, which is ridiculous. Normally recruits get at least a month of training, but he’s trying to get to you because of your connection to Mary.” Dean tries to keep his expression neutral, but he thinks Blue catches him flinch. It doesn’t seem like the man misses much. “I spent about three years at the Combat Zone, and I was undefeated for much of that time.” Dean raises his eyebrows. “I’m not trying to boast, but I just wanted you to know that I understand how it works, and I’ll do my best to prepare you in what time we have.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean feels like he can trust the older man, which instantly catches him off guard. He can’t trust him! This man kidnapped him! Maybe he was doing it to protect him from Alistair, and maybe he was telling the truth about being friends with his mother, but there’s no way for Dean to know that for sure. He can’t let his guard down.</p><p> </p><p>“The Combat Zone only uses hand to hand combat. There aren’t any weapons involved,” Blue explains. “Do you have any experience with hand to hand combat?”</p><p> </p><p>“My dad taught me a little bit, but he spent more time training me to use guns from a distance. Hand to hand was just as a last resort.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see. Well, we’ll have to train you up then. I’ll at least have time to teach you the basics before we leave, and then I can train you more once we get there. Normally how it works is the fights take place on the weekends, and the weekdays are reserved for healing and preparing for the next fight.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean feels butterflies in his stomach at the thought of having to fight in a ring against other raiders in front of a jeering audience. He is not looking forward to this at all, but at least it means he’ll finally be allowed to leave this room. He’s grateful that Blue is sharing his personal quarters with him, but he hasn’t seen the sky or breathed fresh air in days, and he’s starting to go a little stir crazy. That’s why he basically begs Blue to take him along for the raid that he’s preparing to leave for.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Blue says in a tone that leaves no room for discussion.</p><p> </p><p>“Please,” Dean tries to put on his most convincing puppy face. “I promise I won’t get in the way.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you wouldn’t, but I can’t have you distracting me. Not right now.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean stares down at the table dejectedly. He knows it isn’t worth arguing. He’s only been here for a few days, but he’s already learned that when Blue uses that tone of voice, it means he isn’t going to budge. Then he replays what Blue just said. “I’m distracting?” This is new information he’ll have to file away for later.</p><p> </p><p>“You have no idea,” Blue says mysteriously and leaves the room. What the hell is that supposed to mean?</p><p> </p><p>A few seconds after Blue leaves, the burly raider from yesterday comes in and takes a seat in the chair by the door. Dean tries not to roll his eyes. Benny seems nice enough, though they didn’t really speak at all yesterday since Dean had been busy sulking in the bedroom. Even though he seems nice, Dean doesn’t appreciate being babysat. He’s not a child.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’re my big, bad prison guard?” He asks the man bitterly.</p><p> </p><p>“I like to think of myself as more of a body guard, but if you want to think of yourself as a prisoner, that’s on you, cher.” Benny has a thick accent that sounds like it comes from the south. It sounds out of place here. People don’t tend to travel that far between cities. It’s deadly out in the Wasteland, and gets more dangerous the further away from a city that you go. His parents told him growing up that they lived in an area on the north east of what used to be a huge country called the United States. Before the Great War the country was made up of different states that all worked together as part of one nation. People could also travel easily between different areas of the country by using cars or even airplanes.</p><p> </p><p>The only reason Dean knows what a southerner even sounds like is from those old cowboy shows he used to watch growing up. When he was really little, they used to live in Diamond City, which is the biggest city around. It’s expensive to live in the city though, so after Sammy was born they were forced to move out into the country and start their farm. Of course if they’d stayed in the city, Mary never would’ve been kidnapped by raiders. Raiders wouldn’t dare attack the big city.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you have an accent?” Dean asks to break the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Because I’m not from here,” Benny laughs. “You have an accent too, brother.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but everyone here has the same accent, so you’re the weird one.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fair enough,” Benny chuckles. “I’m from a long way away from here actually. In what used to be called the Deep South.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s eyes widen. “How long did it take you to get here?”</p><p> </p><p>Benny thinks a moment. “About a year, give or take a few months.”</p><p> </p><p>“Damn,” Dean whistles. “Why bother? It can’t be that great up here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me, brother, it’s much worse down there, but that’s not why I left.” Benny gets up and goes over to the sink to get a glass of water. “My missus got sick. I took her to every doctor I could find, but nobody knew what was wrong with her. Finally someone told us that we needed to get some special serum to cure her. The ingredients can’t be found down there, but he told me that some doctors in Diamond City have them. I got all the way up here only to find out that raiders had taken over the old hospital where those supplies were stored. I tried sneaking in there myself to get the serum, but I almost died. No way would I have been able to take on all those raiders by myself.” He takes a sip of water and sits back down in the chair. “Not like it matters anyway,” he sighs. “I got word from a trade caravan that my Andrea had passed away. I wasn’t able to save her.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, man.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me too,” Benny looks up at him with glassy eyes. “Now there’s no reason for me to hike all the way back there. There’s nothing left down south for me, and like I said, this place is a picnic compared to what’s down there. At first I tried to find a settlement to join, but everyone is so suspicious of outsiders, nobody would let me in. The only place I could go where people accepted me was with the raiders, but I ain’t a criminal. I don’t like being here. Then again, it seems like the Captain is different from the others. I figure I’ll stay for now and see what happens.” He gives Dean a small smile, but there’s no life in his eyes. Dean looks away. It seems like he isn’t the only one who is a prisoner here.</p><p> </p><p>“Guess I’m not the only outsider here,” Dean returns his smile and hopes Benny takes that for the apology it is.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re definitely not, brother.”</p><p> </p><p>They chat for a while longer about the differences between life down south and life here. Benny tells him about these animals that mutated from alligators due to the radiation. When the bombs fell during the Great War, huge chunks of the land were completely obliterated by the impact. What areas weren’t directly hit by the bombs were blasted with radiation levels so intense that humans couldn’t survive. A small minority of people had been able to escape to the underground vaults where they survived until the radiation levels had lowered enough to venture back outside. Many more people perished because they were stuck outside. The population was greatly reduced from what it had been before the war. Animals and plant life were also affected. Many species became extinct and those that survived were severely mutated. Benny said these new alligators had two heads and grew to be twice as big as they were before the war.</p><p> </p><p>Dean tells him about a creature they have up north called a deathclaw. They were originally created by the military before the war to fight in battle, but once the bombs fell they escaped into the wild. There aren’t many of them, but they’re the most dangerous predator around. Dean has seen one from a distance before, but he ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction when he came across it. They have huge sharp claws that can shred through your body down to the bone as well as a very thick hide that’s difficult to penetrate with bullets. It’s best to give them a lot of space, because they will charge if they feel threatened.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe it’s more dangerous up here than I was giving you folks credit for,” Benny laughs.</p><p> </p><p>They spend the rest of the day making idle chit chat, and by the time they’ve finished eating dinner, Dean can admit to himself that Benny is a cool guy. He actually feels like he’s made a friend here, which he definitely hadn’t been expecting. It also makes him feel a bit more comfortable with his situation with Blue. Dean has a gut feeling that if it ever came to picking sides between him and Blue, Benny would take his side.</p><p> </p><p>After they clean up their dishes, Dean retires to the bedroom and gets ready to sleep. He’s still going crazy about not being able to leave the room, but at least now he has someone to talk to. By the time his head hits the pillow, he’s tired enough to fall asleep relatively easily. He’s woken up a couple hours later when Blue gets back in. He can tell the man is trying to be quiet, but without any light to guide him, he keeps bumping into things and making noise. After a particularly loud thump Dean groans.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry,” comes the hushed reply from Blue who then pulls back the covers to slip under them. It’s awkwardly silent again, and now Dean is awake enough that he has a hard time falling back asleep. He can tell that Blue is facing away from him again because of their unspoken rule of sleeping with their backs towards each other. He stays still for another uncomfortable moment before he gives in and gently pushes his back towards the other man until they’re touching. Something about the solid feel of Blue behind him makes him feel safe enough to fall back asleep. Dean is too tired to contemplate why he feels safe sleeping next to his captor. That's a question for another time. </p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep when he’s woken up a second time. Instead of being woken up by the silent sounds of Blue shuffling around in the dark, this time he’s woken by the thrashing body next to him. He bolts upright. Blue is groaning and flailing his arms everywhere, and Dean immediately can tell he’s having some sort of nightmare. He sits up and tries to grab hold of his arms, but the older man is moving around too quickly. He ends of catching an elbow to the face which stuns him momentarily before he’s able to finally catch both of Blue’s hands in his own.</p><p> </p><p>“Wake up,” Dean shakes him a little, hoping to bring him out of whatever images are causing his panic.</p><p> </p><p>Blue continues to thrash and moan, and Dean does his best to hold him still. He ends up almost sitting on him before he can feel the him start to relax. He continues to whisper whatever comforting things pop into his head. He remembers when Sammy used to get nightmares like this, and saying comforting things was one of the only ways to bring him out of it.</p><p> </p><p>After a while, Blue finally stills. He slowly opens his eyes, and it looks like it takes a moment for him to realize where he is. Dean watches as first confusion, then fear, and finally anger flash across his face. Blue shoves Dean off of him forcefully and stands up.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t…” Blue raises a hand to stop him and closes his eyes. “Don’t say anything.” Dean opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, Blue leaves the bedroom and slams the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>It takes a while for Dean to fall asleep again because he's hurt and confused. Blue had no right to lash out at him like that when he was only trying to help. When he wakes up for the third time, it’s to an empty room. Even though there are no windows, he is pretty sure it’s daytime. He stretches and groans, feeling exhausted from having been woken up multiple times during the night. He uses the bathroom and then heads out to the main room, resigned to yet another day full of boredom and inactivity. He rolls his eyes when he sees Benny already sitting at the chair by the door and Blue nowhere to be seen.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you do, cher?” Benny laughs and shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing!” Dean sits down angrily. It's not his fault Blue is acting like a child. “I didn’t do anything, he’s just being pissy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can see that,” Benny's still chuckling. “He just about tore my head off before he left.” Dean finds it hilarious that Blue constantly calls him “kid” when he’s the one acting like a child. It’s one thing to be unnecessarily rude to him, but he shouldn’t be taking his anger out on Benny. He doesn't deserve that.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets to the table, he sees that Blue left some food out for him. Apparently he wasn’t in that bad of a mood to where he’d let Dean starve. He eats his breakfast in silence and can’t help but think about how he has to spend another endless day doing nothing. The idea of heading out to the Combat Zone in a week terrifies him, but at least it will let him leave this fucking room. At least he’ll be able to see the sun again and feel fresh air on his skin.</p><p> </p><p>He needs to leave this room today. He doesn’t care what it takes. He can’t stand another minute being cooped up in here.</p><p> </p><p>Dean tries to act completely normal so Benny won’t suspect anything. He makes small talk with him throughout the morning and bides his time. When Benny finally gets up to go use the bathroom, Dean waits until the door is closed before he quietly leaves the room. Once he gets into the hallway, he realizes he’s only been out here once when Blue was first leading him through the factory to his quarters. He doesn’t really have any plan for where he wants to go, he just wants to be away from that room. He knows it won’t be long before Benny comes looking for him, so he quickly heads down the stairs. At the landing there’s an open area that branches off in multiple directions. There’s another set of stairs leading further down, and he remembers that's where most of the raiders stay down in the basement dormitories. He wants to avoid running into other people as much as he can, so he doesn't head in that direction. He sees an elevator on one side of the landing that probably also leads downstairs. If it still works. Then there’s the hallway that leads to the front entrance of the building. As tempting as it is thinking about walking right out the front door, he knows there’s no way he could escape. There are guards everywhere. The only other direction is through a set of double doors. Dean doesn’t know what’s on the other side, but he might as well check it out.</p><p> </p><p>He opens the doors and inside is a maze of steel walkways and old conveyor belts. This must’ve been the main part of the factory back when it was in working order. He steps inside, trying his best to appear like he belongs here. There are other raiders milling around, but nobody seems to pay any attention to him as he walks past. He spends a good bit of time exploring the various walkways, trying to see if any of them lead someplace interesting. The only stairway he avoids is the one that leads up to the command center. He can tell that’s what it is because there are turrets and guards blocking the entrance. Blue might be up there with the other captains, and he doesn’t want to run into him.</p><p> </p><p>He’s not sure how it happened, but somehow he ends up in a long, dark hallway, and he doesn't know how to get back into the main part of the building. Before he has a chance to start panicking, he feels a cold hand grab his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you lost, little bird?” A nasally voice whispers in his ear. Dean feels chills cascade down his spine. He knows that voice. The hand on his shoulder turns him around, and he feels himself get pushed up against the wall of the narrow hallway. Now he’s face to face with Alistair and forced to look into his snake-like eyes. “Your boyfriend has been keeping you hidden away in a cage. That’s pretty rude of him, don’t you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“L-leave me alone,” Dean hates how his voice betrays his fear. This is exactly what Blue had warned him about.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I will,” Alistair hisses, “I know you want this. I know you’re a little whore just like your mother was.” Dean feels him lick the shell of his ear and tries not to vomit. “Bet I can make you scream just like she did, and this time he won’t be there to stop me.” Dean shudders. That means Blue had been telling the truth. He <em>had</em> tried to save his mother. He didn’t have anything to do with her death. Why didn't Dean listen to him?</p><p> </p><p>Alistair pushes him forcefully into the wall and slots one of his legs between Dean’s. He can feel the hard length of Alistair’s erection pressing into his thigh. <em>Please no! </em>He tries his best to fight back, but Alistair is much stronger and is able to turn him around so his face is pressed into the wall. Dean can feel his breath hot on the back of his neck as he grinds his erection into him. Dean continues to kick and do whatever he can to try and get Alistair off of him, but it only seems to spurn him on. Alistair bites down so hard on his neck that he may have broken skin, and that’s when Dean begins to cry.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah that’s right,” Alistair grunts, “Sob like the little bitch you are.” He keeps Dean’s upper body pressed against the wall so he can move his hands down to Dean’s ass. <em>Nononono!</em> Dean wants to scream, but he can’t seem to make his mouth work. Alistair roughly pulls down his pants, exposing him to the cold air of the hallway. Dean chokes out a sob when he feels Alistair’s slimy hands parting his cheeks. He can’t believe this is happening to him. He feels more tears escape as he can hear Alistair undoing his own pants. Dean tries to block out everything that is happening, and focus on happier memories of Sammy and his mother. Anything but this.</p><p> </p><p>Before Alistair has a chance to violate him further, the sound of a shotgun cocking comes from behind them. “Step away from him now or I swear I’ll shoot!” It’s Meg. Dean sighs in relief as Alistair releases him. He quickly pulls his pants back up and looks up to see Meg push her shotgun to Alistair’s throat.</p><p> </p><p>“You have no right to tell me what to do, whore,” Alistair spits at her, but Dean can tell he’s a little scared having a gun pointed at his head.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right, I don’t, but when I tell him about what you did, you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t come slit your throat,” Meg hisses and then shoves Alistair away so she can grab Dean’s arm. She pulls him along until they’re back in the main area with all of the metal staircases. “Blue has been freaking out, Dean, what the hell were you thinking?” Dean feels the tears streaming down his face again, and he’s powerless to stop them. Meg looks at him and her face softens. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” she pauses, “Let’s just get you back safe.”</p><p> </p><p>He feels himself going numb as Meg guides him back to the safety of Blue’s quarters. He can feel other raiders’ eyes on them, but he’s too out of it to care. They finally make it back, and when Meg opens the door Blue immediately rushes over to them.</p><p> </p><p>“Is he okay?” Dean hears Blue ask Meg, but he can’t see or feel anything. He’s too numb. He lets himself be led to the bedroom and hears Meg and Blue talking, but he can’t make out what they’re saying. He hears the door shut and their two voices become even more muffled, but he just sits there motionlessly.</p><p> </p><p>After a while the bedroom door opens, and Blue walks in without Meg. He’s carrying a glass of water and holds it out to Dean. He stares at it blankly for a few seconds before Blue sighs and helps him drink. “I’m so sorry Dean, when I get my hands on that piece of shit…” he pauses and takes a deep breath. “Are you okay?” Dean looks up at him, but it feels like he’s too far away. It's like he’s staring at him through a tunnel. He opens his mouth to talk, but all that comes out is another sob. He sees Blue’s face crumple, and his arms reach out as if to try and hold him. Dean doesn’t know how to tell him that he wants to be held. That he <em>needs</em> to be. It must show on his face because Blue reaches out again, and this time he wraps his arms around Dean and pulls him into his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Dean is shaking, and he’s not sure if it’s because of his crying or because of shock. Blue holds him through it and starts to rock him slowly. Dean tries his best to focus on the sound of the older man's heart beating from where his tear-stained cheek is pressed against his chest. He can feel himself falling further and further towards darkness, but it’s not frightening. Instead he feels safe and relaxed.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, honey, just breathe,” Blue croons. “Breathe with me.” <em>Did he just call him honey?</em> Dean doesn’t have the energy to question what that means. He keeps falling further and further until he blacks out.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry it's taken a while for me to update this fic. I have another fic I've been working on a lot recently, but I promise I'm not going to drop this one. I have a ton of ideas for it, but it takes me a bit longer to write. I want to make sure I'm writing when I feel like it, not forcing it just to have something to post.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel looks towards the sleeping form on his bed and tries to take a deep breath. He’s so not qualified to handle this. Every bone in his body is itching to go find Alistair and put him six feet under, but Meg reminded him that wasn’t the smartest plan. Al has people guarding him day and night. His garrison is over twice the size of any of the others, and he has close allegiances with other garrisons as well. There’s a reason he’s the Boss.</p><p> </p><p>It takes every ounce of control he has to not smash everything in sight. He’s so incredibly angry! Mostly at Alistair, but also at Benny for letting Dean sneak out like that, at Meg for not finding him soon enough, at Dean for not listening to him when he said it was dangerous to leave, and of course at himself for not being there to protect him.</p><p> </p><p>It’s late by this point, and he should probably try to get some sleep. He only has a week to train Dean for the Combat Zone. He used to be terrified at the prospect of having so little time to train him, but now he can’t wait for the week to be over. Heading to the Combat Zone would give them the excuse they need to get out of here. At least for a little while. Castiel knows he’ll have to come back here after they make the money they need, because he can’t leave his garrison here to fend for themselves. Though once their mission is complete, he’s gone for good. He’s taking his people and getting the hell out of dodge at the first opportunity.</p><p> </p><p>He leaves the bedroom and quietly shuts the door behind him. He’s greeted by his entire garrison sitting in the living room with concern etched on all of their faces. “I appreciate you being here, but I think it’s probably better for everyone if we don’t crowd him,” Castiel says as he pours himself a cup of water. “I want everyone on rotating six hour shifts. One person in the living room and one person outside the door at all times. Benny and Ruby will be in one group and Garth and Meg will be the other. You can decide how to split up the shifts amongst yourselves, but two guards at all times, understand?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir,” they all say at the same time, and then discuss who wants to take the first shift. Meg approaches him cautiously.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she starts, but he holds his hand up.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nobody’s fault,” he sighs. “Nobody but Alistair.” She gives him a quick pat on the back, but he understands it as the gesture of support she intends it to be. He nods and heads back into the bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>Dean is still asleep, thankfully. Castiel sits down on the edge of the bed, sipping his water. In the low light coming from the bathroom, he watches as Dean’s features shift in sleep. He looks a bit restless, but he’s definitely out and has been since Castiel first held him. It’s silly, but he wants nothing more than to be able to hold Dean in his arms again. He’s felt strangely protective of him even before he knew who he was. From the moment he spotted him hiding in that hospital, he’s felt a strange pull towards him. He figures there’s nothing stopping him from holding Dean again, and this might be his last opportunity to do that so he should take advantage of it.</p><p> </p><p>He gets back on the bed and lays his head down on the pillow. He doesn’t touch Dean, but he hopes that his presence can be felt by him unconsciously. Or at least that when Dean wakes up, he’ll know he’s not alone. Castiel is about to fall asleep, when he feels Dean roll over. He seems to still be out, but he unconsciously moves to seek out Castiel’s body heat. He puts his head on Castiel’s chest and even nuzzles into him a bit. Castiel can’t help the relaxed smile that comes over his face when he wraps his arms around the boy. He may not be qualified to help Dean, but he’s going to do whatever he can to help. He won’t let anyone hurt him again.</p><p> </p><p>He wakes up the next morning before Dean does. He smiles when he feels that Dean still has his head on his chest. Dean starts to wake slowly and stiffens when he realizes the position he’s been sleeping in. Castiel gently tightens his hold on him to show that it’s okay, and Dean also wraps his arms a bit more tightly around him in response.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you feeling?” he asks and then wants to punch himself for being so stupid. Of course Dean isn’t feeling good. He’d just been assaulted yesterday. </p><p> </p><p>He feels Dean stiffen again, but he just says, “Like I should take a shower.” The teenager gets up and heads over to the bathroom without looking back. Castiel groans and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. Step one in taking care of Dean: don’t ask stupid questions.</p><p> </p><p>He heads out to the main room and sees Meg sitting on the couch reading an old Guns and Bullets magazine while she takes her turn at guard duty. He turns on the cooking station to start heating it up while he scavenges for something in the cupboards that they can eat for breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>“Did anything of import happen during the night?” He asks Meg while he rummages through the cabinets. He sighs when all he finds is more InstaMash and some Cram. He might actually vomit if he has to eat more mash today, so he picks up the Cram and starts to heat it up on the cooking station. It’s barely edible in his opinion. It was originally used as rations for soldiers back during the Great War. It’s nasty processed meat similar to what used to be called Spam. He likes to think it got renamed because you have to cram it down your throat since it’s so nasty.</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, it’s been quiet all night,” Meg responds.</p><p> </p><p>“Well that’s good,” he says as he splits the Cram into three servings and hands one bowl to Meg. He takes a bite out of his and can barely hide the disgust on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Dean walks into the room toweling off his wet hair. He has slightly more color to his skin than he had last night, which is something.</p><p> </p><p>“Here’s some breakfast,” Castiel hands him the third bowl. “You should eat something.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean takes a bite. “Mmm,” he closes his eyes as he chews. “I’ve always loved Cram.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks at him in open-mouthed horror. What is wrong with this kid? “Feel free to have the rest of mine then.” He can’t possibly force any more down, so he scoops what’s left of his into Dean’s bowl. He can’t wait until they’re on the road again so they can hunt some real meat to eat.</p><p> </p><p>“So when are you going to start training me up for the Combat Zone?” Dean asks with his mouth full.</p><p> </p><p>“Today,” he responds. “We’re running out of time. We’ll have more time to train once we get there of course, but I’d like to at least teach you the basics.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel cleans up their bowls when they finish, and then Meg leaves to rotate out with Ruby. When Ruby gets there, he tells her that she can guard the door with Benny because they need to use what limited space they have to train in here. He and Dean move the table and chairs over to one corner of the room to give them more space.</p><p> </p><p>They stand face to face in the center of the room, and Dean is starting to look nervous. “Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you,” Castiel jokes with a wink. “Seriously though, today we’ll mostly be working on form and not actually fighting each other. That comes later.” Dean nods. “Now one of the most important things about hand-to-hand combat is to always be moving. It may sound simple in theory, but if you get caught flat-footed, it’ll be much easier for the other guy to get you to the ground.” Castiel demonstrates what he means by bobbing and weaving on the balls of his feet. “Like that.”</p><p> </p><p>They practice moving around like that while he yells directions at Dean. He knows they’ll need to use Dean’s quickness to their advantage. A lot of the men and women fighting at the combat zone are huge and have been practicing there for years. Dean is physically pretty strong for a boy his age, but he’s still a teenager. He will have to use his speed and quick reaction times in order to fight at their level.</p><p> </p><p>Next Castiel tells him how important it is to look for the right moment to strike. “With your speed, you’re going to want to dodge as many of their attacks as possible. When they let their guard down, that’s when you’ll strike. The key to an effective strike is to strike through your opponent. If you stop your punch when it connects with your opponent, it won’t be as strong a strike as if you follow through. With me so far?” Dean nods, and they practice the correct form for a while and then decide it’s a good time to take a break for lunch.</p><p> </p><p>While they eat, Dean bombards him with questions about his time at the Combat Zone. It wasn’t a good time in his life, but he tries to answer as honestly as he can. He knows he and Dean are starting to build a little bit of trust, but it’ll take time. He needs Dean to learn to trust him especially now that they’ll be traveling on the road together for an extended period of time.</p><p> </p><p>“At first, hurting people was a punishment. I hated being there, and I hated what the raiders were forcing me to do.” Castiel looks down at his spoon as he pushes his food around the plate. He can feel Dean’s curious eyes on him. “I’m ashamed, but after a while I began to like it,” he says quietly. “I was so angry… all the time. Hurting people became a good outlet. I was good at it. I was ranked the highest fighter for a long time, and I was undefeated. It was a mutualistic relationship, because I earned a lot of money for them, but it also helped feed my desire for revenge.”</p><p> </p><p>“Revenge for what?” Dean asks, and Castiel stiffens. He hadn’t meant to say that.</p><p> </p><p>“We should probably get back to it.” He can tell that Dean is dying to push him further, but he doesn’t.</p><p> </p><p>They train for hours. Until they’re both exhausted and sweating. Until their arms and legs are so sore they can barely move. When it’s time for bed, they both collapse into it and are asleep within minutes. The next morning he wakes up to Dean’s head on his chest again, but neither one of them acknowledges it. Castiel assumes the closeness is what Dean needs at the moment after the trauma he experienced, and he’s not about to take that away from him.</p><p> </p><p>The days pass by in a blur of training. Castiel teaches Dean as much as he can during the day, and they always go to sleep with their muscles tired and aching. On the last day before they’re set to head out for the Combat Zone, he finally decides Dean is ready enough to actually fight him.</p><p> </p><p>“No actual punches,” Castiel says. “We don’t want to injure each other before going on a multi-day trek across the wasteland.”</p><p> </p><p>“You worried I’m going to hurt you, old man?” Dean jokes.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t even know how old I am,” he laughs. Nobody knows how old he actually is besides Meg, and the only reason she knows is because she figured it out on her own. It’s not something he tells anyone.</p><p> </p><p>“Well you’re older than I am.” Dean says before lunging at him. It’s obvious he tried to catch him off-guard, but Castiel dodges out of the way easily. He knows there’s no way the kid will be able to beat him, but it’ll be fun watching him try.</p><p> </p><p>They grapple at each other for a while, and eventually Dean starts getting frustrated. “I suck at this!” he yells after Castiel has taken him to the ground for the tenth time in a row.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t ‘suck.’ I told you Dean, I was undefeated there for almost two years. I don’t expect you to best me. We’re just practicing.” Dean nods, but Castiel can tell he’s still discouraged. “Let me show you something.” He moves behind Dean and places his hands on his hips to show him the correct stance. He feels Dean freeze when he initially touches him, but then he relaxes. Castiel realizes this probably isn’t the best idea, but he’s been longing to touch the boy constantly since the first night he held him. Maybe that makes him a horrible person, but he can’t find it in himself to care when he can feel Dean’s back pressed against his chest. “You want to keep your hips squared like this.” He gives the hands on Dean’s hips a gentle squeeze. “And you want to keep your feet about shoulder width apart. It makes you a smaller target.” He doesn’t realize his voice had dropped down to a whisper until he feels Dean shiver against him.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel quickly lets go of Dean and takes a step backwards before he can do anything else stupid. His face feels a bit flushed, and when Dean turns around to face him, he’s also blushing. “Okay, we should probably get packed and ready to leave. We’ll head out at nightfall.” Being on the road alone with Dean might be harder than he was thinking it would be.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Castiel and Dean head out for the Combat Zone</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean and Blue spend the rest of the day packing for their trip. Blue told him that it would take two or three days to get to the Combat Zone from here. He said it’s in the general vicinity of Diamond City, close enough for rich city dwellers to come watch the fights, but far enough away that Diamond City Security doesn't bother them. Of course Dean has heard all about Diamond City from his dad as well as from the caravans they used to trade with at the farm, but he doesn’t remember it much. He only lived there for few years before Sammy was born, so he only has a few memories of the place. He’d love to get a chance to see it again, but he doesn’t think that’s on the menu for this trip.</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s nervous whenever he thinks about having to fight at the Combat Zone, but at least he’ll be able to see the sky again, feel the sun on his face, and inhale fresh air. He’s been stuck in Blue’s quarters for almost two weeks now, and the cabin fever has beyond set in.</p><p> </p><p>Blue pulls two big duffel bags out of a closet and begins to pack them full of supplies. One bag is going to be reserved for the various weapons they need to bring with them to protect themselves on the road. The other bag is for provisions and important stuff like toilet paper. Blue brings a few food items from the cabinet, but he says they should be able to do some hunting on the road. He also packs his water purifier, so they won’t get sick. He packs some medicines in case they get radiation poisoning or if Dean gets injured in any fights. Blue assures him that he’ll be fine, but Dean doesn’t know if he believes him. He also fits Dean with some of his spare armor. It’s a bit loose on him since he’s smaller, but it should do well enough. Hopefully as he fights and bulks up, he’ll be able to fill the armor out a bit.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they’re all packed and ready to go, Blue says the sun should be setting. Dean isn’t sure how he’s able to tell time because there are no windows in this building. Of course his own internal clock is all messed up from being stuck in here for so long. They grab their things and say goodbye to Benny and Meg, and then they head for the entrance of the factory. People do look at them a little funny as they walk past, and Dean isn’t sure if that’s because they know where they’re going or if they somehow heard about what happened between him and Alistair. He feels his heart rate pick up. <em>No, he can’t think about that right now</em>.</p><p> </p><p>When they finally make it down to the front exit, Dean’s heart is beating quickly for another reason. Blue holds the door open for him, and the first small breeze of air against his face might possibly be the best thing he’s ever felt. A huge grin lights up his face, and he can see Blue smile softly in return. Blue nods at the guards on duty at the front of the facility as they walk past. None of them ask him where they're going. Even if people didn’t know who Blue is, he carries an air of authority with him that makes people not want to question him.</p><p> </p><p>Dean knows he should be more afraid of his companion after hearing about his time at the Combat Zone, but if anything he feels like he knows him a bit better now. It’s like Blue said the day he captured him; he’s not a bad guy, but he’s done bad things. Things he was forced to do to survive. Things Dean will most likely be forced to do soon as well.</p><p> </p><p>The two of them walk down the sloping road that leads away from Corvega and don’t say anything until they’re out of earshot of the raiders guarding the factory. Once they’re at the bottom of the hill, Blue hands him a 10mm pistol. “You’re handy with this, right?” Blue asks him. Dean goes through the motions of how to turn the safety off and on, how to reload, and how to release the magazine. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Blue chuckles with a fond look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Dean isn’t sure what’s changed between the two of them, but ever since… <em>Alistair</em>… things have been different between them. He has a hard time thinking of Alistair’s name without shuddering, and he absolutely refuses to think about what happened in that hallway. The past few days, he’s found a comfort in Blue’s closeness. Whether it’s sleeping pressed up next to each other or lying with his head on Blue’s chest or feeling his hands on him when they fight, something about the older man ignites a feeling inside of him that he’s never experienced before. Dean keeps looking for little excuses to touch him. He’s not sure if Blue notices, but so far he hasn’t pushed him away whenever Dean seeks him out in the night or whenever he leans into a casual touch.</p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t want to read too far into what he’s feeling. He’s taking comfort in a situation where there’s not much comfort to be found. Is there really anything wrong with that?</p><p> </p><p>When they get to the old Red Rocket gas station, Dean can see Blue visibly stiffen next to him. “What’s wrong?” Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, it looks like Blue isn’t going to answer him, but then he sighs and says, “This is where I killed Gordon.” Something about the casual way he says it makes a shiver go down Dean's spine. He has to keep reminding himself that Blue is dangerous. He may not be dangerous to Dean, but he is dangerous to anyone who crosses him.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” He replies, not really sure what else to say.</p><p> </p><p>They walk deeper into the heart of Lexington where the buildings rise up on either side of the street. The only light they have to go by is the light from the moon. Blue swears he knows where he’s going, and Dean is going to leave it to him to navigate. He hasn’t really traveled outside of Lexington since his family made that initial trek from Diamond City to where they set up their farm. He’d been four at the time, and he has a couple memories of having to walk until his feet were sore, but they aren’t detailed.</p><p> </p><p>As they walk past the broken shells of old apartment complexes, Dean thinks he hears something shuffling from inside one of the buildings. “Did you hear that?” He whispers to Blue.</p><p> </p><p>Blue pulls a gun out of his bag, and quickly attaches a scope to it that allows him to see in night-vision. He points the light towards the building where the shuffling is coming from. Dean can’t see anything yet, but there’s definitely something moving around in there. If they’re lucky it’ll be a few wild dogs, but he has a feeling it could be something worse. They both stay quiet with their guns trained on the empty door of the building, waiting for whatever it is to come out. As soon as the first creature comes stumbling out of the door, Blue yells, “Ferals!”</p><p> </p><p>Blue takes the first one out with a single head-shot, the ghoul’s head exploding on impact. Three more immediately crawl over the dead body to get outside. “Take out as many as you can as soon as they cross through the door!” Blue yells, crouching behind an old car to get some cover. “I’ll get the ones that charge us or get past you.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean cocks his gun and tries not to get distracted by Blue’s impressive display of skill as he quickly dispatches the three ferals that got through the door first. Dean sees another one starting to crawl through the doorway, so he aims and fires until the ghoul drops. Two more immediately follow it, and Dean is able to take down the first one while Blue takes out the other one. Dean can feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He’s never had to fight ghouls before. His dad always taught him to either sneak past them or run to a place where he could hide until they got bored and left.</p><p> </p><p>Blue is like a fucking fighting machine! He doesn’t lose focus or show fear once. Dean understands now why he was able to stay alive in the Wasteland by himself for a while before becoming the undefeated champion at the Combat Zone. The way he fights is incredible to watch. Dean loses count of how many they kill. It’s probably somewhere between ten and fifteen. Finally the ghouls stop emerging from the apartment building, and Blue stands up. There’s no sign of anything else moving around in the building, but it’s always a possibility that the many gunshots they let out could draw something else towards them.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that was exciting!” Blue turns his sparkling blue eyes towards Dean. “We scoped out this apartment building the other day when we had to attack Gordon and Zachariah, and there were no ghouls around.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what’s so dangerous about them,” Dean says as he reloads and holsters his gun, “They move around a lot and always in huge packs.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue does the same and then hands Dean the other duffel bag for him to hold. Dean looks at him questioningly. “I’m going to check for anything valuable on the corpses.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eww,” Dean says with disgust.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Blue chuckles. “It’s no worse than looting a human corpse.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s not sure if he’s actually serious. “Looting a human corpse is gross too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright. You wait here and cover me then,” Blue says before jogging off towards the building to start checking the bodies. Dean’s not sure what he’s going to find, but ghouls do sometimes pick shiny things up that they see on the road. Sometimes they still have whatever the original person was carrying when they got turned into a ghoul. That’s one of the creepiest things to Dean...these were real people at one point. They could’ve been alive during the time of the Great War and turned into ghouls by the radiation, or they could’ve been alive during his time and were unlucky enough to get bitten and turned. Either way it’s creepy, and Dean shivers despite the fact that it’s pretty warm out tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Blue comes jogging back to him then, holding up a few caps and a silver pocket watch that they should be able to trade for something later. “Let’s get going. Something could’ve heard those shots,” he says.</p><p> </p><p>The two of them keep walking south until they get to the edge of the city. Dean sees that the road meanders off into the distance where it’s much more open and there are fewer buildings. That’s both a good thing and a bad thing. It’s good because it means they most likely won’t run into any more ghouls. They tend to stay in buildings in the main cities. It’s bad because it leaves them much more open to the elements and with fewer places to take cover if they need to.</p><p> </p><p>At the edge of the city, there’s part of an old highway up above them. There are a lot of these around the Wasteland, more relics of an earlier time. The shells of old cars litter those highways just like they litter the streets down on the ground. Underneath the highway is a collection of water. It almost looks like a small pond, but it’s probably just here because it’s a lower area, and Dean is assuming it’s rained recently.</p><p> </p><p>“We should grab some water here,” Blue says, putting down his pack to open it up and look for some of the containers they brought to hold water.</p><p> </p><p>“We won’t be able to drink it,” Dean says, confused.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s why I brought this,” Blue points to a water purifier. Dean’s never used one before, but in theory you can heat up water to boiling and that’ll kill off the radiation and other harmful bacteria so it becomes drinkable.</p><p> </p><p>They bend down to fill up their water containers and head on down the road and out into the open. Dean is a little nervous. He hasn’t been out this far. He tries to play it off, but he’s pretty sure Blue can tell. The older man gives him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder as they walk side by side, and Dean tries to smile back at him. It probably comes out a bit forced. They walk in silence for a little bit until they get to what used to be an old pharmacy. The only reason Dean can tell that's what it used to be is because it has a sign on the wall that says ‘Pha-m-cy’ with a few of the letters missing. They must’ve fallen off the building at some point.</p><p> </p><p>The two of them spot the four silhouettes at the same time as they spot them. They must be scavengers. Scavengers travel around the Wasteland looking for anything valuable they can sell. They’re very territorial over the places they’re searching, but don’t tend to form permanent settlements. They just wander around in their groups, and they usually won’t attack unless you give them a reason to.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s close enough, stranger,” one of the scavengers says, raising his weapon.</p><p> </p><p>Blue raises his arms in a gesture of peace. “We’re not here to take what’s yours. We’re just trying to pass on down the road.”</p><p> </p><p>The scavenger who had spoken to them looks towards the other members of his group. They all shrug and go back to their business. “You may pass,” The man says, “But no funny business!”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Blue says and gently tugs on Dean’s jacket to get him moving again. They walk past the scavengers without any problems, and Dean lets out a sigh of relief once they’re out of range of them.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m surprised you didn’t threaten them, big guy,” Dean laughs and shoves Blue playfully.</p><p> </p><p>The older man chuckles. “We shouldn’t push our luck, Dean. I like to stick to one gun fight per day.” He’s obviously joking, but Dean doesn’t doubt that if it had come to a fight between them and the scavengers, they would’ve been able to take them even though they were outnumbered. Dean probably would’ve gotten one kill, and Blue would take the other three to himself, the psycho.</p><p> </p><p>They walk for a couple more miles in the dark. Dean is starting to get tired, but when he tells Blue as much, he says they should try to make it to the next city before they stop. It’s easier to find an old building to get some good rest in than trying to stay out in the open where they’re sitting targets.</p><p> </p><p>Dean can see more structures in the distance, which probably are part of the city Blue was talking about. Cambridge, he’d called it. His feet are aching by the time they get there, and thankfully Blue says they’re going to look for a place to rest. It’s probably around four in the morning, which means the sun will be starting to rise soon. They want to make sure they’re hidden before the sun comes out.</p><p> </p><p>Before they enter the old city, Blue warns him, “We need to stay away from the old Cambridge Police Station.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>“I've heard that’s where the Brotherhood of Steel has set up a base,” Blue explains. “They won’t hesitate to take out a couple raiders without bothering to ask questions first, so we need to avoid them.” The Brotherhood is a military group whose goal is to collect and protect old technology and information from before the Great War so it doesn't get lost to time. They also work to exterminate what they consider to be the scourges of the Wasteland: ghouls, Super Mutants, raiders, and most importantly, synths.</p><p> </p><p>Synths and the Institute are the basis of many urban legends kids tell to scare each other. Synths are basically androids that were made in Institute factories. The purpose and existence of these synths is widely contested throughout the Wasteland. Some people believe that there are synths who are so developed that they are indistinguishable from humans. Those people think that the goal of the Institute is to replace humans with identical synths without people knowing so that they can slowly take over.</p><p> </p><p>Dean isn’t sure if he believes any of that. He has seen earlier model synths before, and they just look like silver robots shaped like humans. He doesn’t believe that people have created synths that look and act just like humans. He’s also not sure he even believes in the existence of this “Institute” that supposedly kidnaps people to turn them into synths. As far as he knows, nobody has ever been inside the Institute or seen it with their own eyes. It’s the Wasteland’s Boogie Man.</p><p> </p><p>When he was a kid, Dean wanted to join the Brotherhood of Steel. He thought the idea of being a trained fighter trying to restore order to a broken world was appealing. His father had quickly taught him that his place was on the farm, taking care of Sam. It’s a bit ironic that now he and Blue are having to hide from the very organization that he had once dreamed of joining.</p><p> </p><p>Blue points out an old apartment building on the west side of the city that they could potentially stay in. The Cambridge Police station is on the eastern side so there will be less chance of getting detected by the Brotherhood members.</p><p> </p><p>Dean is a bit scared to check out the apartment, given how they were ambushed by ferals earlier tonight. It’s almost as if Blue can read his mind because he says, “There probably aren’t going to be any ghouls in here. The Brotherhood does a pretty good job of keeping this city clean.” He points towards a pile of dead ghouls by some of the old buses on the road next to them.</p><p> </p><p>When they get inside they immediately head upstairs. It’s always safer to find the higher ground. On the second floor, there’s an old garbage can that looks like it was used to hold some sort of fire. There are also a couple sleeping bags and some empty bottles of liquor lying around. It looks like some raiders had been camped out here not long ago, but have since moved on.</p><p> </p><p>“This is perfect,” Blue says while he checks out the other side of the room. He shows Dean a walkway the raiders must’ve made to connect this room to the roof of the building next door. The bricks of the wall are crumbled, leaving enough space for them to step through and onto the roof.</p><p> </p><p>While there’s nothing covering their heads anymore, the roof is equipped with sandbags to hide behind as well as a full sized mattress. Dean is assuming whatever raiders were staying here were forced to leave quickly because otherwise they wouldn’t have left valuable stuff like this behind.</p><p> </p><p>Blue sets up the cooking station and water purifier so they can get something to eat before they get some rest. Dean watches him work, wishing he could say something about the confusion he feels every time he’s around the man. Dean wants to know him, but Blue doesn’t seem like an easy guy to get to know. He is holding almost everything back, and Dean’s not sure how to get him to open up.</p><p> </p><p>The guy won’t even tell Dean his real name or his age for crying out loud! He’s able to tell him that he killed a bunch of people at the Combat Zone and enjoyed it, but he can’t tell him what his name is or how old he is? <em>Strange, strange man</em>, Dean thinks. Strange, beautiful man that Dean can’t stop fantasizing about touching and doing all sorts of things he's never done before with.</p><p> </p><p>“Bon appétit,” Blue says, handing him a cup of water and a bowl of some more cram.</p><p> </p><p>“What does that mean?” Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>Blue looks for a moment like he’s not going to explain, and Dean sighs in frustration. This guy wants him to trust him, but he won’t tell him <em>anything</em>. It’s getting on his nerves!</p><p> </p><p>Again, it’s almost like he can read Dean’s mind or at least senses his frustration, because he takes another bite and then says, “It translates directly to ‘good appetite,’ but it’s basically a way to tell someone that you hope they enjoy what they’re about to eat.” Blue grimaces after taking another bite of the cram. “I was saying it sarcastically though because this shit is disgusting.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean chews for a moment. “Translates from what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Pardon?” Blue replies.</p><p> </p><p>“You said it translates to ‘good appetite’,” Dean says. “Translates from what?”</p><p> </p><p>Blue pauses again, and a look that can only be described as panic flashes across his face before he quickly schools his expression into his normal blank stare. “Uh, it’s French,” he says and takes another bite.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s ‘French?” Dean hasn’t ever heard that word before. That panicked expression is back on Blue’s face, and he quickly asks if Dean wants a second portion to try and distract him. What Blue doesn’t know is that Dean is very stubborn. He feels like he’s onto something here, and he doesn’t plan on letting it go. “I’m just curious, Blue,” he says. “It’s not like I have anyone to tell if it’s some sort of secret or something.” Dean does hold his bowl out for a second helping though. He is a growing teenager after all.</p><p> </p><p>After Blue serves him more of the cram, he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and says, “France was a country that existed before the Great War. It was across an ocean from here, but back then people were able to travel from place to place by airplane.”</p><p> </p><p>“My mom used to tell me stories like that, but I don’t know, it seems so implausible.”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s no way to know for sure if France even still exists at this point,” Blue says. “I’m sure the various military groups still have a way to communicate across the ocean, but we can’t.” He sighs. “Anyways, the people who lived there used to speak French.”</p><p> </p><p>“And why do you speak a language that people from a country that existed before the Great War used to speak?” Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t really,” Blue says. “I just know a few phrases.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?” Dean pushes him. He finds it kind of adorable how flustered Blue is getting over this, but he’s also glad he’s starting to tell him more about himself. Every bit of information he can pull from Blue is like a valuable gem that takes a lot of effort to extract, but is worth that effort because it means he’s getting to know him better.</p><p> </p><p>Blue doesn’t answer, he just turns off the cooking station and starts cleaning up their empty bowls.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you like history like my mom did?” Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Something like that,” Blue says evasively. Dean wants to ask more questions, but he can tell that’s all he’s going to get out of him tonight.</p><p> </p><p>They get ready for sleep by taking off their cumbersome armor, but still keep their guns within reach in case they get ambushed by something during the day. Dean is glad he’s exhausted because the sun is starting to peak up over the horizon, and he’s going to have a tough time sleeping during the day.</p><p> </p><p>The two of them both look down at the one mattress on the roof, and Blue rubs the back of his neck awkwardly again. “I can keep watch out here while you sleep on one of the sleeping bags inside if you want,” he offers. Dean’s not sure if he’s saying that because he doesn’t want to share a bed with him unless he has to, or if he doesn’t think <em>Dean</em> wants to share a bed with him if he doesn’t have to.</p><p> </p><p>He takes a risk and says, “I can stay out here too if that’s okay with you.” He blushes slightly, hoping Blue won’t object. It’s only been about two weeks since he was first kidnapped from his farm, but Dean doesn’t know if he’ll be physically able to sleep without Blue’s warm, comforting presence next to him, and that’s all kinds of fucked up.</p><p> </p><p>Blue stares at him for a moment, probably trying to read something on his face and then says, “Yeah, it is a bit cold out here still.” He lays down on the mattress on his back instead of on his side facing outwards like he normally does. Dean isn’t sure if that’s an invitation for him to put his head on Blue’s chest like he has been the last couple nights. Dean lays down facing towards the center instead of towards the outside of the mattress, and looks over at Blue who is looking back at him. From this close, the older man’s eyes are so intense, it’s hard to look away.</p><p> </p><p>Dean watches as Blue swallows nervously, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He has a sudden urge to lean forward and kiss his neck, and <em>where the fuck had that come from?</em></p><p> </p><p>He shifts a little closer to Blue, waiting to see if that’s okay. In response, Blue opens up his arm and gently pulls Dean closer to where he can rest his head on Blue’s muscular chest again. Dean hesitantly wraps the arm that’s not currently trapped between them around Blue’s waist and pulls himself closer. He feels the older man sigh in contentment, and Dean closes his eyes. As he listens to the steady beating of Blue’s heart, he feels himself drifting off to sleep. He thinks he feels a hand gently brush through his hair, but he could’ve been imagining it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Day two of their journey to the Combat Zone</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean’s not sure how it happened, but one moment he’s sleeping with his head on Blue’s chest, and the next he’s being gently turned over onto his back. He opens up his eyes and sees Blue leaning over him. He’s hovering over Dean with his muscular arms on either side of Dean’s head, and their faces are only inches apart. Dean watches as the blue in Blue’s eyes becomes smaller as his pupils dilate.</p><p> </p><p>He licks his lips and watches as Blue tracks the movement with those eyes. He still feels a bit groggy from sleep, and he’s confused about how they got into this position, but he isn’t complaining. He raises his hand up to touch Blue’s face. The first feel of stubble against his palm makes him want to groan as he imagines what that stubble would feel like in other places. He notices Blue look down at his lips again before he starts to lean in. <em>Is he going to kiss him? </em></p><p> </p><p>“Is this okay?” Blue whispers as he leans in impossibly closer.</p><p> </p><p><em>More than okay</em>, Dean wants to say but he can’t seem to find his voice right now. Instead he just nods, and closes his eyes as Blue leans in the rest of the way. The first press of Blue’s slightly chapped lips against his own almost makes him self-combust. He’s never kissed anyone before. He’s read about it in books, and he has fuzzy memories of his mom and dad kissing, but he’s never experienced it firsthand. Almost as quickly as it started, Blue pulls back slightly with hooded eyes. Dean opens his own eyes in confusion, but realizes the older man must be checking again to make sure this is okay. Instead of answering him, Dean wraps his hand behind Blue’s neck and drags his head back down so their lips can meet again.</p><p> </p><p>This time Blue groans and presses the length of his body into Dean. He kisses him back with a bit more force this time, and Dean lets him lead since he doesn’t know what he’s doing. All he knows is that it feels incredible. Dean feels Blue’s tongue at the seam of his lips, and he opens up for him. When Blue’s tongue wraps around his own Dean lets out his first moan, and Blue captures it eagerly with another kiss. Blue’s tongue continues to explore the inside of his mouth, and the sensation lights a fire in his groin. He feels himself starting to get hard, and when Blue presses his body into him again he can tell the older man is just as turned on. Dean’s had a couple of wet dreams before, but he’s never taken things into his own hands while awake. Back on the farm, survival was their only priority, and there was no time or desire to partake in the pleasures of the flesh. Of course, if Dean had known it would feel like this, he would’ve tried it out ages ago!</p><p> </p><p>Blue breaks away from the kiss but thrusts his body into Dean’s a bit more forcefully. The feeling of both of their erections pressing together is indescribable. Blue presses kisses across Dean’s jaw and moves towards his neck. Both of his hands find Dean’s, and he intertwines their fingers and pushes their hands above their heads on the mattress. Blue obviously likes to take control in the bedroom, and Dean is totally okay with that. He was attracted to that dominant side of him when they were fighting those ferals earlier, and this is the same sort of energy but much sexier.</p><p> </p><p>Dean barely stifles a whimper at the feeling of Blue’s stubble against the sensitive skin of his neck. He feels Blue press a couple kisses to the skin below his ear, and then he does whimper quietly when he feels the smallest hint of teeth against his neck. Blue groans and thrusts into him again. “Don’t you dare hide those noises from me,” he whispers against Dean’s ear. “I want to hear you come apart for me.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean groans audibly this time, and his hips thrust up to meet Blue’s again. The older man grabs Dean’s right leg and hoists it up over his hips to give him better leverage. When Blue thrusts again with this new angle, another moan tumbles effortlessly from Dean’s mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, Dean,” Blue groans against his neck. “You make such pretty noises for me.” Dean should complain about any part of him being called ‘pretty,’ but it actually turns him on even more for some reason. He lifts his other leg and wraps them both around Blue’s back, forcing them even closer together. Blue picks up his pace, and Dean feels himself growing closer and closer to the edge of something. He’s not sure what’s happening, but he’s harder than he’s ever been before. He just needs one more push. His hands start pulling at Blue’s clothes, desperately needing to feel some of his skin to help push him over the edge. He’s so close now. <em>So close</em>…</p><p> </p><p>Dean is startled awake to see Blue hovering over him with his hand covering Dean’s mouth so he can’t scream. After a few seconds to make sure Dean knows to be quiet, Blue removes his hand and rolls back onto his side. Dean is gasping for breath, and it takes a few seconds to catch up to what’s happening. He must’ve been dreaming. He still feels impossibly hard in his pants, but Blue doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too busy peering over the sandbags on the edge of the roof.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?” Dean whispers, hoping Blue can’t tell how wrecked he sounds.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a Brotherhood patrol on the street below us,” Blue leans in towards his ear to whisper. The feeling of his warm breath on Dean’s neck isn’t doing anything to help with the situation in his pants. “Hopefully they won’t notice us, but I had to wake you up in case we end up needing to make a run for it.” Dean quickly adjusts himself in his pants when Blue turns away to look down at the Brotherhood soldiers patrolling the street. Thankfully the shock of being awakened abruptly in a dangerous situation is quickly softening his erection.</p><p> </p><p>The patrol is close enough to them now that Dean can hear the sound of their boots on the concrete as they march in formation. He realizes that if he stands up now and shouts at them to help him because he’s been kidnapped by a raider, they’d probably help him. He could go home to Sammy and Bobby and hopefully his father too, if he ever comes back from his fruitless quest for revenge. He could feel the sky above him every night and breathe in fresh air every day. His muscles tense as he tries to make himself move or shout or wave or do <em>something</em>, but he can’t. If he does any of that, he’ll put Blue in danger. Dean can’t believe he’s let his captor get this far beneath his skin in only two weeks, but it’s true. He can’t do anything that could potentially hurt Blue.</p><p> </p><p>He feels a wave of guilt and shame crash over him, and it hurts so much that it makes him gasp. Blue looks at him with concern, but he has no idea what’s going on inside Dean’s head right now. Blue continues to watch what’s happening on the street below, but he does wrap his arms around Dean’s shoulders and strokes his arms soothingly.</p><p> </p><p>Dean closes his eyes and can feel a single tear escape. He can’t believe he has the opportunity to potentially be reunited with his family, and he’s choosing this guy he barely knows over them. Granted, if he did somehow manage to escape, the raiders know where he lives and they’d probably attack their farm again, this time without leaving any survivors. That doesn’t make him feel better though. It’s just an excuse. He knows he’d already made his decision before thinking about that. He tries to let the feeling of Blue’s arms wrapped around him comfort him and ease some of his guilt, but it still lingers there in the background, waiting to rear its ugly head again at the next opportunity.</p><p> </p><p>The Brotherhood soldiers end up walking past them without even looking up at the apartment building they’re hiding in. They probably figure no raiders would be stupid enough to stay here this close to their camp at the police station. Once they’re safely out of sight, Blue lets him go and moves backwards leaving a few feet of space between them. Dean instantly misses the closeness.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” Blue starts hesitantly. “You know you could’ve called out for them, and they would’ve saved you.” He looks reserved, like he’s waiting for Dean to snap at him or something.</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Dean replies simply.</p><p> </p><p>“Then why didn’t you?” Blue asks, his eyes scrunching up in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t answer him, he just stretches and looks around for something to eat to signal that the conversation is over. He can’t answer because he doesn’t know what he’d say.<em> I chose you over my family because you’re attractive and nice to me? Because you make me feel safe even though you’re mysterious and probably dangerous?</em> That’s pathetic.</p><p> </p><p>After they eat a quick breakfast, they wait for the sun to fully set before heading out for their second night on the road. They head downstairs to the first floor of the apartment building, and Blue takes a quick peek through the open doorway to make sure there aren’t any soldiers around. Once he’s sure the coast is clear, the two of them leave the apartment and start heading southeast out of the city. They walk on the street opposite the Cambridge Police Station so they can stay out of sight of the Brotherhood soldiers. Dean can feel Blue breathe a sigh of relief once they get to the outskirts of town. Dean had been nervous about running into the Brotherhood, but Blue was probably terrified. As he’d said yesterday, they wouldn’t hesitate to take out a raider without asking questions first.</p><p> </p><p>They pass by an old graveyard next to a church, and they increase their pace to get past it as quickly as possible. Not only is it creepy, but ghouls sometimes wake up from burial sites if they hear people walking too closely to them. Once they make it past the church without incident, Dean can see that they’re out of downtown and into a more residential area. There are lots of broken down houses lined up in neat little rows. Dean tries to imagine what life might’ve been like before the Great War. Back when families used to live in these houses and had neighbors living right next to them without being worried about someone coming to attack them to steal their belongings. Back when people could go to a store to buy food or clothes, and they didn't have to do anything themselves. Back when people felt safe. </p><p> </p><p>“Did families really used to live all on top of each other like this?” Dean asks, pointing to how the houses are lined up in rows right next to each other. He figures Blue might know the answer since he’s interested in history like his mom used to be. He wonders if that’s where Blue learned all of this.</p><p> </p><p>“Some people did,” Blue responds. “Other people lived in apartment buildings like the one we slept in last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“And nobody fought with each other or stole each other’s supplies?” Dean has a hard time believing a world like that would be possible.</p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes that would happen, but it was against the law to steal or to attack people like that so if the police found out, those people could go to jail,” Blue says as he motions for Dean to follow him down a side street.</p><p> </p><p>There are so many words in that sentence that Dean has never heard of before. “What is law?” Dean says, and he feels Blue stiffen next to him much in the same way he did the other day when he was asking him questions. “Or police and jail?” Dean asks, figuring in the worst case scenario, Blue just won’t respond.</p><p> </p><p>Blue hesitates for a moment like he’s trying to figure out how to explain it. “Laws were created by people and governments as a way to help people live together peacefully instead of in anarchy, which is basically what we have now. With laws telling everyone what they can and can’t do, it helps maintain order and keeps the strong from preying on the weak.” They make it to the end of the side street, and Dean can see a river that cuts through the city. There are just as many buildings on the other side as there are on this side, and he’s guessing they’ll have to find a way to cross it to get to the Combat Zone, but for now they just walk on the street that runs parallel to the water.</p><p> </p><p>“Laws sound good,” Dean says. “How come we don’t have them anymore?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because there’s nobody left to enforce them,” Blue says sadly. “Which is where the police and government come in. They’re the ones who decide the punishments for every law that gets broken and help make sure everyone is doing what they’re supposed to do. If people got caught breaking a law, they could end up going to jail which is basically a place where you’d be locked away from the outside world until you paid off your crime. Different laws required different lengths of jail time. It’s kind of hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it before.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean takes a moment to let that all sink in. It sounds very foreign to him, but he thinks it would be nice to live in a world where people wouldn’t have to be terrified of raiders attacking them and taking all of their stuff. “How do you know all of this?” He asks after realizing what Blue just said. <em>It’s kind of hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it before</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What does that mean? Has Blue experienced all of that before? That wouldn’t be possible…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I told you, I’m into history,” Blue says, but Dean can tell he’s nervous. He keeps rubbing the back of his neck which is what he does when he’s feeling embarrassed or awkward. It’s happened enough times now that Dean has picked up on it. There’s something Blue isn’t telling him.</p><p> </p><p>“Are there still some places that have laws and police?” Dean asks. “Did you live somewhere that had still had those things and that’s why you know so much about it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, something like that,” Blue says evasively. Dean is starting to get annoyed. Getting answers from Blue is as frustrating as trying to keep crops from dying during the radiation storm season.</p><p> </p><p>Dean gets an idea. “What if I tell you something personal about myself and then you tell me something personal about you?” Maybe if he opens himself up more, Blue will be encouraged to open up too.</p><p> </p><p>The look on Blue’s face can only be described as terror, and that’s kind of hilarious to Dean. The guy can attack and kill over ten feral ghouls without so much as breaking a sweat, but the thought of having to answer personal questions makes him look like he’s about to shit his pants. “Okay,” the older man says hesitantly. “But there are some things I can’t talk about.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean is okay with that. He’s just glad Blue is willing to give this a try. “I’ll start,” he says and takes a deep breath while he tries to think of something personal to say. He figures he might as well answer the question Blue had asked him earlier that he’d avoided answering at the time. “I didn’t call out to the Brotherhood soldiers, because I knew if I did that they’d attack you. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” He looks down at the ground and can feel his face growing redder when he senses Blue’s eyes turned towards him.</p><p> </p><p>After a moment, Blue turns back to look at the road. “To answer your question, I did used to live in a place that had laws and a functioning government, but that was a long time ago.”</p><p> </p><p>He goes silent again, and Dean wonders if he’s going to expand on that at all. When he doesn’t, Dean asks, “If you lived in a place like that, why would you come here? Also how can places like that exist when things are all destroyed here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s your turn now,” Blue says with a smile, but it looks a bit forced.</p><p> </p><p>Dean rolls his eyes, but he can’t really be upset because he’s the one who made the rules for this game they’re playing. “Umm,” he tries to think of something else personal that he can share. “When I was a kid, I wanted to join the Brotherhood of Steel.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue laughs and then must realize he’s being serious. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” Dean asks. “They’re doing what they can to clean up the Wasteland, and there’s a loyalty between the soldiers. It’s like a family,” Dean laughs as he tries to explain what seems so obvious to him. “A bunch of people who you know you can trust and who have your back, and the fulfillment of doing what you can to help other people. What’s not to like about that?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s all propaganda,” Blue says, turning to meet his eyes. Dean notices that when they’re walking next to each other like this, Blue is a few inches taller than him so he actually has to look up a bit to meet his eyes. Dean realizes that he kind of likes their size difference, even though he is still growing at this point so he might end up being taller. <em>And why is he thinking about still being with Blue years from now?</em></p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” Dean asks, feeling his heart race in his rib-cage at the realization that he suddenly doesn’t have any plans to try and escape in the future. Somewhere along the line, he’d just made the assumption that he would stay with Blue and go wherever he goes, and that is too fucked up for him to even contemplate right now.</p><p> </p><p>“The Brotherhood of Steel is for self-righteous assholes who want an excuse to kill things but still take the moral high ground. They’re as blood-thirsty as raiders and gunners except they turn their bloodlust towards what they perceive to be lesser species,” Blue says with disgust, and Dean is surprised by his tone. “I’m not saying things like ferals and super mutants shouldn’t be eradicated. Those groups cannot be reasoned with, and they pose a danger to humans so I agree that they should be taken out. Newer models of synths, however, have the ability to reason and make choices and… feel emotions.” Blue takes a deep breath to calm himself. <em>Wait, does Blue really believe the urban legends that there are certain kinds of synths that are indistinguishable from humans?</em> Dean just thought that was a story made up to scare people. “Synths have just as much a right to live as people do,” Blue says adamantly. “The Brotherhood of Steel is using racist ideals to start a modern day genocide, and they disguise it by using terms like ‘order’ and ‘restoring peace.’ It’s all bullshit, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Racist genocide</em>. Great, more words Dean doesn’t know. Blue doesn’t act like any person he’s ever met before, raider or otherwise. He not only believes that these newer model synths nobody has been able to prove exist are real, but that they also deserve the same rights as humans? Dean looks over at him and can tell that he’s fuming with anger, so he decides not to ask that question right now. Apparently this is a touchy subject for whatever reason.</p><p> </p><p>They walk in silence along the river until they get to a bridge. These bridges all have splits in the center of them where they can raise up and let boats pass underneath them. Nobody uses boats anymore, and Blue explains that’s why some of the bridges they’ll come across are stuck in their upwards positions and some are level.</p><p> </p><p>This particular bridge is in the raised position. It looks like a triangle with both halves of the bridge raised up at an angle and meeting at a point in the middle. Underneath the middle part of the bridge it looks like an old ship had crashed into the bridge and got stuck. Blue explains that there are usually raiders camped out at that ship so that they can exact a toll on anyone who tries to cross over to the other side.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me do the talking,” Blue says, and Dean stays a couple steps behind him as they start crossing the bridge. When they get close to the ship, Dean can hear a radio playing some music. They’re probably close enough to Diamond City now to be able to pick up their radio frequency. It’s weird knowing he’s close to civilization but probably won’t be able to see any of it.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a toll to cross this bridge, friend,” a raider calls out from the lookout spot on the ship. He must be the one on guard duty. Dean notices how he called Blue ‘friend’ instead of ‘stranger.’ He must be able to tell that they’re raiders too. <em>Is he really considering himself to be a raider now?</em></p><p> </p><p>“How much?” Blue asks, stopping about ten feet away from the ship.</p><p> </p><p>“One hundred caps,” the raider responds.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have caps, but I have chems and this,” Blue pulls out the silver pocket watch he’d taken off of one of the ghouls they killed yesterday. “Will that do?”</p><p> </p><p>The raider nods and motions for them to come forward. Blue reaches into one of the duffel bags and pulls out a couple chems to give the man. Dean’s never taken chems before, but he’s always wanted to try them. They were created to aid in combat, but mostly people take them to get high. That means they’re pretty valuable. Dean wonders if Blue uses them himself or just collects them when he sees them to trade in moments like this.</p><p> </p><p>As they cross over the ship and onto the other side of the bridge, Dean can hear raiders joking and laughing from inside the ship. They make it to the other side of the river just as the clouds start to move in. It looks like they’re about to be hit with a radiation storm. Storms blow in from the Glowing Sea which is located somewhere to the southwest of here. The Glowing Sea is one of the spots that was directly hit by an atomic bomb during the Great War. The zone around the blast site will never be fully purged by radiation and therefore is uninhabitable except for some creatures that have managed to adapt to the harsh conditions.</p><p> </p><p>During certain times of the year, radiation storms are more common because of the direction that the wind tends to blow. They’re on the cusp of storm season right now, and Dean is not looking forward to that. There’s no real way to avoid the effects of the storms unless you happen to own a hazmat suit. Taking cover indoors helps somewhat, but there’s no way to be fully immune of the radiation poisoning when there’s a storm. Dean is not excited for the coming storm season because he’s more susceptible to the negative effects of radiation than the rest of his family is for some reason. He gets hit with near constant nausea, headaches, fever, and fatigue. Those symptoms aren’t going to mesh well with having to fight at the Combat Zone. He hopes Blue brought a good supply of Rad-X and Rad-Away with them.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to find somewhere to take cover,” Blue says as they watch the first strike of yellow lightning shoot across the sky. Dean feels more than hears the static sizzle in the air that accompanies these storms. “Here, take this.” Blue hands him a syringe of Rad-X and pulls one out for himself. The two of them insert the needles into their arms quickly to give it time to start working. That won’t prevent them from absorbing all of the radiation, but it stops them from absorbing as much.</p><p> </p><p>They head into the half of the city that’s on this side of the river, and Dean can tell that they’re closer to a downtown area than a residential one. The buildings rise on both sides of them high up into the sky. He can’t even see the tops of some of these buildings because the storm clouds overhead are obscuring them. After jogging for a while down the street, Blue stops them and points towards what looks like an old office building. The roof seems to be in pretty good shape, and most of the windows are intact, so this building would provide them with pretty good shelter from the storm.</p><p> </p><p>Dean stands back a ways as Blue tries the door and finds it unlocked. They both draw their weapons just in case and step inside. After looking around for a few minutes, they start to hear the telltale sounds of ghouls shifting and groaning as they wake up from being in the presence of humans. Blue shoots the one that starts charging towards Dean, and that wakes up the rest of them. Dean manages to take one out while Blue takes out five others. “There are too many of them!” Blue shouts as he kicks a feral off of him before it can bite him. They barely manage to fall back to the door and get through it, closing it up again before any of the ferals can push their way through. Thankfully they’re too stupid to know how to use door handles.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Dean asks. That one feral had gotten dangerously close to Blue.</p><p> </p><p>“I think so,” Blue pants. He has Dean check him for any signs that he’s been bitten just in case. Dean thought there was no cure to a feral bite, but Blue tells him that if it’s caught soon enough they could get a cure from Diamond City.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, I think it got you,” Dean points to Blue’s leg where he’s bleeding. Dean can’t tell if it’s a bite or just a scratch from something else, but it’s not worth taking a chance.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s just a scratch,” Blue winces when he touches it. “I’ll be fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean shakes his head. “No, we’ll just have to make a stop at Diamond City before we go to the Combat Zone. It’s near here right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dean, I can’t step foot inside Diamond City,” Blue says quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” Dean asks, but Blue doesn’t answer him. He just winces again. Whatever happened to his leg must be pretty painful. Another bolt of lightning shoots across the sky, and this time Dean can feel the zap across his skin of being hit by the radiation. It’s almost like the feeling of having a sunburn except it happens all at once instead of slowly over time. “Never mind. We have to get out of here. After the storm passes, you’ll tell me how to get to Diamond City, and I’ll pick up the cure for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue looks at him in shock. “You’d do that for me?”</p><p> </p><p>“You really think I’d leave you here to die?” Dean asks, offended.</p><p> </p><p>“Well… yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean rolls his eyes. “You stupid, stupid man,” he says and grabs onto Blue’s arm to drag him somewhere they can take shelter in the storm. There aren’t many options for them since the storm is practically on top of them now. Every thirty seconds there’s another crackle of static in the air and the two of them jump when they feel the shocks against their skin. Dean has his arm around Blue’s waist, and the older man is leaning very heavily on him now. When Dean looks down at him, he can see that his face has gone pale and ashen. He’s not looking too good. </p><p> </p><p>They end up finding an old amphitheater with a covered stage. It’s not ideal since there are no walls to protect them, but at least they'll have a roof over their heads. Dean lays Blue down under the roof while he goes hunting for some supplies. The storm has barely begun. He’s already starting to feel a bit nauseous, but his priority right now is making sure Blue is okay. He finds an old sleeping bag rolled up in the corner. It’s ratty and has some holes in it, but it’ll do. He walks back to Blue holding the sleeping bag under one arm and gasps when he sees the state the other man is in. He’s only been gone five minutes at the most, and Blue is now sweating and shivering. He definitely has some sort of fever.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” Blue groans. “I thought you’d left.”</p><p> </p><p>“I told you, I’m not leaving you,” Dean snaps at him. He’s pissed that Blue would even think that little of him, but now is not the time to be angry. He’ll have plenty of time for that once they get Blue feeling better. “Here, get in here.” He unzips the sleeping bag and helps Blue get inside.</p><p> </p><p>“S-so c-cold,” Blue shivers. His teeth are actually chattering now. “C-can y-you stay w-with me?”</p><p> </p><p>It’s going to be a tight squeeze, but Dean manages to help Blue remove some of his armor so he’s down to his sleeping shorts and undershirt. He quickly removes his own armor down to his underclothes and then gets into the sleeping bag behind Blue. He barely manages to zip it up around the both of them. Dean knows he’s going to be sweating and overheated lying this close together, but right now all that matters is getting Blue warmed up. He wraps his arms around Blue’s chest and feels the other man grab onto him like he’s afraid to let go.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay,” Dean says soothingly. He moves his legs so they’re pressed up against the back of Blue’s legs. Now they’re touching in as many places as possible, and Dean starts to feel Blue’s shivering slow down. He keeps whispering whatever soothing words he can think of, telling Blue over and over again that it’s going to be alright and that he’s not going to leave him. He’s not sure if the older man believes him, but his breathing eventually starts to even out. When Dean is sure he’s asleep, he lightly kisses the spot on the back of Blue’s neck that he can reach from this angle. He’s going to be fine. He has to be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Am I earning that "mysterious Castiel" tag yet? Haha<br/>Any theories of what's going on with him?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10-A</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The next two chapters are going to be a bit different than usual. They're going to happen simultaneously. This chapter is from Castiel's perspective and the next one will be from Dean's.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow updating twice in two days! What is this madness?</p><p>Basically I'm super depressed that SPN has officially finished filming, so I'm coping by writing and reading as much fanfic as I can. That's healthy right?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel floats in and out of consciousness so many times that he's having a hard time figuring out when he’s awake and when he’s asleep. He feels a comforting presence next to him whispering soothing words into his skin. Dean. He should get out of here. It isn’t safe.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It starts out as a single pitch, piercing through the blackness of the night, then steadily rises in tone until it’s unmistakable for anything else. It’s loud enough that the entire city is probably awake by now. “We’re not safe here! We have to move!” Castiel yells over the sound of the sirens. Amelia jumps out of bed and immediately grabs their suitcases where they’ve been sitting in the closet packed with the essentials for the past six months now. They knew this was coming, it was only a matter of when. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Castiel runs out of the bedroom and down the hall to Claire’s nursery. He sees her crying in her crib, but the sirens are so loud that he can’t hear her. Castiel quickly grabs a pair of his headphones and puts them over her delicate ears. It won’t completely dull out the noise, but it’ll hopefully muffle it a bit so it’s not as painful for her. Castiel knows he’ll be hearing ringing in his ears for days after this is over. Assuming they can survive past the next few hours. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>He picks Claire up and runs back into the hallway where he hands her off to Amelia, so he can grab the suitcases. “Do you have them?” He asks.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Amelia holds up the documents they’ve been keeping in their safe. They're the most important belongings they own now. “Got them!” </em>
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</p><p><em>“Let’s go!” Castiel pushes open the front door and is shocked with the scene playing out in front of him. Everybody is frantically running in the same direction. He sees his neighbors, the Andersons, pass by their house without looking towards them once. People are pushing and shoving and tripping over each other in a desperate dash to try and find safety. </em> <em>He sees people he knows and some that he doesn’t. Every single person in the city is heading to one place. Their only hope. Castiel needs to make sure he gets his family there in time. </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>They start running in the same direction as everyone else. “Castiel, look!” Amelia points off in the distance where fireballs light up the sky. They all seem pretty far away, thankfully, but then Castiel sees another explosion much bigger this time. The mushroom cloud is huge, and he doesn’t know how big the bomb is or where it hit, but he knows that the damage will be catastrophic. The entire world is about to change. </em>
  <em>They keep running with the crowd of people, and he looks over to see Amelia cradling Claire against her chest with a look of pure terror on her face. He can’t believe this is actually happening. World War III has been going on for years now, but this is mutually assured destruction. He’s not sure if the planet will be able to survive it this time. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>About thirty seconds after the biggest blast, Castiel feels the shockwave pass beneath his feet. It almost feels like what he’d imagine an earthquake would feel like. The sound of shattering glass fills the street as every window in every building explodes with the force of the blast. Castiel is knocked off his feet and the suitcases fly out of his hands. He quickly gets up and grabs them, rushing to catch up to Amelia who managed to stay on her feet and keep running. </em>
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</p><p><em>They get to the edge of the city, and Castiel sees the electric fence about one hundred yards ahead of them. They’re so close! He looks back quickly and sees that the world is on fire behind him. They have no other choice but to move forward. They may have escaped the initial blasts, but pretty soon the radiation will spread out and cover the land. </em> <em>The crowd becomes thicker once they get closer to the fence. People are standing outside begging to be let in while the sirens still ring incessantly in the background. Castiel has almost blocked them out by this point.  </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He tries to push his way forward through the mass of bodies outside the fence, but it’s difficult. Everyone is so tightly packed together, and in the panic some people are getting trampled. He’s pretty sure he’s stepping on bodies right now, but the adrenaline pumping through his veins keeps him moving. He grabs Amelia’s hand so he won’t lose her and pushes forward through the crowd.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“You have to let us in!” A woman shrieks. The guards standing outside the fence are shocking anyone who gets too close with tasers if they don’t have the proper documentation. “Please!” A man yells, holding a toddler in his arms. “We’ll die if you don’t let us in.” </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Please step back if you don’t have documentation,” one of the officers yells back, holding up his taser as a silent threat. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“We have documentation!” Castiel yells when they finally make it to the front of the throng of people. He holds up his papers and their ID cards to prove the papers belong to them.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>One of the officers grabs the papers and looks them over quickly. “Two adults and one infant,” the man says. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Yes!” Castiel yells. He hopes they can move this along because he’s worried about the long-term effects the radiation may have on Claire if they’re forced to stay out here for much longer. The officer nods to three of the officers next to him. The three of them move forward with riot shields to make sure nobody tries to get past them when they open up the gate. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Castiel and Amelia run through the opening quickly, and the guards close it again before anybody else can get through. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Welcome to Vault 111, Mr. and Mrs. Novak.” </em>
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</p><p>Castiel wakes up again when he feels someone dripping water from a towel into his open mouth. He opens his eyes and sees that it’s daytime. There’s a silhouette of a person leaning over him, but their face is obscured in a shadow. “You need to drink, Blue,” the person says. “You’re very dehydrated.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?” He asks in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah it’s me,” Dean’s gruff voice responds shakily. “You gave me quite a scare, Blue. Thought I’d lost you for a bit.” Castiel suddenly feels sick to his stomach. He leans over and violently throws up. After he’s finished throwing up the entire contents of his stomach, he falls back down on the sleeping bag and groans. He feels Dean place a clammy hand on his forehead. It feels nice and cool. Or maybe he’s just really warm. Dean gasps. “You’re burning up, man.” Well, that answers that question. He must have a fever. The hand cards through his hair gently. “I need to find a way to bring this fever down.” Castiel lets his eyes fall closed again. It’s too much effort to keep them open right now. “Hold on, Blue,” Dean says. “I’ll be right back.” Castiel drifts. It’s so much easier than being awake.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Step on the platform! In the center!” The officer yells. Castiel and Amelia step forward to the circular grey platform that is the entrance to the underground vault. Only war veterans and their families have been eligible to sign up for the Vault-Tec program. It’s the country’s way of thanking them for their service in this unending war. Castiel only just got back from his tour abroad a few months ago. He’d been overseas when Amelia gave birth to Claire. He still has nightmares about the things he experienced over there, but at least he survived. He’s one of the lucky ones. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>They wait a minute for a few stragglers to get into the fenced off area. Castiel tries not to look at the petrified faces of his neighbors stuck outside of the fence. He knows most of them will die within the next few months because of the insane levels of radiation they’re going to suffer being this close to the blast. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Is that everyone on the list?” One of the officers asks to a vault technician holding a clipboard. The technician flips through the pages of names and nods that everyone is accounted for. “Sending down the next batch!” The officer yells into a walkie-talkie. Castiel assumes whoever is on the other end must already be inside the vault. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>With a loud groan of metal, the floor beneath them starts to slowly descend down into the Earth. Castiel takes one last look at the trees and stars above him. This might be the last time he breathes fresh air. From what he’s heard on the news, a blast like this could cause a nuclear fallout that will render the world uninhabitable for as long as a few centuries in which point he’ll be long dead. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>When they get to where they’re fully underground, Castiel hears another bomb drop. From the sound of the impact, this one must be much closer to them than the other ones. He looks up and sees the sky turn red before the metal gate closes above them, sealing them inside. </em>
  <em>“We made it,” Amelia says with a sigh of relief. Castiel can barely hear anything over the ringing in his ears from both the sirens and the sound of the bombs impacting the earth. He’s probably going to have permanent hearing damage. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Everyone please step off of the elevator and head down the stairs in an orderly fashion,” a vault technician says. “Welcome to your new home.” </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Castiel walks across the steel walkway towards what looks like a pair of metal detectors. They give off a humming noise as he walks through them, but everything must be okay because another technician motions for him to come forward. One of the technicians hands him a blue jumpsuit to change into. They even have an infant sized suit for Claire. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Once they’re changed into their Vault 111 attire, they follow the doctor down another hallway. “You’re going to love it here,” the man says. “This is one of our best facilities. Top of the line, I assure you.” Castiel doesn’t really care about that. He’s just glad they made it inside in time. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“How long are we going to have to be down here?” Castiel asks. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>The doctor chuckles. “We’ll get to all of that during orientation. First we have a few medical issues to go over.” They move into another room with a bunch of pods on either side of the walkway. “These are our decontamination chambers,” the doctor explains. “We don’t want to have any radiation problems in here. That would defeat the whole purpose.” The doctor chuckles again. He’s very chipper for someone who just witnessed the start of the apocalypse. “Just step inside, sir. You too, ma’am.” He motions for Amelia to get into the opposite chamber. </em>
  <em>Castiel sits down in the chamber, and the doctor pulls the door down over him. “Just relax,” he hears the doctor say, his voice muffled through the wall of the pod. There’s a glass window in it that allows him to see through the pod to the doctor and across the walkway to where Amelia is holding Claire in her decontamination pod. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>A white mist shoots out of several valves within the pod, and Castiel hears a computerized voice say, “Initiating cryogenic freeze in 3, 2, 1…”</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Wait, what’s happening?” Castiel shouts. He thought they were just getting rid of the radiation before heading into the vaults. What’s going on? He feels his eyes start to get heavy as the mist fills up the entire pod. He bangs on the door, but it won’t budge. He holds his breath for as long as he can, but eventually his lungs give out and he inhales the mist. His breathing becomes impossibly slow, he feels his body go completely numb, and then he sleeps. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Castiel dreams that he’s lying on a hard surface with cool air being fanned onto his face. His entire body is in agony. He briefly thinks that he’s in too much pain to be asleep, but then he figures this must just be a nightmare.</p><p> </p><p>“With me again?” He hears Dean ask. <em>What is Dean doing here?  </em>Castiel looks up and sees that the sun is directly overhead. He wonders how long he’s been lying on this hard ground with nothing but a ratty sleeping bag as a cushion. No wonder his joints hurt. “The storm finally passed,” Dean says while he rummages through one of the duffel bags. “Here take this.” Dean hands him a couple pills and a cup of water. They’re Rad-Away pills. Hopefully that’ll help him start feeling better. The radiation poisoning must be what’s causing this sickness. He takes the pills and grimaces as he feels them leave a bitter residue down the back of his throat. He takes a few more swigs of the water to try and wash it down.</p><p> </p><p>He feels Dean’s hands on his right leg, but he can’t move it for some reason. “Your leg looks pretty bad, man,” Dean says. “I think the feral did get you.” <em>What’s a feral?</em> Castiel feels so out of it. It’s hard to make sense of what’s happening in this dream. He thinks Dean must be one of his neighbors because he recognizes him, but doesn’t know where from. <em>Why are they outside of the vault? It’s not safe out here.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Stay with me, man,” Dean shakes him. “I need you to tell me how to get to Diamond City so I can get you the cure. You’re not going to last much longer.” He can tell that Dean is panicking. He should be panicking too. They won’t be able to survive much longer out here. They need to get back into the vault.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s Diamond City?” Castiel asks, his voice gruff from disuse.</p><p> </p><p>“Blue,” Dean shakes him again. “I need you to focus! How do I get to Diamond City?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel has no idea what his neighbor is talking about, but he finds himself answering anyways. “Green wall,” he croaks. “Follow the white arrows.” He doesn’t know how that’s the right thing to say, but Dean seems satisfied.</p><p> </p><p>Dean leans down and kisses his forehead. “I’ll come back as soon as I can. You better not be dead when I get back!” <em>That was weird.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Castiel’s breathing starts back up again slowly. With a gasp, he opens his eyes again and sees the mist receding. As his breathing returns to normal, he’s able to see out of the window in his pod across the walkway to the pod where his wife and daughter are. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>A figure in a hazmat suit approaches Amelia’s pod. “This is the one.” The figure says, pointing at the pod. Another figure in a hazmat suit comes into view. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Open it,” the second figure orders. That’s definitely a man’s voice. </em>
  <em>Castiel watches as the pod opens, and Amelia and Claire wake up. Claire starts crying immediately. Thank goodness she’s alright! It takes a moment longer for Amelia to regain consciousness. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Is it over?” Amelia asks. “Are we okay?” </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Almost,” the man responds. “Give us the child.” The first figure reaches forward to grab Claire.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“No, I’ve got her,” Amelia says, trying to move backwards out of reach, but there’s nowhere to go. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Give us the child,” the man repeats, holding up a gun and aiming it at Amelia. She continues to fight with the person trying to grab Claire when a gunshot rings out, and she immediately stills. Castiel’s breathing quickens, and he tries to scream but for some reason he can’t make a sound. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Alright, let’s go,” the man says, and the first figure closes the pod door, leaving Amelia’s body inside. The person carrying Claire walks out of view, but the man steps towards his window and must see that he’s awake. “At least we still have the back-up,” he says and then follows the first figure out. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>The mist begins pouring out of the valves in his pod again, and the computerized voice says, “Cryogenic sequence reinitialized.” Once again, his world turns white. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He dreams that he’s warm. Too warm. It’s probably his brain trying to cope with the fact that he’s been frozen again. He reaches out with his senses to try and see if he can feel that comforting presence next to him, but he doesn’t feel anything. <em>Where did Dean go? </em>He hears footsteps approach him, but he doesn’t dare open his eyes. It’s multiple pairs of footsteps which means it can’t be Dean. Besides, opening his eyes right now would require too much effort.</p><p> </p><p>He stays as still as he can and holds his breath while one of the pairs of footsteps moves closer to examine him. “Male, D.O.A.” Another set of footsteps approaches. “Looks like the ferals got him, poor bastard.”</p><p> </p><p>“Does he have anything good on him?” A voice asks. Castiel feels a pair of hands roll him over onto his stomach and search around him.</p><p> </p><p>“A few chems,” the first voice replies.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn, better than nothing I guess. Let’s go.” The footsteps recede to wherever they came from, leaving him alone and crumpled on the ground.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel comes back to himself with a gasp and starts coughing uncontrollably. When he opens his eyes, he sees that the white mist is gone. He hears a muffled beeping noise coming from outside of the pod. It sounds like some sort of alarm. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Critical failure in vault array,” the computerized voice says, and Castiel watches as the opening of his pod lifts up. “All vault residents must vacate immediately.” Once the door lifts up, Castiel falls forward onto the floor. The beeping is louder now that the door isn’t in place to muffle the sound. C</em>
  <em>astiel takes in a lungful of fresh air as he stares down at his hands on the concrete floor. He pushes himself up quickly and stumbles across the walkway to where Amelia’s corpse is frozen in her pod. </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Come on! There has to be some sort of release,” Castiel yells as he pounds on the various buttons on the side of the pod. Eventually he finds one that opens it up. He reaches forward and cradles Amelia’s stiff form against his chest. He feels the first tears fall from his eyes as he kisses her frozen forehead. “I promise I’ll find out who did this, and I’ll get Claire back.” </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Critical failure in vault array. All vault residents must vacate immediately,” the computerized voice says again as the alarm continues to beep. He needs to get out of here!</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>He starts walking through the row of pods and looks in every one to find that every other resident is a frozen corpse just like Amelia. “Why would Vault-Tec do this?” Castiel asks in disbelief. They were supposed to live out the rest of their natural lives inside the vaults until the next generation or the one after that would be able to climb back up to the surface. They weren’t supposed to be frozen for who knows how long and left here to die!</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>He looks through all of the pods but there aren’t any survivors. Nobody except for him. </em>
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</p><p><em>He pushes through a sliding door and runs down the next hallway. He needs to figure out how to get back up to the surface. Maybe it’ll be safe out there now. Maybe other vaults had enough descendants for humanity to survive. </em> <em>He continues to breathe heavily, surprised that his lungs still work after whatever that white mist was put him to sleep. He looks down into another hallway full of pods. Everyone is dead. Either something went terribly wrong in this vault or the technicians never intended for them to survive. </em></p><p>
  
</p><p><em>He runs towards the exit door, but for some reason it won’t open. He’ll have to find another way out. </em> <em>He finds another sliding door that opens up to a ramp leading down. He doesn’t need to go further down, he needs to find a way up and out! This looks like the only pathway available to him, though so he heads down the ramp reluctantly. </em><em>As he turns a corner, a giant cockroach flies up at him. It’s bigger than a small dog! He stomps on it quickly, and its guts splatter across the floor. “Giant roaches? What the fuck?” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel continues down the hallway and through yet another sliding door. Sprawled out in the middle of the hallway is a skeleton wearing a blue jumpsuit exactly like the one he has on. Either this was a vault technician or a different resident. It takes years for flesh to completely decompose like this leaving only bones behind. "What the hell happened here?” He mutters to himself as he delicately steps over the skeleton and continues on down the hallway. </em>
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</p><p><em>Finally he reaches a set of stairs that leads up to what looks like a front lobby area. There’s a desk and another skeleton wearing a lab coat on the floor behind it. Castiel goes over to the desk and sees that the doctor is holding a gun. He takes it and finds some ammo and medical supplies hidden under the desk. There’s also a stack of cash in a drawer under the desk. He finds a backpack nearby that he grabs and stuffs all of his supplies into. If he’s going to survive, he’s going to need all of the help he can get. </em><em>He sits down at the computer on the desk and is surprised to see that it still works. He uses the doctor’s log-in to gain access and quickly reads through the doctor’s logs. “Vault 111 is designed to test the long-term effects of suspended animation on unaware, human subjects.” What the fuck? They were part of a fucking experiment?? </em> <em>As he scrolls through the contents of the computer, Castiel becomes more and more horrified. He can’t believe that they were lied to like this!</em></p><p> </p><p><em>He eventually finds a way to open up the final door. He inputs the code and hears the loud groaning sound of metal being forced into motion after being still for who knows how long. For a terrifying moment Castiel is worried that the door won’t open, and he’ll have no way out of here, but thankfully it does. </em> <em>He steps forward onto the walkway that leads to the vault entrance. He types in the code and the heavy metal door begins to spin. “Vault door cycling sequence initiated. Please stand back,” the computerized voice says. </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>When the door is moved to the side, Castiel can see that it’s at least six feet thick. This must’ve been one of their primary defenses against the levels of radiation. He sees the elevator that he rode down on and feels himself starting to panic. He has no idea how many years he was frozen for or what to expect when he walks through those doors, but there’s no turning back now. He steps onto the elevator, and it rises up to reveal a new world. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Wake up! Wake up, dammit!” Castiel feels himself being shaken forcefully by someone. “I’m sorry it took me so long, man. Please wake up! Don’t leave me here alone.” The voice sounds familiar. He bats his eyelids open slowly and is greeted by a pair of glassy green eyes. Dean. He came back for him. “Thank fuck,” Dean leans his forehead against Castiel’s. “I thought I lost you for a second there.”</p><p> </p><p>“You almost did,” Castiel groans. His throat feels like sandpaper. He stretches his legs out and is surprised to notice that he can move his right one again. “Did you get the cure?” He asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Dean moves backwards a bit, but stays in his line of sight. “I dosed you up about an hour ago, and I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. By the time I got back, you were yellow. I thought for sure it wasn’t going to work, but gradually your color started coming back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Castiel coughs. “Thank you for coming back.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not going to be that easy to get rid of me, Blue,” Dean laughs. He helps Castiel drink some water, and then the two of them lie in comfortable silence while the sun begins to set. They both know there’s no way he’ll be able to move right now. “I’m kind of terrified that if I let you go to sleep right now, you won’t wake up,” Dean chuckles nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be alright,” Castiel says. “I’m feeling a bit more like myself already. I am very tired though.” He feels his eyelids drop closed against his permission.</p><p> </p><p>“Here,” Dean whispers, and Castiel can feel himself being pulled back under the sleeping bag. Dean positions his head on top of his chest, and Castiel wraps his arms around Dean’s slim waist. “This is different,” Dean says with a laugh. Castiel smiles and lets the sound of Dean’s steady heartbeat lull him back to sleep. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really enjoyed writing some of Castiel's backstory! I enjoyed it so much that I think I am going to continue interspersing his POV with bits of his backstory here and there because there are twelve years between the time when Castiel emerges from the vault and the time that he meets Dean. </p><p>In this chapter the switches between the two were intentionally meant to be a bit confusing since he was sick, but in the future I would make the transitions smoother. I hope you enjoyed it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 10-B</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The radiation storm continues to rage above them even as the sun is starting to peek over the horizon. Blue has been asleep or unconscious for most of the night, and Dean can’t figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Dean, on the other hand, hasn’t slept a wink. He’s terrified of waking up to find Blue dead or worse, fully transformed into a feral ghoul. He does his best not to panic. The storm will pass soon. It has to. Then all he has to do is figure out how to get to Diamond City, find out where he can get the cure, and bring it back to Blue before it’s too late. Easy.</p><p> </p><p>He leans over and checks Blue’s temperature again by putting his hand on his forehead. He’s burning up, and his skin is sweaty. Dean’s not sure if he should leave him inside the sleeping bag or take him out to get some air. He’s not a doctor. He’s never had to do this before. He does know that Blue is going to need some water soon, because Dean also needs water. At first it was his plan to wait out the storm before heading out to search for water, but the storm is lasting much longer than he thought it would. Thankfully the river that they’d crossed over is right next to the amphitheater they’re taking cover under. He reaches over to the duffel bag with all of their supplies in it and pulls out the water purifier. It has a pot connected to it that Dean can fill up with water. He carefully slides out of the sleeping bag from where he was lying behind Blue and pulls on his pants.</p><p> </p><p>He runs down the bank towards the river, trying to move quickly so he can spend as little time as possible out in direct contact with the storm. He can feel the static sizzling in the air around him, and he knows he’s going to have to take a Rad-Away when he gets back under the roof. He bends down to fill up the pot, and then runs back to the amphitheater, trying his best not to spill anything. When he gets back under the roof, he breathes a sigh of relief. He can still feel the sizzling of the radiation against his skin, but it’s not as direct as it is without any cover.</p><p> </p><p>Blue is groaning, either in pain or because of whatever he’s dreaming about. Dean knows that he has nightmares even though they’ve never talked about it directly. That one night when he’d woken Dean up thrashing all over the place and then reacted angrily when he found out Dean had been trying to help him was enough for Dean to get the hint that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Blue doesn’t like appearing weak or acknowledging that he needs help.</p><p> </p><p>Dean turns on the water purifier so it can heat up and boil away any of the impurities. While he waits for that to work, he stares at Blue. The man is unconscious so Dean can get away with staring. His features look tense, and again, Dean can’t tell if it’s because he’s in pain or because he’s having one of his nightmares. He runs his hand gently across Blue’s furrowed brow, trying to relieve some of the tension he sees there.</p><p> </p><p>The purifier pings signaling that the water is ready. Dean grabs a cup and fills it with some of the water. He tries to prop Blue’s head up, but it’s hard when he’s unconscious like this. The first couple times he tries to get water in his mouth, he basically ends up just pouring it all over Blue’s face. This isn’t working. He pulls a small towel out of one of their duffel bags and soaks it in the water. It’s the only way he can think of to help Blue drink it. He gently tilts Blue’s chin back so his mouth is open and then starts letting the water slowly drop into his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Blue’s eyes start batting open, and he squints in the daylight. “You need to drink, Blue,” He says, dropping more water into his mouth. “You’re very dehydrated.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?” Blue’s voice is even more gravely than usual, probably because he’s so dehydrated. Another crack of lightning above makes both of them jump slightly. Dean cannot believe this storm is still going strong. Usually radiation storms don’t last as long as regular rain storms.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, it’s me,” Dean says, dipping the towel back in the water to try and get Blue to drink some more. He finally realizes how terrified he is when he hears how badly his voice is shaking. “You gave me quite a scare, Blue. Thought I’d lost you for a bit.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue suddenly sits upright, and before Dean can even react, he’s violently throwing up everywhere. Thankfully nothing gets on their supplies or the sleeping bag. Dean doesn’t even know how he has that much in him. He hasn’t eaten anything in almost a full day, poor guy. After he’s done he falls back onto the sleeping bag with a pitiful groan. Dean puts the back of his hand on Blue’s forehead to try and see if he has a fever. He’s really warm. “You’re burning up, man.” He moves the hand on Blue’s forehead up to card gently through his hair. Dean’s not going to lie, he’s become a bit obsessed with Blue’s perfectly messy hair over the past few days, but right now the only thing going through his mind is worry. “I need to find a way to bring this fever down,” Dean mumbles to himself.</p><p> </p><p>Blue’s eyelids flutter for a second and then fall closed again. “Hold on, Blue,” Dean says even though he’s not sure if he can hear him. “I’ll be right back.” He runs back down to the river bank to get some more water. Thankfully it’s pretty cool outside, so the water should help some. He doesn’t want to dip the same towel he’s been using to help Blue drink in the water because that would defeat the purpose of purifying it, so he takes his shirt off and soaks it in the river. He runs back up to the amphitheater, which is thankfully only about twenty feet away from the river.</p><p> </p><p>Blue is definitely fully unconscious by the time he gets back. Dean can hear him mumbling something, but he can’t make out what he’s saying or if he’s even saying real words. He pulls Blue out of the sleeping bag and starts running his soaking wet t-shirt across his body to try and cool him off. It looks like the radiation storm is finally passing. The gaps between lightning bolts are growing further and further apart. A light breeze blows through the open sides of the amphitheater, and Dean hopes it will help cool off Blue’s damp skin. He turns around to grab some more water for Blue to drink when he hears him mumble something else.</p><p> </p><p>“Claire,” he groans.</p><p> </p><p>Dean leans over him, but Blue is still fully out. He must be dreaming about something. He really needs him to wake up again, so he can ask how to get to Diamond City. He’s pretty sure they’re in a place that used to be called Boston. The ruins are bigger than the ruins for any of the other cities around here. If he takes off in the wrong direction, he could walk for miles without leaving the city. He doesn’t have that kind of time to just wander around looking for Diamond City. Blue doesn’t have that kind of time. He checks Blue's temperature again, and somehow he’s even warmer than he was before. This isn’t good. With his temperature this high, his body is essentially cooking his brain. He needs to get him cooled off now!</p><p> </p><p>Dean looks down towards the river and groans. He knows that the river is his only hope of getting Blue cooled off, but bodies of water hold a lot of rads and they’ve already just weathered an incredibly long radiation storm. He looks in their bag of supplies to see how many medications they have. They don’t have too many, unfortunately. Dean injects him with a stimpak which is for general healing. He’s not sure how much of this sickness is due to the radiation poisoning and how much is due to the ghoul bite. The effects of the ghoul bite can’t be reversed except by the cure, but maybe he can slow down whatever is happening.</p><p> </p><p>After he does that, he tries to figure out how he’s going to get Blue down to the river. Getting him into the river will be relatively easy since it’s downhill, but pulling him back up the hill when he’s soaking wet will be another issue. Blue isn’t a small guy, and Dean is strong, but he’s also much smaller than Blue is. This could be tricky, but he’ll deal with that after he brings down his fever. Dean grabs Blue from under his armpits and begins to slowly pull him down the hill. After a lot of grunting and groaning, he manages to pull him fully into the river. Dean stands behind him to keep his head from going under.</p><p> </p><p>Blue hisses as he initially makes contact with the cool water but then relaxes into Dean’s chest. Dean lightly strokes his arms and then dips his head back to get it wet as well. He desperately wishes things were different. That Blue wasn’t sick and that he’d still be able to touch him like this, but he knows that’s not possible. Blue has shown absolutely no interest in him in that way. Not in the way he’s shown interest with Meg. That combined with how he keeps mumbling about someone named Claire makes Dean realize he must only be attracted to women.</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s honestly never given his sexuality much thought. Fighting for survival, like he has been his whole life, was always the priority. He would’ve originally assumed he was just attracted to women, but clearly that’s not the case anymore. Or maybe it is and Blue is just the exception. It doesn’t really matter, the end result is the same. Dean has it <em>bad</em>. What used to be just physical attraction has definitely become infatuation or maybe even something more. If they can make it through this, Dean doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to see Blue as his enemy or captor again. It’s not that seeing him sick like this makes Dean think he’s weak, but it humanizes him.</p><p> </p><p>Blue groans again and leans his head back against Dean's shoulder. He just about melts. He’s so beyond fucked. He should use this chance to escape, leave Blue here to die, and run as fast as he can back to his farm. The pain he feels when he thinks about leaving Blue here is proof in itself that this has grown way past physical attraction into something Dean doesn’t even want to think about. He leans down and kisses Blue’s forehead, rationalizing to himself that he’s just checking the older man’s temperature. Really he’s trying to be as close to him as he can before he’s not allowed to anymore. Blue's temperature has gone down slightly. He’s still warm, but not disconcertingly warm.</p><p> </p><p>Now comes the hard part of having to drag a soaking wet grown man up a twenty foot hill. It takes him about thirty minutes and many breaks for him to catch his breath, but he finally gets Blue back under the cover of the amphitheater roof. He grabs the piece of armor that would normally go over his shoulder because it’s small but sturdy enough to be used as a fan to try and dry Blue off a bit. He starts lightly fanning him to help him continue to cool off and also help him dry off.</p><p> </p><p>Blue groans again, but Dean can see his eyelids fluttering. It looks like he’s starting to wake up. This is his chance. He needs to find out how to get to Diamond City so he can go grab the cure. He’s managed to get Blue out of the woods for the moment, but he’s not going to last much longer without a cure.</p><p> </p><p>“With me again?” Dean asks as Blue slowly opens his eyes and squints in the light. “The storm finally passed.” Dean digs through the duffel bag and pulls out the bottle of Rad-Away pills. Now that Blue is awake, it’ll probably be easier to get him to swallow these. “Here, take this.” He hands Blue the pills and a cup of water and watches as he takes the pills with shaky hands. Dean takes a calming breath when he sees Blue continue to drink the water after taking the pills. It looks like he might be more aware than he was last time. Dean sees Blue trying to roll over for some reason, but only his left leg is moving. That’s concerning. Dean moves his hands to either side of the gash on Blue’s leg. The wound itself is full of nasty looking puss and there are purple streaks moving up his leg on either side of it. How had he not noticed that before? “Your leg looks pretty bad, man. I think the feral did get you.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s a feral?” Blue asks. <em>What?</em> Dean watches as Blue’s eyes grow wide with panic, and he starts looking around frantically. “V-vault.” Maybe he’s more out of it than Dean initially thought. He needs to get the information he needs quickly before Blue goes unconscious again.</p><p> </p><p>“Stay with me, man,” Dean grabs his shoulders and shakes him lightly, waiting for Blue’s eyes to focus back on him. “I need you to tell me how to get to Diamond City so I can get you the cure. You’re not going to last much longer.” He watches as Blue’s eyes roll around in his head, and Dean’s really starting to panic right now. He doesn’t want to have to go traipsing around old Boston looking for Diamond City somewhere within it, but he’s going to have to if Blue passes out again. He’s not going to risk waiting for Blue to wake up again because he might not.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s Diamond City?” Blue’s voice sounds scratchy despite the water he just drank.</p><p> </p><p>“Blue!” Dean shakes him again. “I need you to focus! How do I get to Diamond City?”</p><p> </p><p>“Green wall,” Blue whispers, and Dean has to lean down to hear him. “Follow the white arrows.” Dean has absolutely no clue what any of that means, but he figures it’s as good as he’s going to get from Blue at this point. He looks like he’s seconds from passing out again.</p><p> </p><p>Dean leans down and kisses his forehead again reflexively. Hopefully Blue is too out of it to notice. “I’ll come back as soon as I can. You better not be dead when I get back!”</p><p> </p><p>He grabs both duffel bags of supplies because he’s not sure what it’s going to take to trade to get this cure, but he leaves his raider armor behind. It’s a risk going out into the city without any armor, but he knows for sure that nobody in Diamond City would let him in if he's wearing raider armor. He takes one last look at Blue before taking off deeper into the city. He has no idea what ‘green wall’ or ‘white arrows’ could mean, but he hopes that it’ll be clear once he gets closer. As he walks through the streets, he tries to hug the walls of the buildings as closely as possible so he doesn’t stand out. These buildings would make the perfect places for raiders to camp out, and he’s not in the mood to get shot at today.</p><p> </p><p>As he’s walking past an apartment building, he hears a woman call out, “What the fuck was that?” and he pauses mid-step. There are raiders in this building. He waits a second until he hears her mumble, “Must be hearing shit,” before he starts walking again, taking extra care to not step on anything that would make a sound.</p><p> </p><p>Dean really hopes he’s going in the right direction, but this city is like a maze. Every direction he looks there are an endless amount of buildings as far as he can see. About fifty yards ahead of him he sees what looks like a floating ball. As he gets closer to it, he can tell that it’s some sort of hovering robot. It seems to be making noise, maybe talking to itself. He doesn’t come across them often, but there are robots from before the Great War that are still functional and sometimes talk to themselves now that their old functions have been interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets closer he hears that the robot is playing music. After the song ends, Dean hears a voice say, “Hey everyone, Ash Harvelle here, bringing you the type of news you don’t hear every day. Word is that a group of soldiers from the Brotherhood of Steel were sighted at the old Cambridge Police Station. Nobody is sure what the Brotherhood is doing back in our neck of the woods, but it’s always good to see people trying to help clean up the Wasteland. This is Diamond City radio. Let’s get back to the music!”</p><p> </p><p>Dean has to be close! Diamond City radio can be heard for miles around as long as you have a working radio, but for a robot to be hovering around playing the radio station means he must be heading in the right direction. He starts walking in the direction that the robot came from and almost jumps in excitement when he sees a huge plank of wood propped up on a wall with a white arrow painted on it along with the words “Diamond City this way.” After finding the first arrow, the rest of the journey is easy. There are more arrows pointing the way, and eventually he finds himself on a street patrolled by guards. They aren’t dressed like raiders, but Dean is still cautious. He looks behind where the guards are patrolling and sees a big green wall. Diamond City must be behind the wall!</p><p> </p><p>“Hey kid!” One of the guards yells. <em>Why does everyone think he’s a kid? </em>“What are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m looking for Diamond City,” Dean replies. The guard looks him up and down briefly before deciding that he must not be a threat. He points behind him towards a makeshift barricade that blocks most of the street except for a small walkway. There are turrets on either side of the barricade and another white arrow painted prominently on the wall, this time paired with a big white diamond. The arrow points towards the opening in the barricade, so Dean gives the guard a small nod of thanks and walks through the opening.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets to the other side of the barricade, he sees what looks like some kind of courtyard. There’s a woman he recognizes as one of the caravan drivers his family would trade with. She’s standing by the side of the courtyard with her ox carrying all of the supplies she travels with. She comes to Diamond City to get her supplies before traveling around the Wasteland trading them with farmers like his family. There’s an old statue in the middle of the courtyard of a man who looks like he’s swinging a stick, and about fifty feet behind him is a huge green wall with another white diamond painted on it. It looks like there’s some sort of gate guarding the entrance to the city, and Dean’s not sure how he’s going to be able to get inside.  </p><p> </p><p>He sees a short man with brown shoulder length hair pounding on the gate and asking to be let in, and for a heart-stopping second he thinks it’s Sam, but when he turns around it’s obvious he’s older. He looks around Blue’s age, maybe slightly older. “Open the gate, Samandriel, I live here!” The man yells.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just following procedure, Gabriel, where is your ID,” a younger voice responds through an intercom.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s inside my house,” the man named Gabriel replies in an annoyed tone. “Which is inside the city… because I live here!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Gabriel, I’m just doing my job.”</p><p> </p><p>Gabriel groans and then turns towards Dean. He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Hey, you’re trying to get into the city right?” Dean nods. “Pretend you’re a trader, and they’ll let you in.” Dean doesn’t know how he feels about lying to try and gain entrance to the city because he doesn’t want to make a bad first impression, but at this point he just needs to get the cure and get out of here, so he nods again. “Samandriel, there’s a trader from Quincy here who needs to offload some supplies to the general store. You’re not going to make him wait outside are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, Gabriel, jeez!” Samandriel says in a huff. A few seconds later, the big metallic gate starts to slowly rise up.</p><p> </p><p>“Follow me before he catches on to our bluff,” Gabriel says as he starts walking under the gate and into the city.</p><p> </p><p>Dean follows right behind him and can’t help his gasp when they step inside of the city. The entrance leads directly to a long ramp that goes down into a pit where most of the city is located down below. There appear to be three levels of buildings. There are buildings in line with where they’re standing right now, there’s a middle level, and then the floor of the pit which is where the most people are walking around. It looks like there’s a main circle of stores and activity and then behind that is the more residential area. As with all new structures in the Wasteland, the buildings are pretty makeshift, built out of whatever wood, metal, and other materials are laying around, but this is the most developed and civilized area Dean has ever seen. He understands why people want to live here! With a wall and guards to protect them, people can live safely without fear of being attacked or having their things stolen.</p><p> </p><p>“So what brings you to Diamond City, kid?” Gabriel asks him after giving him a moment to ogle his surroundings.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” he responds. He’s tired of people calling him a kid.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, Dean-o,” Gabriel claps his hands together. “What brings you to Diamond City? Normally people your age don’t just show up here alone. It’s a dangerous journey to get here, as I’m sure you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not alone,” Dean explains. “I was traveling with someone, but he got bit by a feral ghoul. He’s very sick, but he told me there’s a cure in Diamond City.”</p><p> </p><p>The look that flashes across Gabriel’s face is shock quickly covered up by skepticism. “How do you know about that?” he asks. “Who are you traveling with? What’s his name?”</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Dean isn’t sure if he should tell this guy about Blue because he’d made it pretty clear that there is some reason he couldn’t step foot inside Diamond City himself. “I can’t tell you his name.”</p><p> </p><p>Gabriel squints at him for a moment, and then grabs his arm and starts dragging him off towards the middle level of the city. Dean just goes along with him. They get to a doorway, and Gabriel pulls out a key to unlock it. He opens the door and pushes Dean inside, stepping inside behind him and closing the door. “Let me guess,” Gabriel says, turning to face him. “Dark hair, piercing blue eyes, mysterious, fucking badass?” Dean’s jaw drops. <em>Does he know Blue?</em> “You know him, don’t you?” Gabriel asks. Dean stays quiet. There has to be a reason Blue didn’t want to come to the city. “Don’t worry, I’m his friend,” Gabriel says, “And if you’re his friend, you’ll know his name.”</p><p> </p><p>That hits Dean like a punch to the gut. Of course Blue doesn’t trust or care about him enough to tell him his real name. That hurts. “I don’t know his real name,” Dean says, looking down.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you call him?” Gabriel asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Blue,” Dean looks back up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Close enough,” Gabriel says and then laughs. “That bastard doesn’t tell basically anyone his name and only lets people call him Blue if he really likes them.” That makes Dean feel slightly better, although he still has no idea why Blue would care so much about keeping his name secret. “Wait, you said he’s in trouble?”</p><p> </p><p>“He got bit by a feral,” Dean says. “He needs the cure. He’s… not doing well.”</p><p> </p><p>“You care about him,” Gabriel says, and Dean blushes. He’s not sure if Gabriel means it in a romantic way, but it’s true regardless. Dean nods. “I don’t have the cure, but I know who does. I’ll be right back.” Gabriel rushes off to grab the cure, and Dean sits down on his couch to wait. He feels like he can finally breathe again. Of course, he still is anxious that he’s already too late, but he’s almost there. He just hopes Blue can hold on a bit longer.</p><p> </p><p>It only takes about ten minutes before Gabriel is back carrying a syringe filled with a pink liquid. “Here,” he says, handing the syringe to Dean.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need me to trade for it?” Dean asks hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>“No, Blue and I go way back,” Gabriel says. “The only thing I need from you is to give him a message for me. Tell him that I miss him, and that he needs to get his ass back here to see me, okay? Tell him that I understand why he’s been avoiding coming back, but he needs to suck it up.” Dean is even more confused than ever, but the important thing is that he has the cure. He thanks Gabriel profusely and sneaks out of the city the way he came in. People are busy going about their days so nobody questions who he is or what he’s doing there.</p><p> </p><p>Once he’s out of the city he starts running as fast as he can back the way he came. Now that he knows where he’s going, it shouldn’t take him too long to get back to Blue. He just hopes he isn’t too late. It’s late afternoon by now, and Blue got bitten last night. He doesn’t know how long it takes for a bite to transform a person into a feral, but he doesn’t want to take any chances.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets back to the Amphitheater, the sun is just starting to set. Blue is lying face down on top of the sleeping bag, and there are multiple sets of footprints in the mud around the amphitheater. People were here. Dean just hopes they didn’t do anything to Blue. With shaking hands, he reaches out to roll Blue back over onto his back. His skin is a worrying shade of yellow, but his heart is still beating, and he appears to still be breathing. Dean quickly injects him with the cure and waits for it to take effect.</p><p> </p><p>It’s probably the most terrifying hour of his life. He tries talking to Blue to wake him up, but he seems fully unconscious again. The color slowly starts returning to his skin, which is a good sign, and his breathing starts to pick up slightly. Dean grabs him by the shoulders again and starts lightly shaking him. “Wake up! Wake up, dammit!” He can feel his eyes filling up with tears. He can’t be too late. He can’t lose Blue now that he’s just starting to get to know him. “I’m sorry it took me so long, man. Please wake up! Don’t leave me here alone.” Dean leans closer to Blue when he starts to see his eyes opening. “Thank fuck,” Dean sighs in relief, leaning his forehead against Blue's. “I thought I lost you for a second there.”</p><p> </p><p>“You almost did,” Blue groans, his voice sounding even rougher than it had earlier in the day. Dean watches as he hesitantly stretches his legs out and smiles when he sees Blue’s right leg moving again. The bite already looks much better than it had earlier. “Did you get the cure?” Blue asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Dean sits backwards to give the older man some space. “I dosed you up about an hour ago, and I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. By the time I got back, you were yellow. I thought for sure it wasn’t going to work, but gradually your color started coming back.” Dean feels like he might cry, he’s so relieved.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Blue coughs. “Thank you for coming back for me.” Dean tries his best not to roll his eyes. They are seriously going to need to talk about Blue’s utter lack of trust in him later.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not going to be that easy to get rid of me, Blue,” he laughs. Dean leans over to get him another cup of water which he eagerly gulps down. The sun is definitely setting now, and Dean knows there’s no way they’ll be able to travel tonight even if they wanted to, so he lays down next to Blue on the sleeping bag. “I’m kinda terrified that if I let you go to sleep right now, you won’t wake up,” he laughs nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be alright,” Blue responds. “I’m feeling a bit more like myself already. I am very tired though.” As if to prove his point, he yawns and closes his eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>“Here,” Dean lowers his voice to a whisper. He gently pulls Blue back under the sleeping bag next to him and positions his head on his chest. Dean smiles at the role reversal. Blue wraps his arms around him, and Dean’s grin widens. “This is different,” he says. He would stay like this forever if he could, but he knows that’s not possible. Tomorrow they’ll have to resume their trek to the Combat Zone, but for now he’s going to enjoy the feeling of Blue’s relaxed breathing matching the rise and fall of his own chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’ve never understood it when fanfic writers say they’ve grown attached to their characters because I would just think “of course you’re attached to them, it’s Dean and Cas. We all love Dean and Cas.” But now after I’ve spent so much time writing this story, I think I get it. I have grown so attached to these guys, and I’m very happy that I have a lot more plans for this story so I won’t have to say goodbye to them any time soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm starting to add timestamps so it's easier to tell the difference between the present day and Castiel's flashbacks.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fall, 2287</p><p>(Though Castiel doesn’t know that yet)</p><hr/><p>Castiel shields his face with his hands as the elevator lifts him up into the outside world. It’s so bright that he attempts to block as much light with his hands as he can while his eyes adjust to being outside for the first time in who knows how long. After a few moments he starts to make out his surroundings. He sees that the fence that stood around the vault property has folded in on itself, the metal twisting in an unnatural way. He tries not to look at the skeletons he can see piled up on the other side of that fence, the bones of his unlucky neighbors who had been denied entrance into the vault. Then again even the people within the vault had been murdered in a psychotic experiment gone wrong. Castiel could be the last person left. There’s no way for him to know at this point.</p><p> </p><p>Since the vault is positioned up on a hill, Castiel has a good view of the surrounding area and what he sees makes his jaw drop in horror. The city has been completely leveled. There are structures still standing, but it doesn’t look like any building escaped totally unscathed. The trees that poke up through the dried out ground look like they’re all dead or dying. He sees very little in the way of greenery. Most of the landscape is varying shades of orange, brown, and yellow. Surprisingly the sky is still a bright, cloudless blue.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel takes a deep lungful of air and exhales through his mouth. The air feels refreshing, and he doesn’t suddenly drop dead from whatever toxins must be in it so that’s a good sign. He needs to think…somebody took Claire, but he has no idea who or why or even when. He has no idea how long he was trapped in that cryogenic pod, and he has no idea when Claire was taken and Amelia was killed. It could’ve been a few days ago. It could’ve been a year ago.</p><p> </p><p>He turns around and sees a shed by the side of the vault entrance. It’s probably where they controlled the elevator from the outside. He steps over another skeleton inside the doorway and moves towards the computer on the desk. The computer doesn’t work, but he does notice a first aid kit on the wall. He takes bandages, pain medicine, and radiation medicine out of the kit, figuring that it’s better to be safe than sorry. He doesn’t know if there are any people or wildlife left out here, but he needs to try and survive. Of course if there is no wildlife left, he won’t be able to survive for long, but that’s a problem for later.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel knows that the first place he should go is back home. He knows the chances of Claire being there are almost zero to none, but he doesn’t know where else to go. Maybe someone in the neighborhood will be alive, and he’ll be able to ask them what happened. He takes off in a jog down the hill and back towards his old neighborhood, ignoring the pile of skeletons at the gate entrance and trying not to picture their terrified faces as he’d been let inside and they’d been turned away. As he goes down the hill he looks at the trees rising up on either side of the path. When he’d entered the vault this had been a lush green forest. Now the trees look like they’re all empty husks. He does see a bush with some kind of fruit on it that he doesn’t recognize. He’s not sure if he should eat an unknown plant, but he picks some of the fruits off just in case he can’t find any other food later.</p><p> </p><p>At the bottom of the hill he reaches the creek that ends up turning into the river that flows past his neighborhood. He’s surprised to see that it hasn’t been completely dried up. There’s still some water down at the bottom of the creek bed. He walks over the footbridge that goes over what’s left of the creek and sees the gates that surrounded his old neighborhood are still standing even though they’re leaning over at an angle. He walks through the street looking at all the broken and crumbling houses of his old neighbors. He knew some of these families personally and others he’d see from time to time walking their dogs or riding their bikes through the neighborhood.</p><p> </p><p>His heart thumps quickly in his chest when he reaches his house. The red door is still standing along with the front wall, but he can tell that most of the house is gone. He takes a deep breath before opening the door to look inside. There’s nothing left. No sign that the people who’d taken Claire had been here or that anyone has been here since they left to run to the vault. Castiel falls to his knees and sobs.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Summer, 2299</p><p>(Present Day)</p><hr/><p>Castiel feels a gentle caress against his arm that slowly wakes him up. When he opens his eyes, Dean’s hand stills against him. The young man’s green eyes are wide at being caught. Castiel doesn’t know what to make of this new closeness that Dean seems to want, but he can’t say that he minds it. He does sit up to put a little space between the two of them and watches Dean do the same as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you feeling?” Dean asks hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Like I almost died but was brought back to life by a stubborn kid named Dean,” Castiel says with a small smile. “Thank you,” he says sincerely. “You easily could’ve left me here and gone back to your family, but you stayed. That means a lot.” Castiel coughs a bit as if that’ll be able to clear the awkwardness he feels in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Dean gives him a look that seems sad before he quickly turns away to start making them breakfast. Castiel can only assume that means he regrets his decision but couldn’t bring himself to leave him there to die. He can’t blame Dean for that. He’s honestly surprised that Dean hadn’t left him to go look for his brother. If Castiel had to pick between going to find Claire and literally anything else, he’d pick her every time. Hell, he has done that many times in the past.</p><p> </p><p>Fall, 2287</p><hr/><p>Castiel knows that his first order of business should be to try and figure out if there is anybody else alive around here. If he can find another person he’ll be able to figure out what year it is at least. And if he can’t find anyone… No, he doesn’t want to go down that road until he has to.</p><p> </p><p>His old neighborhood is situated at the edge of the city of Concord, Massachusetts. Maybe he’ll be able to find some people there even though there doesn’t seem to be any life at all around here. He grabs the backpack that holds the few items he’s collected so far: the medicine, the gun and ammo, and the cash he’d pulled from the vault technician’s desk, and he makes his way towards the big bridge at the edge of the neighborhood that crosses over the river. There’s more water flowing in the river than there had been in the smaller creek he’d crossed earlier, but it’s still not nearly as full as it had been before he entered the vault.</p><p> </p><p>After he’s across the bridge he takes one last look back towards his old neighborhood. Chances are he probably won’t ever see it again. He feels his chest constrict with emotion, but he can’t lose control now. He needs to get himself into survival mode. His time in the army definitely gives him an advantage right now. He knows how to compartmentalize, and he knows how to continue to push forward during stressful situations. He starts walking down the road towards Concord. It’ll probably only take him about fifteen minutes to get there if he moves at a steady jog. He keeps his gun at the ready just in case, because he has no idea what he could potentially run into. He could see some more of those nasty giant cockroaches or something worse that he doesn’t know exists.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets into the town, Castiel is struck by how different everything looks. The buildings for the most part are still standing, but a lot of them have their windows and doors boarded up. Castiel pokes around in a few of the buildings that aren’t boarded up, looking for any signs of life. He doesn’t see anybody, but he does pick up more cash from the cash registers in a convenience store as well as a few energy bars. They’re still in their packaging so he hopes that means they’ll be okay to eat.</p><p> </p><p>He’s startled out of his scavenging by the sound of pops in the distance. Gunshots? Castiel crouches down behind the counter and listens. The sounds continue, and they’re definitely gunshots. He’s torn between being immensely relieved that he’s apparently not the only human left alive and terrified about who is shooting and what they could possibly be shooting at.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel creeps over towards the window and looks outside. During the time he was poking around in here the sky has darkened, and it’s started raining. He hears the gunshots continue to ring out every once in a while, but he can’t see anybody. They must be at the other end of the city. Castiel knows he needs to find out where these people are so he can talk to them, but he also needs to make sure they’re friendly and won’t shoot him. He makes sure his gun is loaded and ready and then steps back out onto the street. As he walks down the street towards the direction of the gunshots, he makes sure to keep close to the buildings. Even though most of these are boarded up, there are still little alcoves that he could duck into if he needs to take quick cover. His brain is on high alert, and it’s almost like he’s back in the war zone again. His body is tensed like a tightly coiled snake, ready to strike at a second’s notice.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks both ways once he gets to an intersection of streets. He knows the layout of Concord like the back of his hand since it’s the closest city to where his family lived. He knows that if he takes the road to the left it’ll lead towards the more residential areas. That’s also where the preschool where they were thinking of taking Claire is. Towards the right are more shops and down a ways further is the town hall. He’s pretty sure the shots are coming from the right, so that’s the direction he picks.</p><p> </p><p>There are stacks of sandbags in the middle of the street that look like they’ve been placed there as a sort of defense for people to take cover behind. Castiel wonders why these barricades are necessary. Maybe it has to do with whoever is still shooting. There are gunshots ringing out from multiple directions, and Castiel can tell that there are different types of guns being used as well. It seems like whoever is fighting is in all out, kill or be killed combat. Castiel can see the Concord City Hall at the end of the street. There are a couple lit lanterns on the ground that he can see through the rain pouring down. That means there must be people over there. As he gets closer, he can see a few people fighting on a street that runs perpendicular to the one he’s on right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you!” A male voice shouts. “Up here, on the balcony!” Castiel looks up towards the balcony on the third floor of the city hall. There’s a man standing there who looks to be in his late forties to early fifties. “I’ve got a group of settlers hiding inside. The raiders are almost through our defenses, and we could really use your help! Grab that Laser Musket and come inside!” The man disappears quickly back inside the building. <em>Raiders? Laser Musket?</em> Castiel has no idea what’s happening, but he figures doing what this man says is the best option he has. Considering there are two groups fighting right now and this man hasn’t attacked him that means he’s probably the safer option.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel quickly bends down to grab what he assumes is the Laser Musket off of a dead body in the street. Right when he bends down, he hears a bullet whizz past his ear. Shit, he’s being shot at! He runs as fast as he can towards the door to the city hall and ducks inside before anybody else can shoot at him. As soon as he’s through the door, he’s being shot at again. He quickly dives for cover and returns fire with his 10mm, killing the man with a headshot. He keeps hiding behind the wall while he tries to figure out how this Laser Musket works. He’s assuming it’s some sort of new technology that was created after he was frozen. It seems simple enough to figure out, especially since he’s pretty handy with guns in general.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel knows he has to get upstairs to wherever the older man and the civilians are hiding, so he lunges towards the crumbling staircase. Some of the steps are missing and there’s jagged splinters of wood sticking out at odd angles, but he manages to make it up to the second floor just as another person starts firing on him. He turns and holds down the trigger button of the Laser Musket, and it begins to vibrate in his hand. Right when he starts to worry that he’s doing it wrong, a huge red laser shoots out of the end of the musket and hits the man directly in the chest. Castiel’s eyes widen in shock as the man is instantly incinerated into a pile of smoldering ash.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t have much time to be shocked by this new technology before he’s being fired on again. He quickly dispatches two more shooters and then bends down to check if they have any good loot on them. Now is not the time to get squeamish around dead bodies. Of course Castiel has been pretty thoroughly desensitized to anything remotely gory after his time in the army, so a little bit of looting isn’t going to turn his stomach. He finds a few medications and some ammo which he puts into his backpack.</p><p> </p><p>There’s another staircase leading up to the third floor, and Castiel climbs up it quickly but quietly. He knows the man and the settlers should be sheltering up here, but he doesn’t know if there are any more of these so-called raiders that he’ll need to kill first.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t keep us out forever!” An angry voice yells from down the hall. “We’re going to come in there and skin every last one of you!”</p><p> </p><p>If Castiel is lucky, he’ll be able to sneak up on these guys while they’re focused on whatever door the settlers are hiding behind. He creeps down the hallway quietly until he can see where the two raiders are standing outside of the door. He takes out his 10mm and shoots both of them in the head in quick succession. They’re both dead before they hit the ground.</p><p> </p><p>The door opens slowly, and Castiel is faced with the man he saw on the balcony. The man smiles, “I don’t know who you are, but your timing is impeccable!” He motions for Castiel to come forward into the room. “I’m Rufus Turner, Hunters’ Minutemen.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel shakes Rufus’s outstretched hand. “Minutemen?” Is he traveling backwards in time now? Minutemen haven’t been a thing since the American Revolution, or at least that’s what he’d thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Protect the people at a minute’s notice,” Rufus explains. “That was the original idea anyways. I joined up because I wanted to make a difference, but then things fell apart. Now Bobby and I are the last Hunters left it seems.” Rufus gestures towards another man who appears to be about the same age.</p><p> </p><p>“Bobby Singer,” the man says, reaching his hand out.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Castiel,” he says as he shakes Bobby’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Castiel?” Bobby gives him a funny look. “That’s an odd name.” He hadn’t thought about how his name might seem weird to people in this time. “Wait, are you wearing a Vault-Tec uniform?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks down at the blue outfit they’d given him when he first entered the vault. He doesn’t know if he can trust these men, but he also knows he doesn’t really have any other option at the moment. “Yes,” he starts hesitantly. “I was in Vault 111 not far from here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Haven’t heard of a Vault 111,” Bobby says skeptically.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s probably because it wasn’t meant to be used like a regular vault. We thought we were going down there to get away from the bombs, but really it was just a twisted experiment. We were all cryogenically frozen, and I think I’m the only one from that vault who survived.” Castiel can’t keep the sadness from bleeding into his voice. It seems like all of the events from today are starting to catch up with him.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit, are you saying you were around during the Great War when the bombs fell?” Rufus asks.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what you mean by the Great War, but yes, I went into the vault when the bombs fell and just woke up a few hours ago,” Castiel explains. “What year is it?” He’s not sure he wants to know the answer to that question, but he needs to know.</p><p> </p><p>“Son, it’s 2287,” Bobby says quietly, as if that’ll soften the blow. <em>Two hundred and ten years. He’s been frozen for over two hundred years. </em></p><p> </p><p>Castiel blacks out.</p><p> </p><p>Summer, 2299</p><hr/><p>When they’ve finished eating breakfast, Dean still isn’t talking to him. He also doesn’t say anything while they start packing up their make-shift camp to get back on the road towards the Combat Zone. Castiel isn’t sure what he did or said to make Dean upset, but he assumes he had to have done something wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he says quietly as they both reload their various weapons just in case they run into any more feral ghouls.</p><p> </p><p>That causes Dean to look up. “For what?”</p><p> </p><p>“For whatever I did to make you upset.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not upset,” Dean says, his jaw tightening. Castiel barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. The kid is obviously angry about something, but he’s too immature to actually say what he’s feeling apparently. Castiel figures he should switch tactics.</p><p> </p><p>“So I take it you were able to find Diamond City alright?” he asks to change the subject.</p><p> </p><p>Dean nods. “It wasn’t too hard to find once I saw the first white arrow. You probably don’t remember, but you were so out of it that the only directions you gave me were white arrows and green wall.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel chuckles. He doesn’t remember telling Dean anything, but he figures if there were two basic clues to get a person to Diamond City, those would be as good as any. “How did you get them to let you in?” Normally Diamond City security is pretty picky about who they’ll let into the city for obvious reasons. The point of paying extra to live in the city is that the people there are protected from raiders and other dangers of the Wasteland.</p><p> </p><p>“I left all of my raider armor here so that they’d think I was just a farmer boy,” Dean explains. Castiel wants to point out that Dean <em>is</em> a farmer boy but figures he probably shouldn’t since he’s already angry about something. “A guy named Gabriel helped me sneak in by pretending I was a trader from Quincy.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel immediately stiffens, and he can feel Dean watching him to try and gauge his reaction. He is so not ready to talk about Gabriel. He’s not even ready to tell Dean his real name yet for crying out loud. He’s such a hypocrite. He faults Dean for being too immature to talk about his feelings, and yet he can’t tell him even the most basic things about himself even after the kid saved his life. Castiel’s trust issues have trust issues.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know him?” Dean asks in a way that he probably hopes sounds innocent, but that Castiel can tell is not. He just shrugs in response and continues to pack up their things. He hears Dean sigh, “Blue, I know that you guys know each other. When I told him I was looking for a cure for a feral bite, he immediately guessed that I was traveling with you.” Castiel stops his packing and closes his eyes tightly. He feels Dean put his hand lightly on his shoulder, but he doesn’t open his eyes. “Gabriel said that he misses you. He wanted me to tell you that he understands why you’ve been avoiding coming back, but that you need to suck it up. Blue, why did you say you couldn’t go back to Diamond City?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel shrugs Dean’s hand off of his shoulder. He hadn’t intended to do it that forcefully, but when he opens his eyes and sees the hurt expression on Dean’s face, he feels slightly awful. “Dean,” he sighs. “I just can’t okay?” Dean nods but doesn’t say anything. He looks absolutely miserable, and Castiel hates himself. Dean has been nothing but trusting and kind with him, even when he has every reason to hate him. He stuck by him when he could’ve gone to the Brotherhood of Steel for help, <em>and</em> he saved his life when he could’ve left him to go back to his family. Castiel has to give him something. “Gabe is a good friend,” he says quietly. “Honestly he’s more like a brother. I promise I’ll tell you more later. I just can’t right now, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel hopes he can understand that. He looks back up and makes eye contact with Dean whose green eyes crinkle at the corners with the force of the smile that’s currently lighting up his face. Castiel doesn’t deserve that smile, but he can’t help but smile himself in response.</p><p> </p><p>“We should get going,” Castiel says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “We’re not too far away from the Combat Zone now. We should be able to get there by nightfall.” He picks up the two duffel bags, keeping the heavier one for himself and handing the second one to Dean. He sees the young man smirk like he can tell exactly what he’s doing, but he doesn’t comment. Castiel is nervous for everything that could potentially happen when they get to the Combat Zone, but he can’t help being excited by the possibility of seeing some of his old friends. He can’t keep the smile off of his face as they leave the poor shelter of the amphitheater and head back into the depths of the city.</p><p> </p><p>Fall, 2287</p><hr/><p>When Castiel comes to, he notices he’s lying down on some sort of mattress pad, and Bobby and Rufus are looking down at him. He sits up slowly and still feels a bit woozy, but he doesn’t think he’s going to pass out again. Bobby hands him a glass of water.</p><p> </p><p>“You alright, son?” Bobby asks.</p><p> </p><p>Nothing about this is alright, but Castiel nods as he sips his water. <em>Two hundred years. How the fuck is that even possible?</em> He looks around the rest of the room and sees that aside from Rufus and Bobby, there are three other people in the room. Those are probably the settlers Rufus had mentioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Who are these people?” Castiel asks, looking towards the other people huddled up together in the corner of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Just folks looking for a new home,” Rufus starts. “I’ve been with them since Quincy. Lexington looked like a good place to settle for a while, but ghouls drove us out of there. A month ago there were twenty of us. Yesterday there were eight, and now we’re five. It’s just me and Bobby, Inias and Hester Angel, and Missouri Mosely.” Lexington is a bigger city not too far away from Concord. Castiel and Amelia used to go there on their date nights since there was a better selection of restaurants and activities to choose from. His parents worked at the big Corvega Assembly Plant on the outskirts of the city.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel’s chest aches when he realizes that his parents are long-dead, as is literally everyone else he knew. Everyone else he ever came in contact with. Some of them may have escaped into vaults that actually did what they were supposed to do, keep people safe underground until their descendants could emerge and restart life above ground, but everyone Castiel knew personally is dead. He feels like all the air has been punched out of his lungs.</p><p> </p><p>“What are ghouls?” He asks, hoping that they can’t hear the pain in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby steps forward. “They’re people, or at least they were people,” he explains. “Some of them were around back when the bombs fell. The radiation rotted their brains and made them feral. Others are people from this time who were bitten by a ghoul. One bite is all it takes to turn you into one yourself, so watch out for them.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel nods. This new world seems like it’s going to be much more dangerous from his old one. Even though they’d been in a never-ending and constantly escalating war, they still had a functioning government and society. The bombs and subsequent two hundred years of fallout seem to have wiped that all away.</p><p> </p><p>“We figured Concord would be a good place to settle, but the raiders proved us wrong,” Rufus says. “You didn’t have any idea who we were, but you immediately came to help us anyways. That means a lot. I want you to take this.” Rufus hands him a tin can full of something. Castiel shakes it lightly and hears what sounds like metal clinking. Coins maybe? “It’s not much, but it’s what I’ve got.” Castiel opens up the can and sees what looks like a bunch of bottlecaps that come from beer bottles or soda bottles. The confusion must be clear on his face because Rufus chuckles and says, “Bottlecaps are what everyone uses around here for currency. In case you find yourself in need of buying something.”</p><p> </p><p>“People are also willing to barter and trade for things as well,” Bobby says.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Castiel's voice is full of emotion. He barely knows these people, but it means a lot that they’d be willing to help out a complete stranger. He figures he should return the favor. “There’s a place not far from here that I think would make for a good settlement,” he says.</p><p> </p><p>“Where?” Rufus asks.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s the neighborhood me and my wife lived… before,” Castiel coughs to clear his throat. “I can take you there if you want me to.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’d really appreciate that,” Rufus says. “Alright guys, let’s pack it up. We’re moving out!”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel is helping the others pack up supplies when the older woman named Missouri Mosely grabs his arm. “I can see you,” she says quietly. “You’re a man out of time. Out of hope, but all is not lost.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” He asks her.</p><p> </p><p>“I can feel your daughter’s energy. She’s alive,” Missouri smiles at him encouragingly.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel feels his heart stop beating before picking up at double speed. “Where’s my daughter? Where’s Claire?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I knew, kid,” Missouri says. “I can’t see her, but I can feel her life force. She’s out there somewhere. I do know where you should start looking for her though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where?” He asks anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>“The great, green jewel of the Wasteland,” Missouri says as if he should understand what she’s talking about.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks over towards Bobby. “What does she mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Diamond City,” Bobby replies as he picks up a pack of supplies. “That’s the biggest settlement around. If anyone knows anything about your missing daughter, they’ll be in Diamond City.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this was mostly flashbacks, but like I said there's a lot that happened during those 12 years between Castiel leaving the vault and when he meets Dean. I think what I'm going to start doing is adding side chapters that are just for flashbacks to sort of fill in the story as I go, but that way in case people aren't interested it'll be easy for them to skip those chapters. </p><p>And don't worry the next chapter will be a Dean chapter so we'll see more of what's happening in the present.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They’ve been traveling through the ruins of Boston for almost a full hour without speaking. The silence is awkward and painful, but Dean doesn’t know what to say. Things feel so different now. He can see Blue look over towards him every once in a while to check on him, and sometimes Dean can hear him take a breath like he’s about to say something before thinking better of it and turning back around. Dean knows it isn’t Blue’s fault. He shouldn’t be upset at him, but it’s hard not to be. It hurts that his feelings are obviously not returned, and it’s easier to be angry than it is to be sad. Already he misses the feeling of being close to Blue. He needs to get over it. It’s never going to happen.</p><p> </p><p>After a few more minutes of unbearable silence, Dean decides it’s time to suck it up. If he wants people to stop treating him like a child, then he needs to stop acting like one. He decides to restart their game from the other day. “Back on the farm, I used to mess with Sammy all the time,” he says quietly and sees Blue turn to look at him out of the corner of his eye. “I’d tell him that certain plants were full of radiation and not to touch them or he’d die. He was scared of flowers until he was ten years old.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue surprises him by laughing. It’s a sound Dean doesn’t hear from him often, but he enjoys it every time he does. “That’s so mean,” Blue says, still chuckling.</p><p> </p><p>“It was funny though,” Dean says with a smile that quickly fades. “I miss him.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue looks down at his feet for a few seconds and then looks back up at Dean with that intensity that makes it impossible for him to look away. “After we’re done at the Combat Zone, we could…” Blue lets out a long exhale. “We could stop by your farm to make sure he’s alright if you want.” Dean stops dead in his tracks, and Blue takes a few more steps before realizing. “Dean, are you alright?” </p><p> </p><p>“You’d be okay with that?” Dean asks breathlessly.</p><p> </p><p>Blue squints his eyes a bit like he seems to do a lot when he’s thinking. “Yeah,” he says slowly. “I know we didn’t start off on the right foot, but I’d like to think our relationship has improved somewhat. After what you did for me, it’s the least I can do to try and make it up to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Dean says earnestly. It would mean the world to him to get to see Sammy again, even if it’s just for a little while. “I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue smiles at him. “Alright then. We’ll just say we took the scenic route home.”</p><p> </p><p>They continue to walk in silence, but it’s comfortable this time. Dean can’t keep the smile off of his face. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d stopped looking forward to things. He’d stopped looking forward to trying to escape, and he’d stopped looking forward to the possibility of ever seeing his family again. Now he has a reason to try his best at the Combat Zone. Not only will he be fighting to survive, he’ll also be fighting to get back home.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s your turn,” Dean says.</p><p> </p><p>“Pardon?”</p><p> </p><p>“I told you something about me, and now it’s your turn,” Dean reminds him. Blue stays quiet. “Come on, man.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want to know?” Blue asks instead.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it’s too hard for him to open up without being prodded. The problem is that Dean wants to know everything about him, even things he doesn’t know how to ask for. “How old are you?” He figures that’s a simple enough question, and it’s one he’s been dying to know the answer to. He knows there’s a big age difference between the two of them, but it’d be nice to know for sure. Blue is too agile, and his reflexes are too fast for him to be <em>that</em> old.</p><p> </p><p>When he looks over at his companion, he can tell that he’s struggling. That’s odd. This should be an easy question to answer. “I’m thirty-nine,” Blue finally says, and Dean tries not to let his face betray his shock. That’s older than he’d been guessing. Blue must have a baby-face, because Dean would’ve bet all of his caps that he couldn’t be older than thirty-five. “Is there a problem with that?” Blue asks frostily.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Dean quickly replies. “You’re just pretty quick for an old man.” He lightly shoves Blue’s shoulder to show he’s only kidding, and the other man smiles. They continue to walk in silence while Dean has an internal freak-out. His father is forty-one. Is it fucked up for him to have a crush on a thirty-nine year old?</p><p> </p><p>The sun is setting by the time Blue says they’re getting close. The buildings here are closer together again. They’re definitely in the heart of the city. The orange light from the setting sun causes the tall buildings to give off eerie shadows. Dean shivers a bit even though it isn’t cold. “There it is,” Blue says, pointing down towards where the street ends and intersects with a street crossing perpendicular to the one they’re on. On the other side is a row of buildings, and one of those buildings has lights on the outside. There are a couple lamps outside of the door and another light shining up towards the wall of the building. There’s a painted sign there that says ‘Combat Zone’ on it. “Wow, it’s all coming back to me,” Blue says with a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>Dean knows this must be hard for him. He’d told him a little bit about his years fighting at the Combat Zone. Blue made it sound like it was a hard time for him, but Dean also knows it was cathartic in a way. He’d let slip when they were talking about it that fighting there filled his desire for revenge. Revenge for what, Dean doesn’t know, and honestly, he’s too afraid to ask.</p><p> </p><p>Blue knocks on the door, the staccato sound of his fist hitting the wood is piercing in the otherwise quiet summer evening. Dean can hear some muffled voices coming from inside the building, and he feels like his stomach is in his throat. He’s so nervous. A slot in the door opens up revealing only eyes on the other side. It’s probably a bouncer of some sort. “I’m Blue from Alistair’s group of raiders,” the older man says. “Bringing in a fresh recruit to the fighting ring.”</p><p> </p><p>Surprise flashes through the bouncer’s eyes, and he opens up the door. He’s much younger than Dean was picturing him being. “Are you <em>the</em> Blue?” He asks excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>Blue rubs his neck nervously. “Yeah, that’s me.” Dean can tell Blue is uncomfortable being back here, but he’s impressed that everyone they’ve met so far in the Wasteland seems to have a certain level of respect for Blue. Dean wonders if that’s why he likes to keep a low profile. Maybe he doesn’t want the attention. “Can you take us back to see The King?”</p><p> </p><p>The bouncer nods. “Follow me.” Blue rests his hand on the small of Dean’s back while he ushers him through the door. He tries his best not to shiver at the casual touch. <em>Pathetic, Winchester.</em></p><p> </p><p>They walk down a small hallway into the front entrance of the building. Dean sees people milling around and talking to one another. They’re all dressed in normal clothes, not raider armor. Some of them are even wearing suits and ties. These are most likely the people from Diamond City who come to watch raiders fight so that they can get some action in their lives. It’s pretty disgusting to think about.</p><p> </p><p>The bouncer leads them down a dark side hallway. “We only have one room available at the moment,” he says, looking towards Blue, “But there are cots in the dormitories for the recruit.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn’t even have time to freak out before Blue says, “He’ll be staying with me,” in a voice that leaves no room for argument. The bouncer looks taken aback, but he nods and continues to walk down the hallway. They stop at the very end in front of a dark set of double doors. The bouncer knocks three times and waits.</p><p> </p><p>“Come in,” an accented voice says. The bouncer opens the door and motions for the two of them to step inside. Once they have, he closes the door, and Dean can hear his footsteps retreating down the hallway. It looks like they’re inside some sort of office. There’s a bearded man sitting behind an ornate wooden desk. He’s probably ‘The King’ that Blue asked to see. The raider steps forward with a smirk and ‘The King’ gasps. “As I live and breathe.” He stands up, and Dean notices that he’s pretty short. He also has a very strange accent that Dean hasn’t heard before. “Never expected to see you again, Blue.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not fighting, Crowley,” Blue says. He’s standing tensely next to Dean. “I brought a new recruit.” Crowley looks Dean up and down hungrily in a way that makes him very uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s a bit scrawny,” Crowley says with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“Well I’ve been training him, so you know he’ll be able to beat most of those guys out there,” Blue replies with a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re probably right,” Crowley laughs. “I’m sorry, we’re a bit light on accommodations right now. Whatever you need just name it, and I’ll have my guys take care of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your bouncer indicated that there’s one room available?” Blue phrases it like a question.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Crowley steps around the desk. “Follow me.” After Crowley is out of sight, Blue gives Dean a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He can probably sense how much he’s freaking out right now. They go up a set of stairs to the second floor where there’s another long hallway with a bunch of doors. These are probably the bedrooms they were talking about. Most of them have signs hanging from the door handles to indicate that they’re occupied, but they walk towards the one room that’s vacant.</p><p> </p><p>Crowley opens the door to reveal a fully stocked bathroom and a bedroom big enough to contain a cooking station and a king sized bed. There’s also plenty of room for the two of them to practice fighting if they want to. Dean gulps at the thought of sharing the bed with Blue tonight. He’s been doing it for a few weeks, but everything feels different. Now that Dean's aware that his feelings go beyond simple attraction, he’s terrified that Blue is going to find out and send him to sleep in the dormitories with the other recruits.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you need me to show him the dormitories?” Crowley asks, pointing at Dean.</p><p> </p><p>Blue stiffens next to him. “No, he’s staying with me.” Crowley’s eyebrows raise fractionally, but he doesn’t comment. The fierce look on Blue’s face must be enough to show that he doesn’t want to talk about it.</p><p> </p><p>“My number one is on in two hours,” Crowley says instead. “You should come watch and see how it’s done.” He looks at Dean when he says this, because obviously Blue already knows all about how things are done around here.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be there,” Blue says tightly. Crowley nods and leaves the room. Blue closes the door behind him with a sigh. “Crowley and I go way back, as I’m sure you guessed,” he says without turning around.</p><p> </p><p>“I noticed.” Dean stands in front of the bed awkwardly. This isn’t new to either of them, but for some reason they both seem to be weirdly nervous about sharing a room. Dean wonders if Blue has noticed how clingy he’s been recently. Maybe it makes him uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>“So,” Blue throws the duffle bag down on the bed. “We have a couple hours to kill. Do you want to practice?”</p><p> </p><p>As if Dean’s going to turn down any opportunity to touch Blue, even if it’s while they’re practice-fighting. He nods, and Blue immediately starts pulling his armor off. They usually don’t fight in armor, so that’s normal. What isn’t normal is how Blue continues to pull his jacket and shirt off after his armor is gone. Dean desperately tries not to look at all of the <em>skin</em> that’s on display right now, but it’s basically impossible. He’d forgotten how ripped his companion is. It’s lean muscle, but that almost makes him more attractive.</p><p> </p><p>Blue blushes a little bit. “It’s hot,” he says by way of explanation. Dean agrees. It is hot.</p><p> </p><p>He pulls off his own armor and shirt, and barely hides his smirk when he notices the older man checking him out. “Are you ready, old man?” He jokes.</p><p> </p><p>Blue laughs musically, and Dean almost melts. He loves being the reason for that sound. “Just for that, I’m not going to go easy on you.” Dean barely has a chance to take a breath before Blue is lunging at him. The two of them grapple for position, but Dean is having a hard time focusing on anything when he can feel Blue’s skin under his hands. He gasps as he’s flung onto the ground for the first time. “Focus, Dean,” Blue chastises him, as if it’s that simple. They wrestle for a bit longer, and Dean really tries this time. He wants to take Blue down for once. He’s not sure if he’ll ever be able to, but he can try.</p><p> </p><p>After a particularly long round, Dean finally makes a mistake and ends up on his back again with Blue leaning over him. Their compromising position puts a million ideas in his head. What’s different this time is that Blue doesn’t get up right away. He’s staring directly at him. Dean licks his lips and watches as Blue tracks the movement, his pupils dilating slightly.</p><p> </p><p>Blue looks back into his eyes. Dean isn’t sure what expression is on his face, but he couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. “Dean,” Blue says softly, looking back down at his lips. <em>Is he going to kiss him</em>?  The older man leans in slowly, giving Dean every opportunity to stop him. What he doesn’t know is that Dean doesn’t want to stop him. He’s been daydreaming about this for days now. When their lips touch, he immediately leans into it. It’s just as good as the dream, except this time it’s real.</p><p> </p><p>Dean wraps his arms around Blue’s broad shoulders and almost whimpers when he feels the muscles rippling under his skin. Blue must take that as encouragement to deepen the kiss. When their tongues meet, it lights a fire under his skin. He feels the rumble of Blue’s groan against his skin as their chests connect, slippery from the combined sweat of their intense workout. He knows this kiss is most likely fueled by adrenaline, but he doesn’t care. All he wants is to have Blue close to him for however long he can. He runs his hands down Blue’s back, lightly scratching him. That causes him to press his body more firmly into Dean’s with another groan.</p><p> </p><p>Dean takes that opportunity to gently tug on Blue’s thick, black hair, pulling his head to the side so he can kiss his neck. He places light kisses all the way up his neck to right below his ear. He knows when he finds the right spot because Blue thrusts into him again. Dean gently sucks on that spot below his ear, tasting the salt of the sweat on his skin. He doesn’t care. Actually he finds it hot pretty hot.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, Dean,” Blue moans. “Where the hell did you learn how to do that?” Dean doesn’t respond, he just continues his assault on Blue’s neck. He wishes he could leave a mark, but he knows he can’t. It’s not like Blue belongs to him or anything. Though the thought of him walking around with a hickey that Dean left there makes his dick twitch in his pants. Dean brings his lips back to Blue’s, and they start kissing frantically again. The intensity continues to ratchet up until he feels like he’s about to explode. Blue grinds into him again, and they both moan when their groins connect.</p><p> </p><p>A sharp knock on the door halts both of their movements instantly. Blue pulls back with a look that can only be described as terror, and Dean is pretty sure his own face mirrors that expression. In a second, Blue stands up and puts his shirt back on quickly. “Coming!” He yells in the direction of the door and then grimaces at his choice of words.</p><p> </p><p>Normally Dean would laugh, but he’s too freaked out at the moment. He runs towards the bathroom and closes the door, trying to calm himself down. He listens to Blue talk to whoever is at the door. It sounds like the same bouncer who had showed them how to get to Crowley’s office. The man reminds them that the fight is about to start and that Crowley set up one of the private viewing boxes for them to sit in.</p><p> </p><p>Dean splashes some water on his face and tries to control himself. This is fine. Everything is fine.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a hesitant knock on the door. “Dean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” His voice comes out strained.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright?” Blue asks. Dean isn’t sure how to answer that so he stays quiet. After a moment of silence, he can hear Blue sigh from the other side of the door. “We should go. I don’t want to piss Crowley off on our first day here.” He opens the door slowly, and Blue greets him with a smile. It looks a bit forced. Dean tries to return the smile, but he thinks his ends up looking more like a grimace.</p><p> </p><p>The two of them walk in complete silence towards the row of viewing boxes by the theater. These seats are on the second floor so they didn’t have to go downstairs. The building seems to be laid out with various rooms on the front end of it, like the room where they’re staying, and then the old theater where the fights take place is on the back end. When they get to their box, the bouncer brings in a tray full of food and a pitcher of beer. “Enjoy the fight,” he says and leaves with a small bow. Blue sits down in one of the theater seats, and Dean sits down in the other one. The seats are directly next to each other so their legs are touching. It’s the first time that Dean feels uncomfortable about their closeness.</p><p> </p><p>“Finally some real food,” Blue says with a happy sigh as he takes a huge bite out of some unidentifiable kind of meat. Dean copies him and closes his eyes as he chews, groaning at how good it tastes. When he opens his eyes, he notices that Blue’s eyes are hooded again. He hadn’t thought about how his groan would sound in the context of what they’d been doing a few minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>He grins sheepishly, “Sorry, it’s good.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue smiles back. “I told you real food is better than that processed shit you say you like.”</p><p> </p><p>The lights in the theater dim, and Dean listens to the roar of the crowd reach a feverish pitch. Everyone seems very excited for this last fight. Blue explains that fights in the early evening are lower ranked fighters, and the last fight of the night always goes to Crowley’s number one. Back in the day that had been Blue. Now it’s someone else.</p><p> </p><p>He sees his companion lean forward in his seat when the two fighters take the stage amidst a loud round of applause. “I’ll be damned,” Blue says in shock. Dean looks towards the arena and is surprised to see a short red-headed girl standing opposite a tall, burly man. This isn’t going to be a fair fight at all. There’s another man in the ring who appears to be the referee. Blue had explained that the referee is there to keep things from getting too out of hand. People want to watch a good fight, but if fighters start dying in the ring, everyone loses money. It’s not worth it.</p><p> </p><p>When the referee points to the burly man, the place fills with applause, but when the referee points to the tiny girl, the building absolutely erupts. Dean is surprised to hear that she’s the one everyone is cheering for. He leans over to Blue to ask, “Is she Crowley’s number one?” With how loud it is in here, they basically have to yell into each other’s ears to be heard.</p><p> </p><p>“Apparently,” Blue says with a smile. Maybe he’s excited to watch the match.</p><p> </p><p>The two fighters square off against each other, and Dean is positive this guy is going to make mince-meat out of her. He’s gigantic! He lunges forward towards the girl who easily dodges out of the way, hitting the man with a few punches as she passes by. He lunges again, and this time she cartwheels out of the way. The crowd cheers louder, loving her display of agility. She ducks down when he swings his arm to try and punch her, and she kicks him in the groin. Dean and the rest of the men in the audience wince in sympathy as the guy falls down to his knees. She grabs him by his hair and punches him hard with an uppercut to the bottom of his jaw. Even though she’s pretty small, from that angle it’s enough to knock him out.</p><p> </p><p>The referee comes over and starts to count. By this point the entire crowd is on their feet cheering. He lifts her arm up in the air to signal that she’s the winner, and the crowd gets even louder. The red-headed girl smiles and bows before skipping off the stage. Dean looks down into the crowd and sees a group of male raiders holding up signs asking her to marry them. This could not get any weirder.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you done eating or do you want to take some of this back to the room?” Blue asks him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine,” Dean says, tearing his eyes away from the crowd below them.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, then,” Blue says, standing up quickly. He doesn’t look back to see if Dean is following him when he leaves their private box. Dean walks quickly to catch up to him in the crowd of people leaving the event. There aren’t as many people up on the second level as there are in the main theater seating area, but it’s still more people than he’s ever seen in one place. He’s used to living on a farm with the occasional caravan stopping by to trade. There have to be more than one hundred people here.</p><p> </p><p>Blue turns around to make sure Dean’s following him when he gets to the back stairway. This is a different set of stairs than the one they’d come up earlier. It’s probably a less well-known exit because there aren’t as many people over here. When they get downstairs, Blue opens up a door that says ‘no admittance’ on it and steps through. Dean looks around to make sure nobody is watching before he steps inside as well. Through the door is absolute pandemonium. People are running around in various states of undress. Some of them are changing out of armor and back into normal clothes. Others are getting checked out by a doctor at a medical station. A handful of guys are sitting around a cooking station laughing and drinking beer. Blue walks past everyone without sparing them a glance. They don’t pay any attention to him either. Dean jogs to keep up with him. He assumes they’re in a backstage area meant for the fighters to prepare and relax after rounds. At the very back of this room is another door. Blue knocks on it.</p><p> </p><p>“Who is it?” A female voice replies.</p><p> </p><p>“Your majesty, I request an audience with you,” Blue says seriously, and Dean looks at him questioningly. He just shakes his head with a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>The door opens a crack revealing the red-haired girl who had been fighting earlier. Her eyes widen in disbelief, and then her face splits open in a smile. “C—" Blue covers her mouth with his hand before she can finish whatever she was about to say. Dean assumes it was Blue’s real name. All he was able to catch was a hard ‘C’ sound. He wonders if that means his name starts with a ‘C’ or a ‘K’.</p><p> </p><p>“Blue,” The raider says pointedly, nodding his head towards Dean.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” the red-head greets him enthusiastically and opens the door to let them in. Inside the room it’s a lot quieter than it was outside. This must be where she stays. She has a bed, a bathroom, and her own cooking station. The layout seems similar to the room they’re staying in upstairs.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, Charlie,” Blue says. “This is Dean. He’s a new recruit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Welcome to the Combat Zone,” Charlie says, stepping forward to embrace him in a hug. Dean is too surprised to react, but whatever look is on his face makes Blue chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>“Please tell me you haven't been here for the past six years, Charlie,” Blue says before sitting down and putting his feet up on the table. Dean assumes they know each other really well since he’s making himself at home, and Charlie apparently knows his real name.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck no,” Charlie laughs and sits down at the table facing Blue. “I’ve actually only been back here a couple months. I was running on my own for a while, but it got old. It’s exciting being on the road, but there’s something to be said for having a bed, running water, and warm food every night.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue sighs. “I know what you mean.” Dean feels awkward being the only one left standing so he walks over to accompany Blue on the couch. “I was on my own for a while until I got sucked back in.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you running with anyone?” Charlie asks.</p><p> </p><p>“I have my own garrison now, but I’m still working beneath Alistair.” Dean can’t help but shudder at the mention of Alistair’s name. Blue inconspicuously moves his arm to rest on the back of the couch and over Dean’s shoulder. “Hoping to get out of that situation as soon as possible though,” Blue says and subtly runs his hand through Dean’s hair. He stiffens at first and then leans back into the touch. He isn’t sure what’s happening, but he’s not going to complain if it involves Blue touching him. He makes sure to file away the information that Blue isn’t planning on working with Alistair for too much longer if he can help it. He’ll have to ask about that later.</p><p> </p><p>“So Dean,” Charlie says, pulling him out of that thought. “How long have you been running with Blue?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean feels Blue’s hand stop momentarily on the back of his neck before he starts essentially petting his hair again. It’s not like he’s going to tell this girl that Blue kidnapped him or something. “Just a few weeks,” Dean replies, hoping his voice sounds normal.</p><p> </p><p>“All of the Captains are taking recruits out to the Combat Zone to make some caps,” Blue explains, rolling his eyes. “It’s obnoxious, but honestly I’m glad to be back on the road because I was starting to go a little crazy there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s your group stationed?” Charlie asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Corvega Assembly Plant in Lexington.”</p><p> </p><p>Charlie’s eyes widen. “That’s pretty far north. You guys must be tired after traveling all the way down here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Understatement,” Dean says with a chuckle. He feels Blue tug lightly on his hair as if in a warning, but when he looks over the older man is smiling at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, there will be plenty of time for us to catch up, Blue,” Charlie says, standing up. “And plenty of time for me to get to know you, Dean. You guys should get some rest, and we’ll talk later.”</p><p> </p><p>They say goodbye and walk back up to their room in silence. By this time most of the building has cleared out except for the fighters. Dean also notices a few people cleaning up spilled food and beer in the theater area. “So what do you think?” Blue asks when they get back into their room and lock the door behind them.</p><p> </p><p>“This was not how I was picturing it would be,” Dean says. He’s feeling a lot of different things right now, but he figures that’s as good enough an answer as any.</p><p> </p><p>“Told you it wasn’t that bad,” Blue says as he starts rummaging through one of the bags for another set of clothes. That hadn’t been what Dean meant, but he doesn’t bother correcting him. He walks over towards the bed and sits down. He feels exhausted all of a sudden. Blue looks over at him and then at the bed. He blushes and scratches the back of his head again. Dean can’t help but find it adorable when he does that.</p><p> </p><p>“Umm, I’m going to clean up, but you can go ahead and go to sleep. You look tired,” Blue says and then steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Dean sits still for a moment processing what just happened. He can’t keep up. One moment he thinks his feelings are unreciprocated, then Blue is kissing him, then he’s acting embarrassed about having kissed him, then he’s stroking his hair as if that’s something they do all the time, and now he’s avoiding having to share a bed with him even though they’ve been doing that for almost a month now. It doesn’t make any sense, and Dean’s brain is too tired to try to figure it out now. He collapses down onto the bed and falls asleep right when his head hits the pillow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, I am so sorry it's been so long since I've updated this! I promise I haven't forgotten about this fic. I still have loads of plans for it and ideas of where I want it to go.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fall 2287</p>
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<p>Castiel walks behind the rest of the group in a daze. Two hundred years. He can’t believe it, and yet there’s absolutely no reason for these people to lie to him. He can see the evidence with his own eyes. Parts of the landscape are the same, but the world has definitely changed drastically from when he went into the vault. What vegetation there is looks warped and twisted. There are some types of plants that he’s pretty sure didn’t used to exist. One of them has weird-looking purple fruit on it. Rufus picks one of the fruits as they pass by and immediately takes a bite out of it. Castiel guesses that means it isn’t poisonous.</p>
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<p>They walk back to Castiel’s old neighborhood where they’ve decided to start a settlement. Apparently, that’s what Rufus and Bobby have been working on: trying to build settlements for people who don’t have a safe place to call home. They tell him that their purpose as Hunters is to try and restore some level of humanity and civilization to the Wasteland. They know it’s impossible to return to what the world used to be, but they can make the best of what’s left.</p>
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<p>Castiel wants nothing more than to immediately head out looking for this Diamond City to try and find Claire, but he knows he needs to at least spend a few days with these guys first. He needs to learn about what’s happened to the world while he was frozen, and he needs to know how to survive out here alone when he leaves them.</p>
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<p>“You hanging in there?” Bobby asks, turning around to look back at him.</p>
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<p>Castiel just nods because he’s not sure if he can make his mouth work at the moment. He feels numb. It’s almost like he’s outside of his body, watching but not actually doing. His feet move mechanically, left, right, left, right, as they cross the bridge over the river and step into his old neighborhood. He tears up as he tries his best not to think about all of his old neighbors who used to live here. The houses are mostly destroyed with some walls still standing up while others have been completely pulverized.</p>
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<p>“Alright, folks,” Rufus claps his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Let’s turn this place into a home.”</p>
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<p>Summer 2299</p>
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<p>Castiel sits on the floor of the bathroom with his back against the door until he can hear Dean’s light snores coming from the other side. He can’t believe how massively he managed to fuck things up. He’s finally started to get Dean to trust him, and then he had to go and ruin it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kissing Dean was a mistake on so many levels. He’s been fighting an attraction to the boy since the very first time he saw him. Something about those green eyes and freckles immediately drew him in. Then when he saw how Dean was willing to sacrifice himself for his brother, he knew he had to do whatever he could to keep him out of Alistair’s clutches. Finding out who Dean really is and getting to know him better over the course of the past couple weeks only made his attraction go stronger. Castiel is sure now that it’s not just lust, either. He has <em>feelings</em> for Dean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel runs his hands across his face and sighs. He hasn’t let himself have feelings for anyone since he woke up from the cryogenic freeze. Of course, he’s had meaningless one-night-stands over the years, but nothing lasting more than a night. He’s only human, after all. At first he felt guilty like he was betraying Amelia, but as the years passed by, he knew she wouldn’t fault him for trying to move on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean is not an option though. He may technically be of age but just barely. Castiel is old enough to be his father. Claire, wherever she is, would be around sixteen by now. That thought causes Castiel to lurch forward towards the toilet and start retching. He doesn’t actually throw up, but he wishes he would. Maybe then the queasiness he feels in his stomach would go away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How is he supposed to share a bed with Dean now? How is he supposed to train him to fight? To put his hands on Dean’s hips to make sure he’s using the correct stances? Castiel runs his hand across his face again. He needs to stop this before it gets worse. He’ll have to tell Dean that they can’t cuddle in bed anymore. They’ll go back to sleeping with their backs facing each other like they did the first week they were together. Castiel will protect Dean as much as he can in the ring, and then they’ll head back to Corvega when they’ve made enough money. He’ll find a way to get his garrison out of there, and then he’ll drop Dean back off at his farm with his family. He won’t have to see him again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel feels a pain in his chest when he thinks about a future without Dean in it, and that’s proof enough that this has already gone too far. He needs to put an end to it now. He tries to sleep on the bathroom floor, which ends up being about as comfortable as it sounds, but he only gets a couple hours before he wakes up to Dean knocking on the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Blue,” Dean sighs. “I need to piss.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel quickly washes his face off with water, hoping that he doesn’t look like too much of a mess when he opens up the door. Dean doesn’t even look at him. He just pushes past him to get into the bathroom and closes the door once he leaves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel sits down on the bed and tries to come up with a plan for how he’s going to tell Dean. He barely gets a moment to come up with one before Dean is stepping back out of the bathroom. This time he meets his green eyes and sees hurt and confusion in them. Shit, he’s really fucked up here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dean,” He starts. “We need to talk.” He signals that Dean should come sit down, but the boy shakes his head and crosses his arms stubbornly. “Last night was a mistake. You’ve been going through a lot lately, and I took advantage of that.” Dean’s eyebrows raise slightly. “It wasn’t intentional, I promise, but that doesn’t make it okay.” He sighs. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you, but you have my word that I’ll keep my hands to myself in the future.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks up to try and gauge Dean’s reaction to his words, but if anything, Dean looks even more confused. “You’re saying you didn’t want to kiss me yesterday?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I—” Castiel struggles to come up with the right words. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t think we should.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“God, Dean,” Castiel stands up and starts pacing around. He feels suddenly agitated. “I kidnapped you! I’m forcing you to fight for other people’s entertainment! For God’s sake, I’m like twenty years older than you!!” Dean flinches, but instead of looking relieved, he looks even more upset. That doesn’t make any sense. “You’re too—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Young,” Dean finishes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Good</em> is what Castiel was going to say, but young works as well. <em>I don’t want to ruin you</em>, is what he can’t say. “Dean…” He gets distracted when he sees how close the two of them had gotten during their argument. When did they start standing so close to each other?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before he has a chance to remember what he’d been planning to say to end the argument, Dean closes the remaining distance between them and kisses him hard. Castiel’s hands latch onto his hips to push him away, but when he feels Dean trembling slightly, he pauses. Dean was <em>upset</em>. He’d been confused at the beginning of their conversation, but he didn’t look upset until after Castiel had started yelling at him about their age difference. Had Dean actually enjoyed their kiss?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel pulls away from him, but he doesn’t let go of his hips. Dean’s trembling has gotten more pronounced, and from the way he tries to hide his face, Castiel realizes that he’s crying<em>. Fuck, he was supposed to be fixing things, not making them worse</em>. He pulls Dean into his chest and wraps his arms around him in a hug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Dean,” Castiel murmurs while the boy continues to cry softly. “I don’t know what to do…” He’s truly floundering here. Everything he thinks he’s done right ends up being wrong. “Tell me how I can fix it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean sniffles, and Castiel can hear him take a fortifying breath. He pulls away and wipes his eyes off with the back of his hand. He’s still looking anywhere but at Castiel, but at least he’s not crying anymore. “You’re an ass!” Castiel flinches, but he doesn’t argue. He’s about to reply when Dean cuts him off. “You don’t get to walk around deciding how things are going to be,” he says shakily. “You don’t get to decide how I feel!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel squints in confusion. “I don’t understand—"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you ever think that maybe I don’t care that you kidnapped me?” Dean’s voice is angry now. “Did you ever think that maybe I like you anyways? That I don’t care that you’re older than me! That I like you even though you don’t tell me anything about yourself and even though you think so little of me as to believe I would’ve left you to die from that ghoul bite.” Castiel tries to interrupt to say that’s not what he’d meant, but Dean continues, “I don’t care, Blue! I don’t care about any of that!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dean…” His emotions are warring inside of him. On the one hand, he’s surprised and elated to find out Dean actually likes him back, that this isn’t one sided, but on the other hand he knows he shouldn’t pursue this even though he wants to. It wouldn’t be right. “I’m old enough to be your father.” He hopes Dean can understand how messed up that is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So?!” Dean shoves him angrily. “The world has ended, Blue. Do you really think those rules apply anymore?” Castiel doesn’t have a good response to that. “I like you, and you said you’re attracted to me too. We have to live in this shithole of a world, and I’m just trying to make something good of it. Where’s the problem in that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There isn’t one,” Castiel concedes quietly. He’s quickly losing his resolve the longer he stares into Dean’s tear-filled eyes. He’s not sure what emotions are playing on his own face, but whatever Dean sees there causes him to pull him back into a hug. Maybe Dean is right. They’re living in a post-apocalyptic world for fuck’s sake. Maybe there aren’t any rules anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel wraps one arm around Dean’s waist as the other drifts upwards to run through the hair on the back of his head. It’s grown out a bit since they first kidnapped him. He also has a line of peach fuzz on his jaw that wasn’t there before. Maybe Castiel should offer to cut it for him later. Right now though, he just pulls Dean even closer to him and lets out an anxious breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding this entire time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe he’s taking advantage of their situation. Maybe he’ll go to hell for this, but at the same time, it’s not the worst thing he’s done since he was unfrozen. He’s spent the last twelve years angry and depressed, but when he’s close to Dean he feels at peace for the first time in a very long time. He’d almost forgotten what that felt like. He leans down to place a gentle kiss on Dean’s forehead as the boy wraps his arms more tightly around his middle. Maybe good things do happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fall 2287</p>
<hr/>
<p>A couple days ends up turning into a couple months. Bobby and Rufus give him the run down on everything that’s changed over the last two centuries that he was frozen. They teach him how to survive in the hostile Wasteland: which plants are safe to eat, how to cook food to minimize the amount of rads they absorb, and how to deal with the radiation storms. In return, he helps them rebuild his old neighborhood into a new settlement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bobby gives him a list of parts to go scavenge so they can build a radio tower. If they can get a signal broadcasting, they can let other settlers know that there’s a settlement here. The more people they can get to come here, the easier it’ll be to defend themselves against attacks from raiders or super mutants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes him a few hours of digging through the remains of the old houses before he finds the parts he needs. He steadfastly avoids stepping inside of the house that used to belong to his family. He can’t bear to see their old pictures on the walls or see Claire’s high-chair in the corner. He feels his throat constrict as he thinks about Amelia’s frozen body still buried under the earth in Vault 111. He’s barely holding it together at the moment, and he knows the feeble grip he has on his sanity will be lost if he steps foot inside their old house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once he’s found the last piece, he heads back over towards the empty lot they’ve been using as their workshop. It used to belong to his neighbors, the Andersons, but when they got here, the entire house had been leveled. It had taken them a few days to move all of the debris off of the lot and separate it into piles that could be salvageable and piles that needed to be discarded. He hands all of the supplies off to Rufus who doesn’t bother saying thank you and instead gets straight to work on building the radio tower.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel rolls his eyes, but he leaves the empty lot to try and scrounge up something to eat. All of that digging through rubble has made him hungry. He passes by a porch where Missouri is rocking back and forth slowly on a rocking chair and staring at him. He remembers what she told him a few days ago. Castiel had spoken to her more about Claire and what she’d seen in her visions. Missouri said she knew that Claire had been taken by scientists, but Castiel thought that was a bit weird. The man he’d seen in the cryogenic pod wasn’t dressed like a scientist. He was dressed more like how Bobby and Rufus have described the raiders to him. He’d been wearing leather armor with metal spikes coming out of the shoulders, not a white lab coat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shivers slightly as he walks more quickly past the porch and out of sight. Even though he’s far enough away that she shouldn’t be able to see him, it’s almost like he can still feel Missouri’s eyes on him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel sees Bobby bent over an old car, trying to siphon some gasoline out of it. They’ll use the gasoline in generators to power the radio beacon once they’ve set it up. “Hey, Bobby,” he starts hesitantly, and the older man looks up at him. “What do you think about Missouri’s visions? Do you think she can really see things?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t used to,” Bobby replies cautiously. “I always assumed she’d been dipping into our stash of chems, but now I don’t know. She told us months ago that if we traveled north, we’d meet a man who could tell us where to start a settlement.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel gasped. If Missouri had predicted them meeting him, maybe she was right about Claire too. “She told me that my daughter Claire is alive and has been taken by scientists. Do you think she could be right about that too?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Scientists, huh,” Bobby scratches his beard. “There’s only one group of scientists I’ve heard of around here. They’re also known to kidnap people if you believe the stories about them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’re called The Institute,” Bobby’s voice drops to a whisper. “I always assumed it was an urban legend. I’ve met people fleeing from Diamond City saying that their neighbor got kidnapped by The Institute. Again, I just thought they were in the chems, but maybe they were telling the truth.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Diamond City…” Castiel taps his chin thoughtfully. “Missouri said I needed to go to Diamond City. She said I’d be able to find out information about Claire there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s right,” Bobby says. “There are lots of people living there, and they have better resources than we have up here. I guarantee you somebody will know something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How do I get there?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bobby motions for Castiel to follow him towards the house they’ve mostly fixed up. It’s where they’ve set up all the mattresses to sleep on since it doesn’t leak in the rain. Bobby pulls out an old newspaper and starts drawing a crude map on the back of it. “We’re here,” he points to a star he’s drawn. “Here is Concord where you found us.” He quickly draws a long squiggly line south and then draws a big diamond. “All the way down here is Diamond City.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel sighs. “That’s a long way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It is,” Bobby nods. “But it’s the best chance you have of finding your girl.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is there any way I’ll be able to tell when I’m close?” He asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The entire wall around of Diamond City is painted an emerald green.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel chuckles. “Like the Land of Oz? Does that mean I get to follow the yellow brick road too?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bobby looks at him like he’s crazy, and Castiel realizes that movie came out centuries ago. He must not have understood the reference. Bobby shakes his head and ignores him. “When you get really close, there are also white arrows to guide you the rest of the way. Sometimes they don’t want to let people inside, but you can just tell them you’re a trader, and you’ll be fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel glances back down at the map. He’s not looking forward to taking off by himself to somewhere he’s never been before, but he knows he has to. He’ll brave the dangers of the Wasteland if it means finding Claire.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you all are still enjoying this!<br/>If you are looking for more fics to read in between these updates, I'm also working on some other fics right now. I'd appreciate if y'all could check them out and leave some comments or kudos... Okay, enough self-promo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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